1 00:00:30,816 --> 00:00:32,420 (Hydraulic brakes hiss) 2 00:00:32,455 --> 00:00:34,455 (Somber music playing) 3 00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,411 (Music continues) 4 00:00:58,910 --> 00:01:00,811 Man: <i>Like we discussed yesterday,</i> 5 00:01:00,846 --> 00:01:05,783 <i>I really want you all to focus on topic sentences more.</i> 6 00:01:05,818 --> 00:01:08,291 <i>Too many of you are rushing into examples</i> 7 00:01:08,326 --> 00:01:09,886 <i>in your body paragraphs.</i> 8 00:01:09,921 --> 00:01:11,756 <i>It'd be good for everyone to review</i> 9 00:01:11,791 --> 00:01:13,692 <i>the paragraph structure pdf I sent you</i> 10 00:01:13,727 --> 00:01:15,232 <i>a few weeks ago.</i> 11 00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:18,829 <i>I know these rules can feel constraining.</i> 12 00:01:18,864 --> 00:01:22,173 <i>But remember, the point of this course</i> 13 00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:26,342 <i>is to learn how to write clearly and persuasively.</i> 14 00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:29,675 <i>That's how you can</i> <i>effectively communicate</i> <i>your ideas.</i> 15 00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:30,874 (Message alert pings) 16 00:01:30,909 --> 00:01:32,342 (Man chuckles) 17 00:01:32,377 --> 00:01:35,450 <i>Chris, I imagine</i> <i>that was supposed to be</i> <i>a private chat</i> 18 00:01:35,485 --> 00:01:38,288 <i>that you sent</i> <i>to the whole class.</i> <i>Well done.</i> 19 00:01:38,323 --> 00:01:42,490 <i>And, yes, the camera</i> <i>on my laptop</i> <i>still doesn't work.</i> 20 00:01:42,525 --> 00:01:44,192 <i>Believe me, you're not missing much.</i> 21 00:01:44,227 --> 00:01:47,330 <i>Oh, and for those of you</i> <i>who still haven't</i> <i>given me paper three,</i> 22 00:01:47,365 --> 00:01:50,234 <i>I need it by Wednesday, no exceptions.</i> 23 00:01:51,303 --> 00:01:53,070 <i>And remember,</i> 24 00:01:53,105 --> 00:01:55,433 <i>- the more you revise these essays, the better.</i> 25 00:01:55,434 --> 00:01:56,306 - (Waves crashing) 26 00:01:56,341 --> 00:01:57,868 <i>The more you change,</i> 27 00:01:57,903 --> 00:02:00,739 <i>chances are you'll express your thoughts and ideas</i> 28 00:02:00,774 --> 00:02:02,378 <i>more clearly and persuasively.</i> 29 00:02:03,315 --> 00:02:04,347 <i>All right?</i> 30 00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:06,382 (Wave crashed loudly) 31 00:02:13,358 --> 00:02:14,588 (Man grunts) 32 00:02:14,623 --> 00:02:16,293 (Rain pattering) 33 00:02:20,365 --> 00:02:21,463 (Groans) 34 00:02:22,598 --> 00:02:26,732 (Heavy breathing) (Continues grunting) 35 00:02:26,767 --> 00:02:29,240 (Men on video breathing heavily) 36 00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:32,309 (Man grunts) (Stroking rapidly) 37 00:02:32,344 --> 00:02:33,475 Oh! 38 00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:35,807 (Grunting) 39 00:02:36,579 --> 00:02:40,317 (Grunting in pain) 40 00:02:40,913 --> 00:02:45,586 (Grunting laboriously) 41 00:02:45,621 --> 00:02:47,621 (Coughs, breathes heavily) 42 00:02:49,394 --> 00:02:54,463 (Gasping and coughing) 43 00:02:54,498 --> 00:02:59,402 <i>"Moby dick...</i> (Wheezes) In the amazing book, <i>Moby..."</i> (Groans) 44 00:02:59,437 --> 00:03:01,437 (Knock at door) Liz? 45 00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:02,966 (Pants) (Knocking continues) 46 00:03:03,001 --> 00:03:06,002 Just use your key, (Wheezes) Open the door! 47 00:03:07,973 --> 00:03:09,907 (Gasps) Oh, my god. 48 00:03:09,942 --> 00:03:11,942 Who are you? (Groans in pain) 49 00:03:11,977 --> 00:03:15,044 Gosh, are you okay? Should I call an ambulance? I should call an am... 50 00:03:15,079 --> 00:03:17,585 (Men panting) (Continues groaning) 51 00:03:18,918 --> 00:03:20,302 Read this to me. Do you have a phone? 52 00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:21,369 My phone's dead, I need to... 53 00:03:21,393 --> 00:03:22,887 Please just read it! Okay! 54 00:03:24,088 --> 00:03:25,560 (Grunts) Okay. 55 00:03:25,595 --> 00:03:27,095 (Groans) 56 00:03:27,130 --> 00:03:29,069 "In the amazing book, <i>Moby dick,</i> by the author, Herman melville, 57 00:03:29,093 --> 00:03:31,533 "the author recounts his story of being at sea. 58 00:03:31,568 --> 00:03:33,975 "In the first part of his book, the author, calling himself ishmael, 59 00:03:33,999 --> 00:03:35,076 "is in a small seaside town, 60 00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,869 "and he is sharing a bed with a man named queequeg." 61 00:03:37,904 --> 00:03:39,079 What is this? Why am I reading this? 62 00:03:39,103 --> 00:03:41,510 I need to... Just read any of it! 63 00:03:41,545 --> 00:03:43,809 "And I felt saddest of all when I read the boring chapters 64 00:03:43,844 --> 00:03:45,122 "that were only descriptions of whales, 65 00:03:45,146 --> 00:03:47,417 "because I knew that the author was just trying to save us 66 00:03:47,452 --> 00:03:48,496 "from his own sad story..." 