1
00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:05,041
The mind does anything
2
00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:07,083
to stay in power.
3
00:01:11,041 --> 00:01:12,916
It tells us
4
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,916
that without its presence
5
00:01:17,208 --> 00:01:19,500
in everything,
6
00:01:19,583 --> 00:01:21,083
we won't function.
7
00:01:24,291 --> 00:01:27,458
We won't love or be loved.
8
00:01:35,125 --> 00:01:38,708
So, notice the nasty tone--
9
00:01:38,791 --> 00:01:40,958
{\an8}-Oh, come on.
-…the bullying voice…
10
00:01:41,041 --> 00:01:42,958
{\an8}Pass!
11
00:01:43,041 --> 00:01:45,541
{\an8}-…the mind abusing.
12
00:01:49,916 --> 00:01:53,000
This is the frightened ego.
13
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:58,125
Frightened because…
14
00:01:58,208 --> 00:01:59,541
Jesus Christ!
15
00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:03,333
…what we are looking for,
because the things
16
00:02:03,416 --> 00:02:06,750
-it tells us are not truths, only stories.
-Oh.
17
00:02:07,458 --> 00:02:11,958
And while story needs mind
and mind needs story…
18
00:02:26,958 --> 00:02:28,541
-Mom?
-Hey.
19
00:02:28,625 --> 00:02:30,958
Mom, I have one bar
of reception, and I'm at work.
20
00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:32,541
I have to teach a guy to strangle me,
21
00:02:32,625 --> 00:02:34,625
so I can't talk right now.
22
00:02:34,708 --> 00:02:35,958
-Um…
-Yeah, okay.
23
00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:38,083
Yeah, actually, I can't talk either. Um…
24
00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:40,041
The truth is very quiet.
25
00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:42,166
I'm just calling 'cause, um…
26
00:02:42,250 --> 00:02:44,333
I'm gonna be leaving reception any minute,
27
00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:49,708
and I'm gonna be on a semi-silent retreat
in the wilderness, so, um…
28
00:02:50,833 --> 00:02:52,750
Yeah, so don't expect to hear from me.
29
00:02:52,833 --> 00:02:54,500
…presence…
30
00:02:54,583 --> 00:02:58,541
-Dyl? I lost you. Um…
-…doesn't scream or hold us hostage.
31
00:02:58,625 --> 00:03:01,625
-I can't hear you. But, bye.
-It doesn't need us.
32
00:03:01,708 --> 00:03:02,750
Bye-bye.
33
00:03:02,833 --> 00:03:05,041
But it is here for us.
34
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:40,208
-There you go.
-Thank you.
35
00:03:40,291 --> 00:03:42,500
So…
36
00:03:42,583 --> 00:03:46,166
The silence will begin at 6:00 p.m.,
following the welcome meeting.
37
00:03:46,250 --> 00:03:48,541
There is no Wi-Fi outside of reception,
38
00:03:48,625 --> 00:03:50,833
and it's a low-to-no technology retreat.
39
00:03:50,916 --> 00:03:52,375
-Okay.
-Ooh, also,
40
00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:55,625
if you could sign… here,
41
00:03:55,708 --> 00:03:59,166
just agreeing to be in the, uh…
42
00:03:59,958 --> 00:04:01,416
-promotional DVD.
-Yeah.
43
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:05,083
Uh, no, I don't wanna be filmed.
That's why I didn't sign it.
44
00:04:05,166 --> 00:04:06,416
Oh. Okay.
45
00:04:07,583 --> 00:04:11,875
Well, uh, if you could motion
to Mark from the film school…
46
00:04:11,958 --> 00:04:13,958
-Hmm?
-…he'll be behind the camera.
47
00:04:14,041 --> 00:04:15,291
But you'll tell him too.
48
00:04:15,375 --> 00:04:17,458
No, it's just I don't want
my daughter or my ex,
49
00:04:17,541 --> 00:04:19,458
you know, to…
50
00:04:19,541 --> 00:04:21,875
see what I say, if I say anything.
51
00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:26,166
I can make a note,
but if you could tell him yourself…
52
00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:28,333
I have a lot to be abreast of.
53
00:04:28,416 --> 00:04:30,416
-So I'd appreciate that.
-Sure. Okay.
54
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,208
Teamwork.
55
00:04:33,291 --> 00:04:35,291
Um… So…
56
00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:37,541
meeting room.
57
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:38,583
Yeah.
58
00:04:38,666 --> 00:04:40,166
Bridge.
59
00:04:40,916 --> 00:04:42,000
Maze.
60
00:04:42,083 --> 00:04:43,500
And rooms are beyond.
61
00:04:43,583 --> 00:04:45,291
Ooh. Any especially good?
62
00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:46,958
-Room nine.
-They're all the same.
63
00:04:47,041 --> 00:04:48,666
Oh. I was just…
64
00:04:48,750 --> 00:04:51,458
I'm… I was joking.
It's a totally weak joke.
65
00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:54,375
Yeah. 'Cause… See, we're here
trying to get enlightened,
66
00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:56,500
so it shouldn't matter. It doesn't matter.
67
00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,250
I'll take a map.
68
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:02,041
Uh, there's some
phone reception by the trash.
69
00:05:02,125 --> 00:05:04,541
-Uh-huh.
-It's only for emergencies.
70
00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:08,458
Thanks.
71
00:05:10,916 --> 00:05:15,958
Only for emergencies
with technology and reception.
72
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:33,875
Oh, fuck!
73
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:05,291
If you need to talk, just call your dad.
74
00:06:05,375 --> 00:06:08,166
Why would I call Dad?
I never call Dad.
75
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:09,916
'Cause you won't be able to call me.
76
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,625
Okay. I think I'll manage.
77
00:06:11,708 --> 00:06:13,708
I mean, I hardly ever call either of you.
78
00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,833
Well, if something goes wrong…
79
00:06:16,916 --> 00:06:19,250
You know your job's dangerous.
80
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:21,666
You know, accidents do happen.
81
00:06:21,750 --> 00:06:23,458
Mom, can you not?
82
00:06:23,541 --> 00:06:25,875
Well, actually, nothing kills
you in New Zealand anyway,
83
00:06:25,958 --> 00:06:27,625
-so I'll be fine.
-Okay.
84
00:06:28,875 --> 00:06:30,000
Sure.
85
00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:32,375
I worry.
86
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:34,083
Yeah, I know, but can you not?
87
00:06:34,166 --> 00:06:36,541
Because it actually
throws me off. Please? Like--
88
00:06:36,625 --> 00:06:38,958
Okay. Yes! I'm sorry.
89
00:06:39,041 --> 00:06:40,791
Elmore's ready for stunt.
90
00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:44,208
-Copy. Fuck. I gotta go.
-Why, because of me?
91
00:06:44,291 --> 00:06:46,708
No, because of work.
I'm just late already.
92
00:06:46,791 --> 00:06:48,500
Well, uh…
93
00:06:49,750 --> 00:06:52,416
Look, I will text you
94
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:55,416
when the silence is over.
95
00:06:55,500 --> 00:06:56,958
-Yeah?
-Yeah. Okay.
96
00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:58,125
Um, love you.
97
00:06:58,208 --> 00:07:01,625
Have a good experience,
and I hope you enjoy it.
98
00:07:01,708 --> 00:07:04,375
Yeah. I mean, unless I decide
to prolong it, you know?
99
00:07:06,833 --> 00:07:10,416
If I don't text you,
then don't contact me, I guess.
100
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,250
Okay.
101
00:07:13,958 --> 00:07:15,708
-Love you.
-Bye, baby.
102
00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:23,041
You are not lost.
You are not broken.
103
00:07:25,333 --> 00:07:28,250
I invite you to begin this time…
104
00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:31,750
without yourselves…
105
00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:35,250
…without the stories that drove you here…
106
00:07:35,333 --> 00:07:36,750
Yes!
107
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,708
…parked your cars…
108
00:07:42,208 --> 00:07:45,250
…though I'm sure
they are very compelling.
109
00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:54,083
I invite us to be quiet…
110
00:07:57,291 --> 00:08:00,625
to give ourselves permission to be…
111
00:08:05,458 --> 00:08:06,958
a little mysterious.
112
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:15,958
Silence in the context of retreat
113
00:08:16,041 --> 00:08:17,708
is not only about not talking,
114
00:08:17,791 --> 00:08:21,875
it's an opportunity to no longer
participate in socializing.
115
00:08:29,791 --> 00:08:32,541
I encourage you
not to smile at each other.
116
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,333
No winking.
117
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:41,916
No signing.
118
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:46,916
But…
119
00:08:48,458 --> 00:08:52,208
you can use the board
or come to Petunia or myself
120
00:08:52,291 --> 00:08:55,083
if you're experiencing panic,
of course.
121
00:08:58,666 --> 00:09:00,333
Maybe see what happens, though.
122
00:09:04,208 --> 00:09:08,125
Yes. Maybe see what happens
if you let yourself feel that panic
123
00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:11,125
on your own a little first.
124
00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:19,833
It may not be…
125
00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:24,083
all that it seems.
126
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,791
-Oh, uh, other hand.
-Oh.
127
00:09:37,291 --> 00:09:39,208
-Was that too hard?
-No, it's fine.
128
00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:41,875
But you don't need to squeeze,
because I'm just pulling you.
129
00:09:41,958 --> 00:09:43,000
True, true.
130
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,791
-All good.
-Okay, I'll follow you.
131
00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:47,375
That's right. And remember,
you can't hurt me.
132
00:09:47,458 --> 00:09:49,583
-I have full control. It's fine.
-Okay.
133
00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:53,666
-Ready?
-Yeah.
134
00:09:53,750 --> 00:09:54,750
Okay.
135
00:09:54,833 --> 00:09:56,750
And… three,
136
00:09:57,625 --> 00:09:59,541
two, one.
137
00:10:03,125 --> 00:10:04,708
Oh, shit!
138
00:10:04,791 --> 00:10:07,250
Are you…
139
00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:09,333
Are you all right? What?
140
00:10:10,875 --> 00:10:14,625
Nah. Nah. Don't do that to me.
141
00:10:14,708 --> 00:10:16,708
-Don't.
-No, it does hurt…
142
00:10:16,791 --> 00:10:19,458
Sorry. Okay. No, that was great.
You did really good.
143
00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:22,000
Okay. All right.
144
00:10:22,083 --> 00:10:23,291
Let's do it again.
145
00:10:23,375 --> 00:10:26,791
-All right. Well, do you wanna try this?
-Oh, yeah. So… Okay.
146
00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:29,458
Ugh!
147
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,416
-Ow!
-Nah.
148
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,291
Not twice.
149
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,583
You're absolutely mangling your apple.
150
00:10:36,666 --> 00:10:38,625
Shh! I'm concentrating!
151
00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:42,208
What are you doing to that apple?
152
00:10:44,041 --> 00:10:46,041
That's not what I showed you.
153
00:10:46,125 --> 00:10:47,500
Fuck!
154
00:10:49,041 --> 00:10:50,541
This is not fair.
155
00:10:51,625 --> 00:10:53,625
How?
156
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:55,625
Okay.
157
00:11:00,791 --> 00:11:02,750
I wanna beat you at everything, so…
158
00:11:02,833 --> 00:11:05,125
You are such a sore loser.
159
00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:07,083
That's really something.
160
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,916
Two flightless birds for you.
161
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,416
Oh!
162
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,833
What the fuck?
163
00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:28,416
Ow.
164
00:11:53,416 --> 00:11:54,666
Fuck!
165
00:12:23,916 --> 00:12:25,000
Hmm…
166
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,625
No. Breakfast is finished.
167
00:12:38,166 --> 00:12:39,041
Hi.
168
00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,791
Thank you for joining us.
169
00:12:44,875 --> 00:12:45,916
Yeah, of course.
170
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,000
Great.
171
00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:48,750
We've been a very quiet bunch here.
172
00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:51,708
The airport was just a fiasco.
I'm so sorry.
173
00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:08,125
Good, good, good.
174
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:12,750
-It's pretty!
-Yes.
175
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,791
-What room am I?
-We've got you in room number nine.
176
00:13:15,875 --> 00:13:19,041
-Cool. Thank you.
-You're welcome. Follow me.
177
00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:20,708
-Mm.
-Good.
178
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:26,500
Where's Elon?
179
00:13:26,583 --> 00:13:28,500
Uh, he's meditating.
180
00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:30,041
Come, come, come.
181
00:13:33,208 --> 00:13:35,541
There's no fucking way.
182
00:14:45,291 --> 00:14:48,166
It's not complicated.
That's four times now.
183
00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:51,291
He wants you to die,
like, a bit more slowly.
184
00:14:51,375 --> 00:14:52,458
Yeah, after the first.
185
00:14:52,541 --> 00:14:54,500
You need to go faster going up.
186
00:14:54,583 --> 00:14:55,791
Then you take the arrow,
187
00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:57,750
then you fall
and you face more the camera,
188
00:14:57,833 --> 00:14:59,791
so we can see you, all right?
189
00:14:59,875 --> 00:15:00,750
-Yeah.
-Cool.
190
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,791
We've done it four times, guys.
Come on. We--
191
00:15:02,875 --> 00:15:04,500
Okay. We're gonna go again, guys.
192
00:15:04,583 --> 00:15:07,458
It doesn't work.
They rehearsed for two days.
193
00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:10,291
-Okay, last looks.
-What is happening?
194
00:15:11,583 --> 00:15:13,041
And… action.
195
00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:15,791
Four, three, two, one. Go!
196
00:15:20,166 --> 00:15:22,875
-And cut! No.
-That's a cut?
197
00:15:22,958 --> 00:15:26,458
It doesn't work.
We've tried ten times…
198
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,166
Hey.
Could you take a photo for me?
199
00:16:46,041 --> 00:16:47,833
-Oh, it's over.
-Oh.
200
00:16:47,916 --> 00:16:49,166
Elon broke it.
201
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:50,625
Did you sleep in?
202
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:55,208
Um… My alarm didn't go off.
Well, actually, it went… Oh.
203
00:16:55,291 --> 00:16:56,625
Oh, it's fading.
204
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:58,708
Um…
205
00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:02,083
Okay.
206
00:17:06,916 --> 00:17:08,125
Can you take a couple?
207
00:17:14,458 --> 00:17:15,708
Okay. How's that?
208
00:17:20,208 --> 00:17:21,791
Oh, I'm in shadow.
209
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:26,125
Well, it's, um, backlit, so…
210
00:17:26,208 --> 00:17:27,541
Are you a photographer?
211
00:17:28,791 --> 00:17:30,083
No.
212
00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:34,041
I've taken a few portraits, but, um…
213
00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:44,791
-Thanks.
-Sorry.
214
00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:46,916
Mm.
215
00:17:48,583 --> 00:17:50,791
Uh, my dad was a bully.
216
00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:54,875
He was a small, aggressive,
white Palagi man.
217
00:17:54,958 --> 00:17:57,500
He stopped bullying me
when I got bigger than him.
218
00:17:58,791 --> 00:18:00,750
I begged my body to get bigger.
219
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,541
Mind control.
220
00:18:09,041 --> 00:18:12,208
And now I'm supporting him financially,
221
00:18:12,291 --> 00:18:14,041
'cause he's ill,
222
00:18:14,916 --> 00:18:16,583
and 'cause he's my dad.
223
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:22,500
My… My sister made this comment about him,
224
00:18:22,583 --> 00:18:24,708
and I didn't take it too well…
225
00:18:26,791 --> 00:18:28,166
at all.
226
00:18:30,333 --> 00:18:31,750
But I want to.
227
00:18:37,708 --> 00:18:39,041
I'm ashamed,
228
00:18:40,833 --> 00:18:42,500
and I'm afraid…
229
00:18:43,958 --> 00:18:46,708
…of what she's going to say.
230
00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:51,750
Yeah.
231
00:18:51,833 --> 00:18:53,708
If he hurt her…
232
00:18:53,791 --> 00:18:55,208
I'm gonna finish him off.
233
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:00,708
But not, you know, now,
234
00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:03,000
'cause I've told all you guys
our plan, so…
235
00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,750
That'd be stupid.
236
00:19:07,541 --> 00:19:09,666
Hmm. Did anybody connect?
237
00:19:13,625 --> 00:19:14,833
Yeah.
238
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,875
Is that what we're gonna do, Elon?
239
00:19:21,416 --> 00:19:22,458
Do what?
240
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:27,833
Enough doing.
241
00:19:29,916 --> 00:19:31,500
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
242
00:19:34,083 --> 00:19:37,125
Look what people have done so far.
243
00:19:41,791 --> 00:19:46,250
Okay. Is there anyone else left
who's willing to share a shame?
244
00:19:49,875 --> 00:19:51,000
Or a secret?
245
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:53,458
I will.
246
00:19:53,541 --> 00:19:55,250
Okay.
247
00:19:58,041 --> 00:20:00,916
Thank you, Dion, for your honesty.
248
00:20:01,791 --> 00:20:03,750
I'm humbled before you.
249
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,583
Oh, I… I don't wanna be filmed.
250
00:20:10,666 --> 00:20:12,625
Okay. No problem.
Turn it off. Turn it off.
251
00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:19,416
So, I am filled with
252
00:20:20,625 --> 00:20:23,750
shame upon shame…
253
00:20:23,833 --> 00:20:30,666
…as I go ahead and reveal my shallow,
insipid secret.
254
00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:32,458
Um…
255
00:20:34,750 --> 00:20:38,083
I know, um, that I'm young,
256
00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:42,500
and that we're in a youth culture,
and I have currency.
257
00:20:43,916 --> 00:20:46,083
But I'm scared that it's all…
258
00:20:47,666 --> 00:20:49,125
going to go away.
259
00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,291
All right.
260
00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,541
It will.
261
00:20:57,833 --> 00:20:59,750
Trust your elders.
262
00:21:04,583 --> 00:21:09,875
Right. But I know what it's like
to have somebody…
263
00:21:12,708 --> 00:21:14,625
analyze my body…
264
00:21:16,333 --> 00:21:18,708
Not out of lust or love, but…
265
00:21:20,458 --> 00:21:22,875
something reptilian in it.
266
00:21:23,791 --> 00:21:26,625
And sometimes I can't finish sentences,
267
00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:31,458
because I can't tell
if they're looking or listening.
268
00:21:34,416 --> 00:21:36,500
And I thought I would grow out of it, but…
269
00:21:37,875 --> 00:21:39,958
I like to write suicide notes.
270
00:21:42,625 --> 00:21:45,416
And I fantasize about my funeral.
271
00:21:48,500 --> 00:21:50,208
And in the f…
272
00:21:50,291 --> 00:21:51,750
In the fantasy,
273
00:21:52,875 --> 00:21:54,166
I'm young.
274
00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:59,541
And I don't know
what they're looking at, but I…
275
00:21:59,625 --> 00:22:01,708
I don't want it to disappear.
276
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,250
I'd rather be dead.
277
00:22:08,166 --> 00:22:09,541
That's my shame.
278
00:22:12,125 --> 00:22:13,458
I'm just…
279
00:22:15,708 --> 00:22:18,333
wondering, Beverly,
about these suicidal thoughts.
280
00:22:18,416 --> 00:22:22,291
Oh. No, I mean…
I have a while.
281
00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:25,250
Hmm. Well, this…
282
00:22:29,250 --> 00:22:31,916
This kind of illusion is, um…
283
00:22:41,416 --> 00:22:44,083
It… It's the kind that has, um…
284
00:22:46,916 --> 00:22:52,375
a built-in self-destruct mechanism. Okay?
285
00:22:53,666 --> 00:22:55,125
So this ship
286
00:22:56,208 --> 00:23:00,166
can only take you so far
before it obliterates itself.
287
00:23:00,250 --> 00:23:01,833
And me with it?
288
00:23:01,916 --> 00:23:04,333
No.
289
00:23:04,416 --> 00:23:08,250
No. You are the passenger,
not the vehicle.
290
00:23:08,333 --> 00:23:10,583
You are at an airport right now.
291
00:23:10,666 --> 00:23:13,958
You know your flight will crash.
Do not get on it.
292
00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:16,958
Do not get on it.
293
00:23:19,458 --> 00:23:20,541
-Yeah?
-Right. Okay.
294
00:23:20,625 --> 00:23:21,875
Although, sometimes…
295
00:23:21,958 --> 00:23:25,833
crashing… crashing has its…
296
00:23:27,250 --> 00:23:28,833
has its benefits.
297
00:23:31,750 --> 00:23:35,375
Okay. Is there anyone left, um,
298
00:23:35,458 --> 00:23:37,291
or have we all gone? We've all gone.
299
00:23:38,541 --> 00:23:40,333
She wasn't here this morning.
300
00:23:44,791 --> 00:23:46,000
Uh…
301
00:23:47,083 --> 00:23:49,916
Well… I mean…
302
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,416
I mean, after that,
I guess I'm kind of ashamed to be over 40.
303
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,875
It's not about you.
304
00:23:55,958 --> 00:23:58,083
Mm, no. Just, um…
305
00:23:58,791 --> 00:23:59,916
Well, you're young.
306
00:24:00,625 --> 00:24:02,250
You'll see how it feels one day.
307
00:24:04,041 --> 00:24:05,291
I'm…
308
00:24:05,375 --> 00:24:06,875
Unless you…
309
00:24:06,958 --> 00:24:09,208
-Kill myself?
-No.
310
00:24:09,291 --> 00:24:11,208
No, that's not what I meant.
311
00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:13,375
Uh…
312
00:24:17,708 --> 00:24:19,583
I mean, unless you're too enlightened.
313
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,750
Hmm.
314
00:24:22,833 --> 00:24:24,833
Okay. Would you like to come up?
315
00:24:26,583 --> 00:24:28,666
Mm. Okay. Sure.
316
00:24:29,541 --> 00:24:30,708
Thank you.
317
00:24:38,958 --> 00:24:40,750
Um…
318
00:24:40,833 --> 00:24:43,083
Well, my parents were always, uh,
319
00:24:43,833 --> 00:24:45,125
testing me for greatness
320
00:24:45,208 --> 00:24:47,791
when well, when they weren't…
321
00:24:48,750 --> 00:24:52,500
depressed or drinking all their money. Um…
322
00:24:53,458 --> 00:24:55,708
But that sharpened me, I think.
323
00:24:55,791 --> 00:24:58,041
I was sharp. Um…
324
00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:04,416
Maybe I'm only sharp in a cutting way now.
325
00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:08,791
Um, yeah, 'cause it used to feel
like it was going somewhere.
326
00:25:08,875 --> 00:25:11,666
You know, I played piano, and, um…
327
00:25:11,750 --> 00:25:15,125
I was on this television show,
when I was a teenager,
328
00:25:15,208 --> 00:25:17,583
as a warrior princess.
329
00:25:17,666 --> 00:25:19,541
I remember. Flora the Fierce.
330
00:25:19,625 --> 00:25:21,541
It was solid.
331
00:25:22,166 --> 00:25:23,833
Yeah. Thanks. Um…
332
00:25:30,875 --> 00:25:32,541
And my parents, um,
333
00:25:32,625 --> 00:25:35,833
they really wanted to be happy,
and they just weren't.
334
00:25:38,416 --> 00:25:40,625
Um, and…
335
00:25:40,708 --> 00:25:43,708
Well, I wanted to be happy too,
but I find it doesn't stick,
336
00:25:43,791 --> 00:25:45,083
so, um…
337
00:25:46,375 --> 00:25:48,958
I decided a long time ago that, um,
338
00:25:49,916 --> 00:25:53,416
maybe being happy isn't it,
maybe there's something more.
339
00:25:55,708 --> 00:25:58,958
I think I've lived in tandem
340
00:25:59,041 --> 00:26:01,916
with that "something more" ever since. Um…
341
00:26:03,916 --> 00:26:05,583
So maybe
342
00:26:05,666 --> 00:26:07,375
I'm ashamed that, um…
343
00:26:08,958 --> 00:26:10,583
after all this time,
344
00:26:12,500 --> 00:26:14,041
I'm still just in tandem.
345
00:26:14,958 --> 00:26:16,125
Yeah.
346
00:26:17,041 --> 00:26:18,833
And still just a…
347
00:26:18,916 --> 00:26:21,833
greedy, needy, lazy, paranoid
human living off the money
348
00:26:21,916 --> 00:26:24,666
I made from a character
that gave me an eating disorder.
349
00:26:26,125 --> 00:26:27,791
I hope I'm funny, but, um…
350
00:26:28,750 --> 00:26:30,041
I can be…
351
00:26:31,458 --> 00:26:32,583
Well, I'm mean.
352
00:26:37,125 --> 00:26:38,750
Well, sometimes I'm just a cunt.
353
00:26:51,208 --> 00:26:52,833
Does anyone relate to this?
354
00:27:22,750 --> 00:27:24,458
-Oh.
-Oh.
355
00:27:26,875 --> 00:27:31,083
Looks like you've discovered
my smoking corner.
356
00:27:33,416 --> 00:27:34,750
Guess I'm busted.
357
00:27:38,833 --> 00:27:40,625
Oh, you smoke?
358
00:27:40,708 --> 00:27:42,083
Mm.
359
00:27:43,583 --> 00:27:45,375
I'm not a monk, I'm enlightened.
360
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,291
Just one a week.
361
00:27:49,375 --> 00:27:52,416
Two puffs.
362
00:27:53,500 --> 00:27:54,708
I thought enlightened people
363
00:27:54,791 --> 00:27:57,041
weren't supposed to say
they were enlightened, though.
364
00:27:58,458 --> 00:28:00,583
Isn't that how us mere mortals can tell?
365
00:28:05,625 --> 00:28:06,791
I've seen nuns smoke.
366
00:28:10,916 --> 00:28:14,833
-I don't know.
-I feel… Hmm…
367
00:28:14,916 --> 00:28:17,041
You might as well enjoy it while it lasts.
368
00:28:20,083 --> 00:28:21,541
Enlightenment.
369
00:28:26,250 --> 00:28:27,625
Do you think it won't?
370
00:28:29,125 --> 00:28:30,750
I don't think.
371
00:28:39,500 --> 00:28:41,583
Oh, you're smiling
372
00:28:41,666 --> 00:28:43,208
a lot, actually.
373
00:28:44,416 --> 00:28:46,958
It changes your… your whole face. It's…
374
00:28:49,125 --> 00:28:50,333
It's wonderful.
375
00:29:15,083 --> 00:29:16,333
So…
376
00:29:18,625 --> 00:29:20,166
there is somebody.
377
00:29:26,291 --> 00:29:27,708
Or nobody.
378
00:29:32,208 --> 00:29:33,583
There's both.
379
00:29:36,083 --> 00:29:37,666
-Both?
-Yeah.
380
00:29:44,583 --> 00:29:45,916
Okay.
381
00:29:57,541 --> 00:29:59,000
How close have you been?
382
00:30:00,333 --> 00:30:01,625
Me?
383
00:30:03,416 --> 00:30:05,333
You said you feel like you were in tandem
384
00:30:05,416 --> 00:30:08,541
with something more, so how close?
385
00:30:09,916 --> 00:30:11,333
Oh, inseparable.
386
00:30:11,416 --> 00:30:13,333
But then, somehow, I'm separated.
387
00:30:13,416 --> 00:30:15,791
Well, you know, maybe it's both.
388
00:30:19,708 --> 00:30:21,666
Hmm…
389
00:30:21,750 --> 00:30:22,916
No.
390
00:30:25,666 --> 00:30:26,833
Maybe.
391
00:30:27,791 --> 00:30:30,666
Yeah, um, it's just,
392
00:30:30,750 --> 00:30:33,166
there's a knowing that
you're in another place
393
00:30:33,250 --> 00:30:35,208
that isn't the everyday.
394
00:30:35,291 --> 00:30:37,250
Why isn't it the everyday?
395
00:30:38,125 --> 00:30:40,916
I mean, isn't there room for all of it?
396
00:30:42,416 --> 00:30:45,583
It's enlightenment. It's… everything.
397
00:30:48,500 --> 00:30:49,833
Yeah, it is everything.
398
00:30:49,916 --> 00:30:51,416
At the same time,
399
00:30:52,500 --> 00:30:56,208
there's a difference between
actually being enlightened
400
00:30:56,291 --> 00:30:58,375
and, like, now.
401
00:30:58,458 --> 00:31:02,625
What's stopping you from
being enlightened right now?
402
00:31:02,708 --> 00:31:03,708
Mm.
403
00:31:04,583 --> 00:31:06,083
Are you enlightened right now?
404
00:31:07,583 --> 00:31:12,208
Yeah, I think even if I don't
have consciousness of it
405
00:31:12,291 --> 00:31:16,041
or, you know, the language,
maybe, to explain it
406
00:31:16,125 --> 00:31:18,458
in a way that's satisfying to you,
407
00:31:18,541 --> 00:31:23,250
I think, yeah, it could really
just be happening right now.
408
00:31:23,333 --> 00:31:24,791
Hmm.
409
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,625
Well, as someone who's been
on this path for a while,
410
00:31:28,708 --> 00:31:30,583
I mean, I'm only speaking for myself--
411
00:31:30,666 --> 00:31:32,791
We can all only speak for ourselves.
412
00:31:32,875 --> 00:31:35,333
Who else would you be speaking for?
413
00:31:35,416 --> 00:31:37,250
I am speaking for myself.
414
00:31:37,333 --> 00:31:39,916
-I'm just saying that…
-It is the nature of being.
415
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,250
…there have been moments where, um…
416
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:50,291
I have felt a true connection
to everything that is.
417
00:31:52,291 --> 00:31:54,500
You know? Moments, uh,
418
00:31:54,583 --> 00:31:58,875
where I have been
so supremely shaken and held,
419
00:31:58,958 --> 00:32:02,125
um, that were both, um…
420
00:32:05,500 --> 00:32:06,916
…inevitable
421
00:32:08,083 --> 00:32:09,666
and miraculous.
422
00:32:09,750 --> 00:32:12,333
But you know that it's not the everyday,
423
00:32:12,416 --> 00:32:14,041
and you know that it isn't maybe.
424
00:32:14,125 --> 00:32:16,333
This is what I'm saying.
425
00:32:16,416 --> 00:32:18,375
Both!
426
00:32:18,458 --> 00:32:21,666
I mean, that's what Elon just said
in class, and you're repeating it.
427
00:32:21,750 --> 00:32:23,250
But I'm saying it now.
428
00:32:23,333 --> 00:32:26,458
-Both of us are saying it.
-Yes. Yes, you are.
429
00:32:28,250 --> 00:32:29,791
So do you feel like
430
00:32:29,875 --> 00:32:32,791
the dissatisfaction comes from inside you?
431
00:32:37,541 --> 00:32:38,750
Yes.
432
00:32:41,291 --> 00:32:42,291
Mm.
433
00:32:43,458 --> 00:32:46,541
Well, it sounds like you know
what you need to work on, then.
434
00:32:52,083 --> 00:32:53,958
No more.
435
00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:20,458
What are you doing outside of your…
436
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,125
-Well, I just…
-…warm haven?
437
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:24,666
My eye was drawn. Yup.
438
00:33:26,375 --> 00:33:28,625
-Are you cold?
-Uh…
439
00:33:28,708 --> 00:33:30,333
I mean…
440
00:33:30,416 --> 00:33:32,166
-We can go sit in the old…
-…snow.
441
00:33:32,250 --> 00:33:33,750
…sit in the thing, if you want.
442
00:33:33,833 --> 00:33:35,625
Oh.
443
00:33:35,708 --> 00:33:39,125
That's, that's, um… That's really nice.
444
00:33:39,208 --> 00:33:40,583
We're not supp…
445
00:33:41,625 --> 00:33:43,833
We're not allowed…
446
00:33:43,916 --> 00:33:48,083
-…to go in the actors' trailers.
-Oh, I won't tell anyone.
447
00:33:49,875 --> 00:33:53,125
-The offer's there.
-Thank you. So it's that way, huh?
448
00:33:53,208 --> 00:33:54,375
Yeah.
449
00:33:54,458 --> 00:33:57,916
Yeah. Or are
you just going to the Portaloo?
450
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,708
Um… Cool.
451
00:34:36,333 --> 00:34:37,458
Boss?
452
00:34:39,708 --> 00:34:41,166
Oh, yep, all right.
453
00:34:41,250 --> 00:34:43,208
Yeah, hey.
454
00:34:43,291 --> 00:34:44,666
All right, I give up. Okay.
455
00:34:44,750 --> 00:34:46,500
You have to take him.
He's so fucking bored.
456
00:34:46,583 --> 00:34:47,666
I know he is.
457
00:34:47,750 --> 00:34:48,958
-He's so annoying.
-Jay?
458
00:34:49,041 --> 00:34:50,750
-Yes?
-We're out. Let's go.
459
00:34:50,833 --> 00:34:52,666
All right. You're heading out?
460
00:34:52,750 --> 00:34:54,291
-Eh?
-Right, then.
461
00:34:55,250 --> 00:34:56,791
-Oh.
-All right.
462
00:34:56,875 --> 00:34:59,833
-I haven't got my shit.
-You don't need your shit.
463
00:34:59,916 --> 00:35:02,083
Just take your legs.
464
00:35:02,166 --> 00:35:03,833
Are you sure?
465
00:35:20,791 --> 00:35:22,708
I have nothing to say to you.
466
00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:26,875
That's a good thing, yeah?
467
00:36:12,708 --> 00:36:14,208
What are you sensing?
468
00:36:17,916 --> 00:36:19,000
What?
469
00:36:43,416 --> 00:36:45,958
You really are
a disgusting specimen.
470
00:36:47,500 --> 00:36:50,250
They leave you alone 'cause you smell.
471
00:36:53,791 --> 00:36:56,125
You think you're gonna
get away from me?
472
00:36:57,833 --> 00:36:59,541
You won't.
473
00:36:59,625 --> 00:37:01,666
I am you.
474
00:37:27,416 --> 00:37:28,708
Morning.
475
00:37:33,958 --> 00:37:35,166
How did you sleep?
476
00:37:36,333 --> 00:37:37,583
Hmm.
477
00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:40,875
Dreams.
478
00:37:42,583 --> 00:37:44,458
How did you sleep?
479
00:37:44,541 --> 00:37:47,416
Well.
480
00:37:47,500 --> 00:37:48,666
Very well.
481
00:37:54,250 --> 00:37:55,541
What did you dream?
482
00:37:57,208 --> 00:37:59,125
That I was a piece of shit.
483
00:38:03,833 --> 00:38:06,500
Oh, naughty mind, naughty mind.
484
00:38:10,750 --> 00:38:11,833
Remember…
485
00:38:13,666 --> 00:38:15,125
Don't think, Lucy.
486
00:38:22,916 --> 00:38:24,458
Go into the anger.
487
00:38:25,791 --> 00:38:26,916
What's there?
488
00:38:33,458 --> 00:38:35,291
More fear.
489
00:38:35,375 --> 00:38:37,000
Okay. Stay with the fear.
490
00:38:40,625 --> 00:38:41,833
Really stay…
491
00:38:43,541 --> 00:38:44,625
with the fear.
492
00:38:46,583 --> 00:38:48,333
Stay.
493
00:38:51,125 --> 00:38:52,333
What's there?
494
00:38:55,083 --> 00:38:57,375
-Space.
-Mm.
495
00:38:58,958 --> 00:39:00,833
-Interesting.
-Mm.
496
00:39:05,250 --> 00:39:06,333
Thank you.
497
00:39:14,708 --> 00:39:16,791
Is there anyone else?
498
00:39:22,875 --> 00:39:26,125
Um…
499
00:39:26,208 --> 00:39:28,625
Last night, I…
500
00:39:28,708 --> 00:39:33,791
I felt like I was being
poured out of a vessel, and…
501
00:39:33,875 --> 00:39:37,875
I was terrified, but that was
also pouring out of me.
502
00:39:39,083 --> 00:39:40,791
And it was like…
503
00:39:40,875 --> 00:39:43,083
…froth?
504
00:39:43,166 --> 00:39:46,750
And it was all,
like, mixing together,
505
00:39:46,833 --> 00:39:49,541
and I was mixing together,
and I became, like…
506
00:39:49,625 --> 00:39:50,958
A café latte.
507
00:39:51,041 --> 00:39:52,958
I don't know how to explain it.
508
00:39:53,041 --> 00:39:55,458
You can't explain peace, Beverly.
Just enjoy it.
509
00:39:56,916 --> 00:39:58,333
Show the group your face.
510
00:40:08,750 --> 00:40:11,458
What's awake in you can catch like a cold.
511
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:14,625
Mm.
512
00:40:14,708 --> 00:40:16,333
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
513
00:40:18,291 --> 00:40:20,958
-Oh, thank you, Beverly.
-Thank you!
514
00:40:22,166 --> 00:40:24,500
A lot of peace
in the room this morning.
515
00:40:24,583 --> 00:40:27,583
So beautiful, isn't it?
516
00:40:35,750 --> 00:40:38,166
In order to avoid confusion
with other seekers,
517
00:40:38,250 --> 00:40:40,083
I like to call this exercise
518
00:40:40,166 --> 00:40:42,333
"newborn again."
519
00:40:48,500 --> 00:40:50,583
So, each of you, find a partner, please,
520
00:40:51,875 --> 00:40:55,125
and let your heart open
to the gravitational pull of the other.
521
00:40:56,708 --> 00:40:57,875
That's it.
522
00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:01,125
Everyone found a partner?
523
00:41:05,875 --> 00:41:07,583
There's an odd number.
524
00:41:07,666 --> 00:41:09,416
Uh, I can sit out.
525
00:41:09,500 --> 00:41:10,625
No, it's okay.
526
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,375
Oh!
527
00:41:21,333 --> 00:41:23,125
Let the snogging begin.
528
00:41:23,208 --> 00:41:25,583
-Elon!
-No, I'm joking.
529
00:41:25,666 --> 00:41:28,166
I'm very much joking. Sorry. Sorry.
530
00:41:28,250 --> 00:41:31,750
No, really, um, what we're doing here
is not quite that.
531
00:41:31,833 --> 00:41:35,250
So, if everyone faces… the misty mountain.
532
00:41:36,500 --> 00:41:40,000
Now, everyone on the right
is a new mother,
533
00:41:40,083 --> 00:41:41,583
and everyone else is a baby.
534
00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:43,791
So, new mothers, grab a blanket.
535
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,916
-Babies, you can't walk or talk.
-Mm.
536
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,625
…nor do you have
control of your necks.
537
00:41:51,708 --> 00:41:54,166
Mothers, your babies need swaddling,
538
00:41:55,250 --> 00:41:58,500
and this is going to be
the next hour of your life.
539
00:41:58,583 --> 00:42:01,000
Sounds fun.
540
00:42:01,083 --> 00:42:03,958
Um…
I think you're the mother, actually,
541
00:42:04,041 --> 00:42:05,583
'cause you're on the right side.
542
00:42:05,666 --> 00:42:07,375
Oh. I'll be the mom…
543
00:42:07,458 --> 00:42:10,250
Babies, this is
your chance to feel freely.
544
00:42:10,333 --> 00:42:11,875
There is no expectation on you.
545
00:42:11,958 --> 00:42:14,375
Mothers, you will not be using
an existing language
546
00:42:14,458 --> 00:42:19,375
to soothe your child,
but a made-up language too. Okay?
547
00:42:19,458 --> 00:42:23,458
Your babies are gonna want things
they don't even know they want yet.
548
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,416
Okay?
549
00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:27,375
Oh, and mothers,
you may whisper to each other
550
00:42:27,458 --> 00:42:29,250
once every quarter hour
551
00:42:29,333 --> 00:42:32,375
in, um, English
or a tongue of your choice.
552
00:42:32,458 --> 00:42:33,416
Okay.
553
00:42:38,625 --> 00:42:40,500
Thank you, Mark. Thank you.
554
00:42:51,416 --> 00:42:53,166
Baby bo-bo-boop-boop!
555
00:42:54,250 --> 00:42:56,666
Did baby do a poo-poo?
556
00:42:58,083 --> 00:42:59,458
Petunia?
557
00:43:00,458 --> 00:43:04,208
-I think my baby did a--
-I did not poo!
558
00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,416
-Please!
-No, no, no, no, no!
559
00:44:12,500 --> 00:44:17,041
Please! Please!
560
00:44:17,125 --> 00:44:18,541
Please stop.
561
00:44:34,333 --> 00:44:36,041
Um, babies…
562
00:44:36,125 --> 00:44:37,750
Please stop.
563
00:44:37,833 --> 00:44:39,166
…it's time to find
564
00:44:40,458 --> 00:44:41,583
a baby…
565
00:44:43,875 --> 00:44:45,291
who's not your mother…
566
00:44:48,666 --> 00:44:50,875
Babies, find a baby, not your mother.
567
00:45:29,166 --> 00:45:31,583
Now, mothers,
568
00:45:32,791 --> 00:45:34,125
find your mother,
569
00:45:36,083 --> 00:45:38,375
and tell her exactly what you mean to say.
570
00:45:44,791 --> 00:45:46,916
Okay? Find your mothers…
571
00:45:48,625 --> 00:45:51,000
and tell them exactly
what you mean to say.
572
00:45:56,541 --> 00:45:58,958
Find your mother, okay?
573
00:46:01,166 --> 00:46:03,458
Whatever you're telling yourself
is a lie.
574
00:46:03,541 --> 00:46:05,375
I fuck who I want.
575
00:46:11,375 --> 00:46:12,375
Just do it.
576
00:46:12,458 --> 00:46:13,916
He's a cancer.
577
00:46:16,666 --> 00:46:18,583
-What?
-Um…
578
00:46:18,666 --> 00:46:20,583
Okay. Sorry. I…
579
00:46:20,666 --> 00:46:21,708
I'm your mom.
580
00:46:22,583 --> 00:46:24,625
Just do what?
581
00:46:27,500 --> 00:46:30,416
Just… kill yourself.
582
00:46:38,500 --> 00:46:39,916
Beverly.
583
00:46:41,375 --> 00:46:42,791
Beverly?
584
00:46:45,791 --> 00:46:47,250
Beverly, I didn't mean you.
585
00:46:48,291 --> 00:46:50,208
-Beverly!
-No. No, no.
586
00:46:50,291 --> 00:46:52,250
-Don't follow me!
-Listen to me.
587
00:46:53,500 --> 00:46:54,791
I meant my mother.
588
00:46:54,875 --> 00:46:56,041
I don't care.
589
00:46:56,125 --> 00:46:57,916
I meant my mom.
590
00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,250
You're all pain.
591
00:46:59,333 --> 00:47:00,958
And I tried to get to know you,
592
00:47:01,041 --> 00:47:03,291
because I have
a resistance to you, but no.
593
00:47:03,375 --> 00:47:05,833
You are a toxic fucking nightmare.
594
00:47:07,666 --> 00:47:09,166
Stay away from me!
595
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:12,583
Well, enjoy your room!
596
00:47:15,250 --> 00:47:16,708
I hear it's a good one!
597
00:47:53,208 --> 00:47:56,125
It is what you have known
598
00:47:56,208 --> 00:47:58,041
that has brought you here,
599
00:48:00,958 --> 00:48:02,375
to the precipice.
600
00:48:06,958 --> 00:48:08,416
In this chapter, we will explore…
601
00:48:09,666 --> 00:48:11,583
…the final frontier of the mind…
602
00:48:12,750 --> 00:48:16,750
…and what, for the ego,
can seem like disaster…
603
00:48:19,041 --> 00:48:23,333
…or even annihilation.
604
00:48:36,708 --> 00:48:38,291
No more.
605
00:48:42,333 --> 00:48:44,083
I get it.
606
00:48:44,166 --> 00:48:45,250
I'm nothing.
607
00:49:03,875 --> 00:49:05,125
10,000.
608
00:49:07,250 --> 00:49:09,458
9,999.
609
00:49:11,666 --> 00:49:14,333
9,998.
610
00:49:16,208 --> 00:49:18,666
9,997.
611
00:49:23,750 --> 00:49:25,541
Elon!
612
00:49:25,625 --> 00:49:28,125
-Yes, Petunia?
-Can I get you anything?
613
00:49:30,541 --> 00:49:32,791
No, thank you, Petunia.
I'm perfectly well in here.
614
00:49:32,875 --> 00:49:34,125
Okay.
615
00:49:43,250 --> 00:49:44,375
Elon?
616
00:49:45,458 --> 00:49:48,291
You never tell the story
of how it happened any more…
617
00:49:49,750 --> 00:49:51,250
your awakening.
618
00:49:52,416 --> 00:49:53,916
No.
619
00:49:57,250 --> 00:49:59,125
Is that a permanent decision?
620
00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:04,166
People focus on it too much.
621
00:50:04,875 --> 00:50:05,916
It won't help.
622
00:50:06,916 --> 00:50:08,291
Would you tell me again?
623
00:50:10,958 --> 00:50:12,125
No.
624
00:50:13,916 --> 00:50:16,416
It won't help you, Petunia.
625
00:50:16,500 --> 00:50:18,500
Fair enough.
626
00:50:19,666 --> 00:50:21,166
It's just a story.
627
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:19,041
Yes.
628
00:51:37,375 --> 00:51:38,541
Don't try so hard.
629
00:51:38,625 --> 00:51:40,708
Okay.
630
00:51:40,791 --> 00:51:43,583
Sorry.
631
00:51:43,666 --> 00:51:46,041
Ah, okay. Hmm.
632
00:51:46,125 --> 00:51:47,333
-Don't edit.
-Hmm.
633
00:51:47,416 --> 00:51:49,000
-Don't try.
-Okay.
634
00:51:49,083 --> 00:51:50,541
You are not broken.
635
00:51:52,416 --> 00:51:53,708
You are enough.
636
00:52:06,041 --> 00:52:07,250
How do you know?
637
00:52:10,125 --> 00:52:13,458
I just…
638
00:52:13,541 --> 00:52:15,000
I just know.
639
00:52:16,291 --> 00:52:17,958
Mm, I hope you're right.
640
00:52:20,541 --> 00:52:22,791
'Cause I wasn't enough for my mother…
641
00:52:25,541 --> 00:52:27,791
or the father of my child
642
00:52:27,875 --> 00:52:29,333
or my child.
643
00:52:33,166 --> 00:52:34,500
In what way? What's--
644
00:52:34,583 --> 00:52:36,125
What's the story?
645
00:52:36,208 --> 00:52:39,083
To stay alive for.
646
00:52:44,333 --> 00:52:45,875
To stay with.
647
00:52:51,375 --> 00:52:54,583
My child, she still wants something.
648
00:52:54,666 --> 00:52:57,750
And I don't know what it is.
649
00:52:57,833 --> 00:52:59,958
And I'm scared…
650
00:53:03,041 --> 00:53:06,250
…that I just don't have it.
651
00:53:08,750 --> 00:53:09,750
So…
652
00:53:14,500 --> 00:53:15,541
I hope you're right.
653
00:53:15,625 --> 00:53:17,291
Don't hope!
654
00:53:18,541 --> 00:53:20,125
Don't hope!
655
00:53:23,083 --> 00:53:24,000
Be!
656
00:53:28,750 --> 00:53:30,875
Never
657
00:53:30,958 --> 00:53:33,333
ever
658
00:53:33,416 --> 00:53:34,708
give in to hope.
659
00:53:40,250 --> 00:53:41,250
Just be.
660
00:53:53,875 --> 00:53:55,083
Do you want some water?
661
00:54:14,375 --> 00:54:18,875
I just want to thank Elon
and… and everyone. Um…
662
00:54:18,958 --> 00:54:20,375
I feel giddy.
663
00:54:21,958 --> 00:54:25,208
And Beverly, your face…
664
00:54:25,291 --> 00:54:26,291
Thank you.
665
00:54:45,041 --> 00:54:49,083
I don't know
what's gonna happen next,
666
00:54:49,166 --> 00:54:50,583
but I've surrendered to it.
667
00:54:54,083 --> 00:54:55,125
It's like…
668
00:54:56,750 --> 00:55:00,000
I'm talking, but what I'm saying…
669
00:55:01,500 --> 00:55:03,041
might as well be nothing.
670
00:55:07,541 --> 00:55:09,333
Nothing
671
00:55:09,416 --> 00:55:10,500
might be better.
672
00:55:15,958 --> 00:55:17,166
Maybe I have…
673
00:55:18,333 --> 00:55:21,125
Maybe I have nothing to say.
674
00:55:24,458 --> 00:55:27,416
Why don't you
shut the fuck up, then?
675
00:55:28,416 --> 00:55:30,416
No. No
676
00:55:30,500 --> 00:55:31,708
No!
677
00:55:31,791 --> 00:55:34,041
Whoa!
678
00:55:42,208 --> 00:55:43,750
Oh, my God!
679
00:55:43,833 --> 00:55:46,208
No surrender!
680
00:55:47,958 --> 00:55:49,458
-I know--
-No more!
681
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:53,416
Get her!
682
00:55:53,500 --> 00:55:54,416
No!
683
00:55:56,250 --> 00:55:58,000
There's blood, lots of blood!
684
00:55:59,833 --> 00:56:02,416
She could have concussion,
or a spinal!
685
00:56:04,125 --> 00:56:05,250
Oh, my God!
686
00:56:05,333 --> 00:56:08,416
You know what, Dion?
Maybe you should kill your dad.
687
00:56:09,958 --> 00:56:12,000
He sounds like a real asshole.
688
00:56:15,750 --> 00:56:17,166
Shut the fuck up.
689
00:56:34,583 --> 00:56:36,208
Have you seen Elon?
690
00:56:38,583 --> 00:56:41,166
No, she's the bad one.
It's a citizen's arrest.
691
00:56:41,250 --> 00:56:43,750
Citizen's arrests
are not a real thing.
692
00:56:43,833 --> 00:56:45,708
Okay, ten steps back.
693
00:56:45,791 --> 00:56:47,750
This is a crime scene. We need to process.
694
00:56:56,583 --> 00:56:58,541
She wants me to carry her to the car.
695
00:57:02,458 --> 00:57:04,708
I'll go quietly if he carries me.
696
00:57:06,916 --> 00:57:10,791
Otherwise, I'll pee my pants
and shit myself if I can,
697
00:57:11,875 --> 00:57:13,833
and that smell will be in your car.
698
00:57:15,583 --> 00:57:17,500
Elon!
699
00:57:17,583 --> 00:57:18,791
I think she means it.
700
00:58:33,083 --> 00:58:34,625
Are we there yet?
701
00:58:44,708 --> 00:58:46,041
Are we there yet?
702
00:59:01,958 --> 00:59:03,375
Bless you.
703
00:59:18,958 --> 00:59:21,000
Grab, and turn.
704
00:59:22,666 --> 00:59:24,208
Smash. Throw the arm.
705
00:59:24,291 --> 00:59:26,458
Okay.
706
00:59:26,541 --> 00:59:28,583
Stab, and grab.
707
00:59:30,083 --> 00:59:31,250
Smash.
708
00:59:31,333 --> 00:59:33,083
All right, one more, one more. Oops. No.
709
00:59:33,166 --> 00:59:34,708
My bad. Sorry.
710
00:59:34,791 --> 00:59:38,208
And three, two, one, action!
711
00:59:59,916 --> 01:00:01,291
Wrong hand. Wrong hand. Wrong ha--
712
01:00:02,041 --> 01:00:04,083
Oh, shit!
713
01:00:04,166 --> 01:00:06,291
Dylan! Dylan!
714
01:00:08,333 --> 01:00:10,750
-Anyone got eyes on her?
-I can't see her.
715
01:00:10,833 --> 01:00:14,375
Let's get some riggers down there.
Let's go, please. Dylan, talk to me!
716
01:00:16,125 --> 01:00:18,166
Dylan!
717
01:00:18,250 --> 01:00:20,125
Dylan, talk to me!
718
01:00:21,875 --> 01:00:24,416
Uh, we've got a head injury,
concussion, GCS 12.
719
01:00:24,500 --> 01:00:27,208
Yeah, at Paradise Hills.
720
01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:28,916
At the film set.
721
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:31,208
No. Jeneane.
722
01:00:31,291 --> 01:00:32,541
Give me one of those, please.
723
01:00:32,625 --> 01:00:34,375
-For crying out loud!
-Thank you.
724
01:00:34,458 --> 01:00:35,708
It'll kill you too.
725
01:00:35,791 --> 01:00:38,500
Not if I don't
crush my brain with blood
726
01:00:38,583 --> 01:00:40,500
from the inside first.
727
01:00:51,916 --> 01:00:53,625
Oh!
728
01:00:53,708 --> 01:00:56,041
Hey.
729
01:00:56,125 --> 01:00:58,708
-I wanna kill myself.
-No.
730
01:00:58,791 --> 01:01:00,000
No.
731
01:01:00,083 --> 01:01:02,333
Sorry I can't move. I'm not allowed.
732
01:01:02,416 --> 01:01:04,208
Well, I don't wanna hurt you more.
733
01:01:04,291 --> 01:01:06,583
I think you're being dramatic.
734
01:01:06,666 --> 01:01:08,208
It was like a dream.
735
01:01:08,291 --> 01:01:10,416
You don't know why you like it,
but you do.
736
01:01:11,875 --> 01:01:13,083
It's so strange.
737
01:01:14,375 --> 01:01:16,000
You're strange.
738
01:01:24,541 --> 01:01:26,625
-I'll come check on you later.
-Okay.
739
01:01:33,250 --> 01:01:35,166
When she fell, I was so worried.
740
01:01:35,250 --> 01:01:36,541
She still has the wig on.
741
01:01:36,625 --> 01:01:38,875
You'll have to see
if they'll let you in the ambulance.
742
01:01:38,958 --> 01:01:41,458
Well, I could just take
the pins out and lift it gently.
743
01:01:41,541 --> 01:01:43,500
No, I don't want anyone touching her head.
744
01:01:43,583 --> 01:01:46,375
-Don't you guys do spare wigs?
-She is the spare.
745
01:01:47,791 --> 01:01:49,875
So this is gonna be
all about rest,
746
01:01:49,958 --> 01:01:53,291
that's no phones,
no screens and no alcohol.
747
01:01:53,375 --> 01:01:54,666
Um…
748
01:01:54,750 --> 01:01:55,916
Meditation can be good.
749
01:01:56,000 --> 01:01:59,375
And the concussion clinic's
gonna fill you in with the details.
750
01:02:01,833 --> 01:02:04,541
Oh, no blackouts
at the halfway party, then.
751
01:02:04,625 --> 01:02:06,583
Boring.
752
01:02:07,541 --> 01:02:09,750
I love seeing who has surprise partners.
753
01:02:11,541 --> 01:02:13,208
You don't act like you've got someone.
754
01:02:13,291 --> 01:02:16,416
-Uh-uh. No, I don't.
-Oh, good for you.
755
01:02:18,875 --> 01:02:20,625
Elmore's girlfriend's coming.
756
01:02:22,041 --> 01:02:23,833
Apparently, she's really nice.
757
01:02:23,916 --> 01:02:26,666
Though, I never trust nice, eh?
758
01:02:26,750 --> 01:02:30,250
Do you? Like, what even is nice?
759
01:02:30,333 --> 01:02:32,041
Hang on, I'm just gonna…
760
01:02:32,125 --> 01:02:34,541
Okay. All right. Let's hurry, then.
761
01:02:35,333 --> 01:02:37,958
Sorry. No, not you.
You don't hurry. Take your time.
762
01:02:38,041 --> 01:02:41,208
Um… I think… I'm gonna walk.
763
01:02:42,583 --> 01:02:44,416
-Really?
-Yeah, I'm gonna walk.
764
01:02:44,500 --> 01:02:46,708
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, I feel like it.
765
01:02:47,750 --> 01:02:51,250
Okay. Don't hit your face.
766
01:02:51,333 --> 01:02:53,083
I think your phone's ringing.
767
01:02:54,250 --> 01:02:55,666
Okay.
768
01:03:03,875 --> 01:03:04,916
Dad?
769
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,625
Dylan,
have you heard from your mom?
770
01:03:07,708 --> 01:03:09,166
No, uh…
771
01:03:11,083 --> 01:03:15,708
No, I haven't heard from her.
She's in the US on some retreat
772
01:03:15,791 --> 01:03:18,666
-and doesn't wanna be dis--
-Dylan, she's in jail.
773
01:03:18,750 --> 01:03:19,916
She's gone to jail.
774
01:03:22,708 --> 01:03:25,625
She hit a DJ with a chair, apparently.
775
01:03:25,708 --> 01:03:27,375
Mom did what?
776
01:03:52,916 --> 01:03:55,541
-Hello there.
-Hello there.
777
01:03:55,625 --> 01:03:57,208
-Lucy?
-Yes.
778
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,083
I'm your public defender, Leonard Gow.
779
01:04:03,750 --> 01:04:07,875
You can call me Leo,
like the star sign, if you like.
780
01:04:07,958 --> 01:04:09,708
Is it your star sign?
781
01:04:09,791 --> 01:04:11,958
Um, no. It's Virgo.
782
01:04:12,708 --> 01:04:14,833
Why? What does it mean?
783
01:04:14,916 --> 01:04:17,958
Nothing.
784
01:04:18,041 --> 01:04:19,458
What do you want it to mean?
785
01:04:20,208 --> 01:04:23,458
That I'm… special.
786
01:04:24,625 --> 01:04:26,000
You're very special.
787
01:04:26,083 --> 01:04:28,875
My mom was always
saying so.
788
01:04:29,625 --> 01:04:31,333
So, uh, Lucy,
789
01:04:32,833 --> 01:04:34,958
we have your arraignment in 15 minutes.
790
01:04:37,291 --> 01:04:38,541
You wanna go to prison?
791
01:04:42,958 --> 01:04:45,916
So, what, you're thinking
you're going to play Gandhi, are you?
792
01:04:48,125 --> 01:04:49,250
Nelson Mandela?
793
01:04:51,416 --> 01:04:54,541
A middle-aged white lady
who hit a model with a chair.
794
01:04:54,625 --> 01:04:56,083
She's not just a model.
795
01:04:57,125 --> 01:05:00,500
She's also a DJ
and actually a very annoying person.
796
01:05:07,958 --> 01:05:09,250
Can I ask you something?
797
01:05:09,916 --> 01:05:11,041
Sure.
798
01:05:12,833 --> 01:05:14,583
Do I remind you of your mommy?
799
01:05:19,666 --> 01:05:21,000
A bit, actually.
800
01:05:23,583 --> 01:05:24,750
Is she dead?
801
01:05:31,750 --> 01:05:34,041
Yes.
802
01:05:35,583 --> 01:05:36,833
How did you know?
803
01:05:38,666 --> 01:05:39,958
'Cause I'm dead too.
804
01:05:44,458 --> 01:05:47,208
She could whistle so loud
it would burst your eardrums.
805
01:05:48,708 --> 01:05:49,916
Big laugh.
806
01:05:51,666 --> 01:05:53,291
Was always very honest.
807
01:05:56,583 --> 01:05:58,583
I bet she wasn't entirely honest.
808
01:06:03,750 --> 01:06:04,916
How do you wanna plead?
809
01:06:09,958 --> 01:06:11,833
I don't feel guilty.
810
01:06:16,583 --> 01:06:18,708
-You almost killed her.
-But you did…
811
01:06:18,791 --> 01:06:21,875
But it was a really fucking
good punch, by the way.
812
01:06:24,666 --> 01:06:27,250
-Dyl Pickle, hi.
-Came to check on you.
813
01:06:27,333 --> 01:06:29,166
-Came…
-I… Um…
814
01:06:30,083 --> 01:06:32,708
You look… Okay.
815
01:06:35,791 --> 01:06:37,541
Yeah, I think…
816
01:06:38,666 --> 01:06:40,375
Well, I thought I was doing really well,
817
01:06:40,458 --> 01:06:43,041
but I think I might be at
quite a low point in my life.
818
01:06:49,083 --> 01:06:50,208
Oh.
819
01:07:16,875 --> 01:07:18,041
Are you open?
820
01:07:20,041 --> 01:07:23,291
Like, as a person or…
821
01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:27,000
Uh, no. Are you…
822
01:07:29,125 --> 01:07:31,333
Are you in an open relationship?
823
01:07:35,583 --> 01:07:36,666
No.
824
01:07:41,208 --> 01:07:42,250
Mom.
825
01:07:42,333 --> 01:07:44,250
Hi. I don't listen to these.
826
01:07:48,750 --> 01:07:51,625
I feel so bad!
827
01:07:56,666 --> 01:08:00,083
You're so cute. You're not as cute.
828
01:08:00,166 --> 01:08:01,916
You're not as cute.
829
01:08:02,000 --> 01:08:04,416
You're so cute. You're so cute.
830
01:08:04,500 --> 01:08:07,041
You're cute too. You're a little bit cute.
831
01:08:42,125 --> 01:08:43,208
Say it.
832
01:08:45,416 --> 01:08:46,750
They're letting you go.
833
01:08:55,125 --> 01:08:56,375
Have you heard things?
834
01:08:57,625 --> 01:08:58,625
Heard what?
835
01:09:02,291 --> 01:09:03,875
-Hey.
-Nothing.
836
01:09:09,916 --> 01:09:11,208
Go to bed, Dyl.
837
01:09:14,541 --> 01:09:16,166
Don't tell me what to do.
838
01:09:39,875 --> 01:09:41,041
Sorry.
839
01:09:54,458 --> 01:09:57,166
That looks like a weapon.
Can I take a look?
840
01:09:58,291 --> 01:10:01,375
It's, um… It's just… It's a walking stick.
841
01:10:01,458 --> 01:10:03,000
Just goes with my…
842
01:10:06,166 --> 01:10:07,583
It's just a stick.
843
01:10:08,750 --> 01:10:09,875
Hmm.
844
01:10:10,458 --> 01:10:11,625
Thank you.
845
01:10:19,458 --> 01:10:20,958
Oh, fuck.
846
01:10:21,041 --> 01:10:22,458
Wake up. Wake up.
847
01:10:22,541 --> 01:10:24,250
Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.
848
01:10:24,333 --> 01:10:25,875
Wake up.
849
01:10:25,958 --> 01:10:27,208
I'm sorry.
850
01:10:37,833 --> 01:10:39,833
Welcome aboard Armstrong Airways.
851
01:10:41,041 --> 01:10:43,083
If evacuating the aircraft,
852
01:10:43,166 --> 01:10:46,333
passengers are required to leave
all personal baggage behind.
853
01:10:47,250 --> 01:10:49,166
All of it.
854
01:10:49,250 --> 01:10:51,916
In the unlikely case of an emergency,
855
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,875
if you are experiencing panic,
856
01:10:53,958 --> 01:10:56,000
try panicking on your own a little first.
857
01:10:57,333 --> 01:11:00,208
And if the plane does make
an unexpected landing,
858
01:11:00,291 --> 01:11:02,875
remember to never give in to hope.
859
01:11:08,750 --> 01:11:10,000
Excuse me.
860
01:11:10,083 --> 01:11:13,125
I don't mean to disturb you,
but the plane is crashing.
861
01:11:15,708 --> 01:11:18,041
There might be
something we could do.
862
01:11:19,750 --> 01:11:22,541
-What?
-We could… kiss?
863
01:11:27,500 --> 01:11:28,916
I'm stuck!
864
01:11:39,166 --> 01:11:40,541
Mom?
865
01:11:45,458 --> 01:11:47,958
Could I have some chips, please?
866
01:12:15,125 --> 01:12:17,333
-No. Get out, please! Please!
-Beverly, come on.
867
01:12:17,416 --> 01:12:20,208
-Mom's here to see you.
-Get rid of her! Get out!
868
01:12:28,500 --> 01:12:31,541
It's not her frickin' birthday,
she's on trial. Fuck!
869
01:13:18,458 --> 01:13:19,750
Mom.
870
01:13:24,250 --> 01:13:25,541
What are you doing here?
871
01:13:27,791 --> 01:13:29,875
I'm here to support you.
872
01:13:34,041 --> 01:13:35,208
I'm all right.
873
01:13:37,166 --> 01:13:38,375
Yeah, I'm okay.
874
01:13:39,541 --> 01:13:41,958
Um, I have my lawyer.
875
01:13:42,041 --> 01:13:43,666
He's very nice. Um…
876
01:13:46,333 --> 01:13:49,083
He thinks I'm lovely, like his mommy.
Could you imagine?
877
01:13:52,458 --> 01:13:54,291
Um, I got you a present.
878
01:13:59,250 --> 01:14:00,291
Thank you.
879
01:14:12,416 --> 01:14:15,375
Can I get a room, please? The cheapest?
880
01:14:15,458 --> 01:14:17,083
Oh.
881
01:14:17,166 --> 01:14:19,125
We're fully booked by the wedding.
882
01:14:46,083 --> 01:14:48,625
Can I stay in your room tonight, please?
883
01:14:51,541 --> 01:14:52,958
Of course, my darling.
884
01:14:58,083 --> 01:14:59,458
You look like a pirate.
885
01:15:03,375 --> 01:15:05,083
That one's mine.
886
01:15:14,500 --> 01:15:15,625
You want a hug?
887
01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:28,333
Was it an accident?
888
01:15:41,041 --> 01:15:42,083
You gonna hurt me?
889
01:15:42,166 --> 01:15:43,583
Haven't I already?
890
01:15:58,041 --> 01:15:59,291
Do you regret it?
891
01:16:01,166 --> 01:16:02,625
I don't know, Dylan.
892
01:16:05,333 --> 01:16:07,958
It just felt right in the moment.
893
01:16:11,458 --> 01:16:13,166
Well, violence is not the answer.
894
01:16:14,125 --> 01:16:15,791
It's not what I was looking for.
895
01:16:18,333 --> 01:16:19,958
Your job's very violent.
896
01:16:20,041 --> 01:16:21,791
It's not real. It's pretend.
897
01:16:22,583 --> 01:16:23,750
Doesn't look pretend.
898
01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:28,666
It doesn't solve anything.
899
01:16:28,750 --> 01:16:30,083
Okay, well…
900
01:16:30,166 --> 01:16:32,375
You smell. You should have a shower.
901
01:16:37,750 --> 01:16:39,000
Mom, be serious.
902
01:16:40,083 --> 01:16:41,833
Why'd you do it?
903
01:16:42,875 --> 01:16:45,583
She was very fucking annoying, okay?
904
01:16:45,666 --> 01:16:47,500
Okay. Well, that's actually
not good enough.
905
01:16:47,583 --> 01:16:48,708
Mm!
906
01:16:49,791 --> 01:16:51,000
You're annoying too.
907
01:16:52,041 --> 01:16:54,375
-Are you threatening me?
-Mm-hmm. Maybe.
908
01:16:55,791 --> 01:16:57,041
You can't take me.
909
01:17:00,041 --> 01:17:01,041
I don't know.
910
01:17:01,125 --> 01:17:03,708
I have more
real-life experience than you.
911
01:17:03,791 --> 01:17:05,125
-I'm bigger.
-Mm-hmm.
912
01:17:05,208 --> 01:17:07,791
And I'm stronger.
And I'm-- I'm younger.
913
01:17:07,875 --> 01:17:10,125
Uh-huh. And you're injured.
914
01:17:10,208 --> 01:17:11,250
Hmm.
915
01:17:11,333 --> 01:17:12,500
And you'll be injured.
916
01:17:13,583 --> 01:17:15,791
-Mm.
-I'm joking.
917
01:17:18,458 --> 01:17:19,375
Same.
918
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:30,458
Oh, I'm so hungry.
919
01:17:31,458 --> 01:17:32,416
You?
920
01:18:02,916 --> 01:18:03,958
Um…
921
01:18:07,041 --> 01:18:08,541
Can I have some of your pizza?
922
01:18:10,458 --> 01:18:11,500
No.
923
01:18:12,833 --> 01:18:14,166
Why not?
924
01:18:14,250 --> 01:18:17,083
Because I asked you,
and it's a mini pizza,
925
01:18:17,166 --> 01:18:18,958
-and I'm tired and hungry--
-Please!
926
01:18:20,250 --> 01:18:21,833
-Please. Please, please, please.
-Uh-uh.
927
01:18:21,916 --> 01:18:23,583
-I changed my mind.
-No!
928
01:18:29,125 --> 01:18:30,500
-No!
-Ha-ha!
929
01:18:33,416 --> 01:18:35,416
Oh, it's not very good, is it?
930
01:18:37,958 --> 01:18:39,000
Here.
931
01:18:46,625 --> 01:18:48,083
Oh, you hate me, don't you?
932
01:18:50,750 --> 01:18:51,708
Hmm.
933
01:18:53,791 --> 01:18:55,583
It didn't take very much, did it?
934
01:19:04,250 --> 01:19:05,625
You're not showering?
935
01:19:19,333 --> 01:19:20,833
Dylan.
936
01:19:21,541 --> 01:19:22,708
What's going on?
937
01:19:26,083 --> 01:19:28,083
Do you think I'm a bad mother?
938
01:19:31,375 --> 01:19:32,791
Can you not do that?
939
01:19:38,958 --> 01:19:40,166
Was I bad?
940
01:19:43,041 --> 01:19:44,416
It doesn't matter.
941
01:19:47,916 --> 01:19:52,541
I mean, you were bad sometimes,
but you're not a bad person.
942
01:19:54,208 --> 01:19:55,958
It's just bad behavior.
943
01:20:02,166 --> 01:20:04,041
And what did you want from me?
944
01:20:07,708 --> 01:20:11,583
I wanted you to get what
you wanted or to get it for you,
945
01:20:13,666 --> 01:20:17,875
so you would look at me like you
weren't waiting to look away.
946
01:20:21,125 --> 01:20:23,041
And when I was really little,
947
01:20:24,541 --> 01:20:27,958
I thought you were
trying to escape me, but…
948
01:20:31,375 --> 01:20:32,958
You were just unhappy, right?
949
01:20:34,166 --> 01:20:35,583
It was just a hard time.
950
01:20:38,083 --> 01:20:39,750
In what ways was I bad?
951
01:20:41,750 --> 01:20:44,625
You… You weren't.
952
01:20:44,708 --> 01:20:46,166
Your, um…
953
01:20:46,250 --> 01:20:49,083
Grandma was difficult,
and she was complicated,
954
01:20:49,166 --> 01:20:53,833
and then that just made it hard
for you to give me…
955
01:20:53,916 --> 01:20:55,041
what I needed.
956
01:20:56,625 --> 01:20:57,875
What did you need?
957
01:21:02,208 --> 01:21:05,291
Well, it's hard to think of,
like, a specific thing
958
01:21:05,375 --> 01:21:06,666
off the top of my head.
959
01:21:07,416 --> 01:21:08,625
Um…
960
01:21:09,833 --> 01:21:11,708
And you were quite needy, though.
961
01:21:22,666 --> 01:21:25,708
Well, I was just struggling
like a normal kid with…
962
01:21:25,791 --> 01:21:28,333
normal depressive feelings,
963
01:21:29,666 --> 01:21:32,958
and you told me that
I was just like your mom
964
01:21:33,041 --> 01:21:34,375
who tried to kill herself.
965
01:21:34,458 --> 01:21:36,208
You did. You tried.
966
01:21:36,291 --> 01:21:38,416
-You did try to--
-No, I didn't. It was for fun.
967
01:21:38,500 --> 01:21:41,083
You hurled yourself off
the neighbors' roof, Dylan.
968
01:21:41,166 --> 01:21:42,916
No, into the pool for fun.
969
01:21:43,000 --> 01:21:46,041
You ate all the sleeping pills
and drank all of the alcohol,
970
01:21:46,125 --> 01:21:47,541
and it was the shallow end.
971
01:21:47,625 --> 01:21:49,458
No, it was the deep end.
972
01:21:49,541 --> 01:21:51,458
And I had some sleeping pills,
973
01:21:51,541 --> 01:21:54,333
and I drank so I could feel good and high.
974
01:21:54,416 --> 01:21:57,916
And I was sad sometimes,
but I thought I was gonna be okay.
975
01:21:59,791 --> 01:22:03,458
And I wanted you to think
I was gonna be okay too.
976
01:22:03,541 --> 01:22:05,166
It was a fucking party.
977
01:22:05,250 --> 01:22:07,583
It was eight o'clock in the morning.
978
01:22:07,666 --> 01:22:09,291
And you were cutting yourself.
979
01:22:09,375 --> 01:22:12,791
I'm sorry. You were cutting yourself
with my Italian kitchen knives.
980
01:22:12,875 --> 01:22:14,166
I did that twice.
981
01:22:14,916 --> 01:22:17,166
And it was a cry for help, and I…
982
01:22:17,250 --> 01:22:19,333
I don't communicate like that anymore.
983
01:22:19,416 --> 01:22:22,916
Okay, well, see, that's what I'm saying,
that is quite manipulative--
984
01:22:23,000 --> 01:22:25,416
It was not 8:00 a.m. It was night.
985
01:22:25,500 --> 01:22:28,375
I remember
you pitching yourself off the roof,
986
01:22:28,458 --> 01:22:30,041
and the sun was coming up.
987
01:22:30,125 --> 01:22:31,708
I will never forget that.
988
01:22:31,791 --> 01:22:33,958
Mom, what are you talking about?
989
01:22:34,041 --> 01:22:35,250
You weren't there!
990
01:22:36,458 --> 01:22:38,333
-Yes, I was.
-No, you weren't!
991
01:22:38,416 --> 01:22:39,750
Yes, I was!
992
01:22:47,125 --> 01:22:48,291
Where was I?
993
01:22:49,458 --> 01:22:50,625
You were on a retreat.
994
01:22:54,458 --> 01:22:57,833
And when you came back,
you told me that if I had died,
995
01:22:58,875 --> 01:23:00,166
you would like to think
996
01:23:01,791 --> 01:23:03,041
you would get over it.
997
01:23:06,375 --> 01:23:08,541
Well, I'd like to think
I would get over it.
998
01:23:11,208 --> 01:23:12,291
I don't wanna be…
999
01:23:13,583 --> 01:23:16,375
miserable because I love you.
I wanna be free.
1000
01:23:19,333 --> 01:23:21,791
You are miserable.
1001
01:23:21,875 --> 01:23:24,375
And you are fucking free!
1002
01:23:40,125 --> 01:23:41,958
-Dylan, uh--
-No.
1003
01:23:57,416 --> 01:23:58,541
Hey!
1004
01:24:00,791 --> 01:24:01,833
Lawyer.
1005
01:24:02,458 --> 01:24:03,458
Breakfast.
1006
01:24:45,750 --> 01:24:46,916
Oh, here she comes.
1007
01:24:48,125 --> 01:24:49,416
This is my daughter.
1008
01:24:51,166 --> 01:24:52,666
Hello. I'm Dylan.
1009
01:24:52,750 --> 01:24:54,916
Hi. Leonard. I'm the lawyer.
1010
01:24:55,791 --> 01:24:57,500
-Nice to meet you.
-You too.
1011
01:24:58,875 --> 01:25:00,083
I'm wearing the jacket.
1012
01:25:04,291 --> 01:25:05,750
Um…
1013
01:25:06,791 --> 01:25:08,375
What can I get ya?
1014
01:25:08,458 --> 01:25:09,625
I'm still thinking.
1015
01:25:13,083 --> 01:25:16,375
I'll have the vegetarian
big breakfast with a side of…
1016
01:25:18,958 --> 01:25:21,208
-Does your gravy have meat in it?
-Yeah.
1017
01:25:21,291 --> 01:25:22,625
Oh, never mind.
1018
01:25:22,708 --> 01:25:26,166
I'll get, um… a side of bacon.
1019
01:25:26,250 --> 01:25:28,750
Could you make it crispy but not burnt?
1020
01:25:30,041 --> 01:25:30,958
With what?
1021
01:25:32,791 --> 01:25:33,791
Um…
1022
01:25:35,916 --> 01:25:38,083
-I'll have the pancakes.
-Mm.
1023
01:25:39,041 --> 01:25:41,875
-Do you have a special?
-Uh, we might.
1024
01:25:41,958 --> 01:25:44,208
I'll go check the board.
It's down the other end.
1025
01:25:44,291 --> 01:25:46,083
-Um…
-Mom!
1026
01:25:46,166 --> 01:25:47,666
Yes, please.
1027
01:25:47,750 --> 01:25:48,708
What?
1028
01:25:51,416 --> 01:25:53,958
Can we get our coffee orders
in first, please?
1029
01:25:54,041 --> 01:25:56,958
Oh, yeah. They normally
take me a bit longer.
1030
01:25:57,041 --> 01:25:58,125
What do you want?
1031
01:25:58,208 --> 01:25:59,750
Um, black coffee, thanks.
1032
01:25:59,833 --> 01:26:01,125
Black for me too.
1033
01:26:01,208 --> 01:26:02,416
What kind of milk do you have?
1034
01:26:02,500 --> 01:26:03,833
We got all the milks.
1035
01:26:03,916 --> 01:26:06,916
Um, I'll have black too,
1036
01:26:07,000 --> 01:26:09,458
uh, with coconut milk on the side.
1037
01:26:09,541 --> 01:26:10,958
We don't have coconut milk.
1038
01:26:11,750 --> 01:26:15,791
Oh, um… soy milk, heated, please.
1039
01:26:17,541 --> 01:26:20,458
And you know what? I…
Don't worry about the special.
1040
01:26:20,541 --> 01:26:23,708
I'll have the vegetarian
big breakfast too.
1041
01:26:23,791 --> 01:26:25,291
With bacon on the side?
1042
01:26:25,375 --> 01:26:26,625
Yeah. Crispy, please.
1043
01:26:28,125 --> 01:26:29,958
If you're going that way, maybe just,
1044
01:26:30,041 --> 01:26:33,041
do tell me what the special is,
'cause maybe I will change my order.
1045
01:26:33,125 --> 01:26:34,125
Mm-hmm.
1046
01:26:35,208 --> 01:26:38,125
Uh… big V breakfast, pancakes,
1047
01:26:38,208 --> 01:26:42,458
big V breakfast with crispy bacon,
or maybe the special…
1048
01:26:42,541 --> 01:26:45,625
Three black coffees, soy milk on the side.
1049
01:26:45,708 --> 01:26:48,291
-Heated.
-Hot milk. Yeah.
1050
01:26:48,375 --> 01:26:49,916
And maybe the special.
1051
01:26:51,708 --> 01:26:53,416
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
1052
01:26:55,875 --> 01:26:56,916
So…
1053
01:26:58,583 --> 01:27:02,000
Lucy, I have to ask you one thing.
1054
01:27:02,083 --> 01:27:03,958
Is it okay to do so
in front of your daughter?
1055
01:27:06,416 --> 01:27:08,416
Yeah. Absolutely.
1056
01:27:09,833 --> 01:27:10,750
-Okay.
-Hmm.
1057
01:27:11,833 --> 01:27:14,333
Did you say to Beverly Woods…
1058
01:27:16,791 --> 01:27:18,416
that she should kill herself?
1059
01:27:22,958 --> 01:27:24,458
I did.
1060
01:27:24,541 --> 01:27:26,083
But, I…
1061
01:27:26,166 --> 01:27:28,416
It wasn't her that I meant to say it to.
1062
01:27:30,791 --> 01:27:32,083
It was a role-play.
1063
01:27:34,125 --> 01:27:35,875
Okay. And who were you saying it to?
1064
01:27:35,958 --> 01:27:38,375
It was me… Wasn't it?
1065
01:27:40,541 --> 01:27:41,625
No.
1066
01:27:43,500 --> 01:27:45,500
No, it wasn't you.
1067
01:27:47,333 --> 01:27:50,875
Dylan, why do you act like I hate you?
1068
01:27:52,666 --> 01:27:54,458
Because you act like you hate me.
1069
01:28:05,833 --> 01:28:10,791
Well, uh, I certainly don't hate you.
1070
01:28:10,875 --> 01:28:12,125
Uh…
1071
01:28:12,208 --> 01:28:13,625
I love you. I…
1072
01:28:14,708 --> 01:28:18,166
I love… I love you more than life itself.
1073
01:28:19,375 --> 01:28:20,291
Um…
1074
01:28:23,875 --> 01:28:26,791
I was role-playing to my mother.
Excuse me.
1075
01:28:28,000 --> 01:28:29,625
I just…
1076
01:28:29,708 --> 01:28:31,791
I have to go to the bathroom for a second.
1077
01:28:35,375 --> 01:28:36,375
Um…
1078
01:28:39,875 --> 01:28:42,166
What I did to Beverly was, um…
1079
01:28:44,000 --> 01:28:46,166
It was very unfair, and…
1080
01:28:48,458 --> 01:28:50,208
we should just do whatever's right.
1081
01:28:51,666 --> 01:28:53,458
Right, Leo?
1082
01:28:53,541 --> 01:28:55,500
Uh…
1083
01:28:55,583 --> 01:28:57,750
It's very good to hear
that you're remorseful,
1084
01:28:57,833 --> 01:29:00,541
but right is, realizations aside,
1085
01:29:00,625 --> 01:29:02,666
kinda relative in the law.
1086
01:29:03,708 --> 01:29:06,666
I mean, you broke it,
so you're already in the wrong.
1087
01:29:09,500 --> 01:29:10,625
Right.
1088
01:29:12,458 --> 01:29:13,625
Excuse me.
1089
01:29:24,875 --> 01:29:25,875
Are you okay?
1090
01:29:29,541 --> 01:29:33,500
-Okay? Sorry about this.
-No. I've… I've seen…
1091
01:29:33,583 --> 01:29:35,541
Uh, that's not what I…
1092
01:29:42,375 --> 01:29:44,125
Hey, is there a bathroom out there?
1093
01:29:47,833 --> 01:29:49,083
Uh…
1094
01:29:49,166 --> 01:29:50,666
No.
1095
01:29:50,750 --> 01:29:52,375
Just the great outdoors.
1096
01:30:00,000 --> 01:30:01,291
Lucy!
1097
01:30:02,416 --> 01:30:03,375
Ugh!
1098
01:30:20,166 --> 01:30:21,791
It's gotta stop.
1099
01:30:24,375 --> 01:30:27,541
All this nonsense, all this cruelty--
1100
01:30:27,625 --> 01:30:30,958
Actually, you have got to stop,
because you are the adult.
1101
01:30:31,041 --> 01:30:33,250
But you are an adult now too.
1102
01:30:36,291 --> 01:30:38,125
Dylan, you're…
1103
01:30:38,208 --> 01:30:40,416
You're gonna have to find a way
to forgive me,
1104
01:30:40,500 --> 01:30:43,500
and then you're gonna have to
find a way to forgive yourself
1105
01:30:43,583 --> 01:30:45,250
for taking so long to forgive me.
1106
01:30:46,125 --> 01:30:48,625
Look, what I should have said,
1107
01:30:48,708 --> 01:30:53,916
you are the fiercest
and most terrifyingly alive thing
1108
01:30:54,000 --> 01:30:56,041
that could have come out of me.
1109
01:30:56,125 --> 01:30:58,250
And if you died,
1110
01:30:58,333 --> 01:31:00,583
I'd have to believe that
I could get over it,
1111
01:31:00,666 --> 01:31:02,416
because I'm not sure that I could.
1112
01:31:02,500 --> 01:31:05,791
I mean, I'm barely managing
to get over everything else.
1113
01:31:08,458 --> 01:31:11,458
Well, you probably should've
said nothing of the kind.
1114
01:31:11,541 --> 01:31:12,583
You should've…
1115
01:31:13,666 --> 01:31:16,500
hugged me and gotten professional help.
1116
01:31:17,333 --> 01:31:18,541
But I appreciate it.
1117
01:31:21,291 --> 01:31:22,291
Right.
1118
01:31:25,291 --> 01:31:26,625
Right.
1119
01:31:27,708 --> 01:31:29,125
Fuck!
1120
01:31:29,208 --> 01:31:30,333
I mean…
1121
01:31:31,250 --> 01:31:33,250
Fuck.
1122
01:31:35,041 --> 01:31:37,208
I'm a fucking mess.
1123
01:31:40,458 --> 01:31:41,583
Mm-hm.
1124
01:31:48,458 --> 01:31:49,625
Well…
1125
01:31:56,458 --> 01:31:58,541
Shall we pretend we drowned in the river?
1126
01:32:05,541 --> 01:32:06,666
Just now?
1127
01:32:08,541 --> 01:32:09,541
Yeah.
1128
01:32:10,916 --> 01:32:12,125
We're ghosts.
1129
01:32:23,458 --> 01:32:25,708
-It takes the pressure off.
-Mm.
1130
01:32:39,125 --> 01:32:40,375
I got it.
1131
01:32:44,291 --> 01:32:45,666
Ready?
1132
01:32:46,541 --> 01:32:49,041
I should've said, "Darling girl…
1133
01:32:51,625 --> 01:32:53,666
please,
1134
01:32:53,750 --> 01:32:55,333
take good care of yourself."
1135
01:32:58,041 --> 01:33:00,041
"I love you very much."
1136
01:33:12,083 --> 01:33:13,291
Yeah, I should've.
1137
01:33:14,291 --> 01:33:16,000
Mm.
1138
01:33:40,916 --> 01:33:43,458
She says the special is, um,
1139
01:33:43,541 --> 01:33:47,500
the, uh… It's, uh, eggs Benedict, um…
1140
01:33:48,875 --> 01:33:52,416
and hash with smoked salmon and…
1141
01:33:53,583 --> 01:33:55,500
capers and…
1142
01:33:55,583 --> 01:33:58,000
-Back to life.
-…uh, wasabi mayo--
1143
01:33:58,083 --> 01:33:59,083
Back to life.
1144
01:33:59,166 --> 01:34:00,458
…and coleslaw.
1145
01:34:23,875 --> 01:34:25,833
Um, did you find your mom?
1146
01:34:25,916 --> 01:34:27,500
Yeah, she…
1147
01:34:27,583 --> 01:34:28,875
Mom!
1148
01:34:28,958 --> 01:34:30,208
What's on the other side?
1149
01:34:30,291 --> 01:34:32,875
Uh, Mt. Hypnos has wolves
in the national park.
1150
01:34:32,958 --> 01:34:34,500
Mom, there are wolves!
1151
01:34:37,208 --> 01:34:38,791
I have to get her. Sorry.
1152
01:34:38,875 --> 01:34:40,291
Yeah, no. Yes, indeed.
1153
01:34:40,375 --> 01:34:42,875
-The cops might take the absconding badly.
-Mom!
1154
01:34:43,625 --> 01:34:47,291
Hey. Hey! I grew up around here,
and I know the area,
1155
01:34:47,375 --> 01:34:49,833
and would very much like to come, and…
1156
01:34:49,916 --> 01:34:52,291
Unless I am vehemently not invited.
1157
01:34:54,666 --> 01:34:55,875
Come on!
1158
01:35:01,791 --> 01:35:04,750
There's good
hiking spots around here.
1159
01:35:04,833 --> 01:35:07,791
And you can drink from the streams
above the cow dung.
1160
01:35:09,083 --> 01:35:10,333
Mom!
1161
01:35:15,375 --> 01:35:17,000
Oh. Almost full reception.
1162
01:35:23,833 --> 01:35:25,041
Lucy!
1163
01:35:31,875 --> 01:35:32,958
Mm.
1164
01:35:34,291 --> 01:35:35,500
Dinner.
1165
01:35:37,166 --> 01:35:39,000
-Filling, huh?
-Mm.
1166
01:35:45,083 --> 01:35:46,208
Sorry.
1167
01:35:51,958 --> 01:35:53,041
Sorry.
1168
01:35:57,875 --> 01:35:59,000
Can I…
1169
01:36:03,500 --> 01:36:04,541
Yeah.
1170
01:36:11,583 --> 01:36:13,250
What if we're enemies…
1171
01:36:13,333 --> 01:36:15,750
…and we're in battle,
1172
01:36:15,833 --> 01:36:18,833
but we have a mutual fury and respect,
1173
01:36:18,916 --> 01:36:20,583
and today we fuck…
1174
01:36:20,666 --> 01:36:22,833
…and tomorrow we're at war?
1175
01:36:25,541 --> 01:36:26,625
Isn't it kinky enough
1176
01:36:26,708 --> 01:36:29,333
that you're seducing
your mother's defense attorney?
1177
01:36:29,416 --> 01:36:31,166
No? Okay.
1178
01:36:33,916 --> 01:36:35,208
Okay. Um…
1179
01:36:36,416 --> 01:36:39,458
At last… to have you!
1180
01:36:39,541 --> 01:36:40,875
All right!
1181
01:36:44,666 --> 01:36:46,625
Do you have a condom?
1182
01:36:46,708 --> 01:36:48,125
No.
1183
01:36:57,416 --> 01:36:58,916
Lucy!
1184
01:37:09,916 --> 01:37:11,875
Um…
1185
01:37:11,958 --> 01:37:14,375
I know this place.
1186
01:37:14,458 --> 01:37:16,166
Yeah, you keep saying.
1187
01:37:18,291 --> 01:37:19,500
No, I do. Um…
1188
01:37:20,750 --> 01:37:22,166
There's a cave around here.
1189
01:37:22,916 --> 01:37:24,458
Mm.
1190
01:37:24,541 --> 01:37:25,625
Show me.
1191
01:37:25,708 --> 01:37:27,666
Lucy, are you in here?
1192
01:37:29,250 --> 01:37:31,333
Oh, hey. Uh, don't…
1193
01:37:32,458 --> 01:37:34,458
Don't go too far. I nearly died here.
1194
01:37:34,541 --> 01:37:37,000
Why?
1195
01:37:37,083 --> 01:37:38,500
Is there a dragon?
1196
01:37:38,583 --> 01:37:40,416
No, I, um…
1197
01:37:40,500 --> 01:37:43,375
I lost sight of the mouth
trying to get to the other side.
1198
01:37:44,500 --> 01:37:46,458
For a while, it was dark,
1199
01:37:46,541 --> 01:37:49,125
and then I saw this light ahead,
and I was so excited,
1200
01:37:49,208 --> 01:37:50,875
but it wasn't until I saw the trees
1201
01:37:50,958 --> 01:37:53,083
that I realized it was
the same way I had entered.
1202
01:37:55,166 --> 01:37:57,708
Somewhere,
I'd turned all the way around.
1203
01:37:58,458 --> 01:38:01,041
I was lucky. You can't
tell where you're going.
1204
01:38:02,041 --> 01:38:05,000
You could go back and forth forever,
thinking it's forward.
1205
01:38:42,958 --> 01:38:44,250
Dylan?
1206
01:38:44,333 --> 01:38:46,875
Come back! I know where your mom is!
1207
01:38:56,083 --> 01:38:57,333
-You okay?
-Yeah.
1208
01:38:59,125 --> 01:39:00,250
Did you see something?
1209
01:39:02,000 --> 01:39:03,416
No. Um…
1210
01:39:04,541 --> 01:39:06,000
How do you know where she is?
1211
01:39:08,875 --> 01:39:10,125
She's on top.
1212
01:39:11,666 --> 01:39:13,583
She's got a phone?
1213
01:39:18,125 --> 01:39:19,541
Ugh!
1214
01:39:19,625 --> 01:39:20,750
Okay.
1215
01:39:29,250 --> 01:39:30,416
Hey!
1216
01:39:31,875 --> 01:39:33,125
Hey!
1217
01:39:34,250 --> 01:39:35,458
Dylan!
1218
01:39:36,458 --> 01:39:39,166
Ugh!
Come down from there.
1219
01:39:39,250 --> 01:39:40,333
No.
1220
01:39:40,416 --> 01:39:42,458
-Fuck.
-You come up here.
1221
01:39:47,583 --> 01:39:48,958
Can you please come down?
1222
01:39:50,833 --> 01:39:52,541
Come here.
1223
01:40:01,916 --> 01:40:03,000
Fine.
1224
01:40:06,250 --> 01:40:07,333
Hey, Leo.
1225
01:40:08,333 --> 01:40:11,541
Take a picture of me with my daughter
before I go to jail.
1226
01:40:11,625 --> 01:40:15,083
You're not gonna… go to jail.
1227
01:40:16,125 --> 01:40:17,375
Yeah… Ugh!
1228
01:40:19,875 --> 01:40:21,916
Be yourself. Be yourself.
1229
01:40:22,000 --> 01:40:24,541
-I am being myself, so--
-Just be yourself.
1230
01:40:31,083 --> 01:40:33,166
-Got it.
-Okay. Now a candid one.
1231
01:40:38,875 --> 01:40:40,625
Be how you would if you were alone.
1232
01:42:09,125 --> 01:42:11,125
-Happy?
-Mm.
1233
01:42:44,958 --> 01:42:46,958
-How did we look?
-Cute.
1234
01:42:48,625 --> 01:42:50,083
Oh, eyes closed.
1235
01:42:51,666 --> 01:42:53,333
Dylan not smiling.
1236
01:42:54,458 --> 01:42:55,791
Wrinkles.
1237
01:42:56,875 --> 01:42:58,250
Jowls.