67 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,332 (Gasping) Sad story. "Just for a little while." 68 00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:51,522 Just for a little while. 69 00:03:51,557 --> 00:03:53,566 "This book made me think about my own life... (Wheezes) 70 00:03:53,590 --> 00:03:55,425 "And then it made me feel glad for my..." 71 00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,790 (Panting) 72 00:03:57,825 --> 00:04:00,496 Did that help? (Sighs) 73 00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,399 Look, do you have a phone? My phone is dead. 74 00:04:02,434 --> 00:04:04,027 I need to call an ambulance. 75 00:04:04,062 --> 00:04:07,030 You need help. I don't go to hospitals. 76 00:04:07,065 --> 00:04:10,000 I can't help you, I don't... I don't go to hospitals. 77 00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:15,005 I am sorry, um... You can go. 78 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,644 Thank you for reading that to me. 79 00:04:22,718 --> 00:04:23,915 Are you sure you're okay? 80 00:04:26,117 --> 00:04:27,820 I'm sorry, who are you? 81 00:04:29,494 --> 00:04:30,999 Are you acquainted with the gospel of Jesus Christ? 82 00:04:31,023 --> 00:04:34,090 What? I'm sharing Christ's message of love, 83 00:04:34,125 --> 00:04:35,960 and I'm showing people... (Sighing) Oh. 84 00:04:35,995 --> 00:04:37,500 Think I should call my friend. 85 00:04:37,535 --> 00:04:40,635 She's a nurse, she takes care of me. 86 00:04:40,670 --> 00:04:44,001 Yeah. Yeah, I'll go. Sorry to bother you. Wait. 87 00:04:45,543 --> 00:04:46,983 My phone fell under there, can you... 88 00:04:50,614 --> 00:04:51,745 Yeah, sure. 89 00:04:54,486 --> 00:04:55,683 (Sighs) 90 00:05:02,692 --> 00:05:03,823 (Sighs) Here it is. 91 00:05:03,858 --> 00:05:04,858 (Groans in pain) 92 00:05:08,995 --> 00:05:10,566 (Man grunts) 93 00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,403 Hey, listen, I don't know what's gonna happen 94 00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:14,064 in the next few minutes. 95 00:05:14,099 --> 00:05:16,803 If you don't mind, could you... (Grunts) 96 00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:18,937 Yeah. Yeah, of course. Thank you. 97 00:05:20,545 --> 00:05:21,907 (Phone line ringing) 98 00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,295 (Automated voice speaking) <i>It's Liz. I'm not around.</i> <i>Leave a message.</i> 99 00:05:29,213 --> 00:05:31,587 What was that thing that you had me read to you? 100 00:05:33,118 --> 00:05:34,118 It's an essay. 101 00:05:34,988 --> 00:05:36,394 It's my job. 102 00:05:37,221 --> 00:05:39,562 I teach online college courses. 103 00:05:39,597 --> 00:05:41,117 But why did you have me read it to you? 104 00:05:45,229 --> 00:05:46,635 Because I thought I was dying. 105 00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:48,868 And I wanted to hear it one last time. 106 00:05:53,171 --> 00:05:54,973 (Velcro rips) 107 00:05:55,008 --> 00:05:56,876 You should have called an ambulance. 108 00:05:56,911 --> 00:05:58,911 With no health insurance? 109 00:05:58,946 --> 00:06:00,847 Being in debt is better than being dead. 110 00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:02,652 What's wrong with you? 111 00:06:03,852 --> 00:06:05,687 Why is there a missionary here? 112 00:06:06,756 --> 00:06:09,119 Someone left the door unlocked. 113 00:06:09,154 --> 00:06:10,791 I left after you fell asleep earlier, 114 00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:13,057 I must've forgotten. 115 00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:16,863 Good thing, too. If I hadn't, you might have... 116 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,227 Liz, I don't like it when you... 117 00:06:18,262 --> 00:06:20,471 Okay, okay. I just hate the thought 118 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:22,935 of you being sealed up in this place when I'm not here. 119 00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:25,330 (Pumping sphygmomanometer bulb) Now shut up, I'm trying to... 120 00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:33,044 (Releases pressure) (Air hissing) 121 00:06:34,619 --> 00:06:35,849 What? Hush. 122 00:06:40,856 --> 00:06:41,987 Tell me what you felt. 123 00:06:42,726 --> 00:06:44,792 Pain, in my chest. 124 00:06:44,827 --> 00:06:45,925 Hard to breathe. 125 00:06:46,895 --> 00:06:48,059 I couldn't intake air. 126 00:06:49,293 --> 00:06:51,260 (Rips velcro) 127 00:06:51,295 --> 00:06:53,933 How are you sleeping? I'm not, really. 128 00:06:57,202 --> 00:06:58,542 Lean forward. 129 00:07:00,612 --> 00:07:01,776 (Sighs) 130 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:03,844 (Man wheezes) 131 00:07:06,079 --> 00:07:07,749 You're wheezing. 132 00:07:07,784 --> 00:07:09,718 I always wheeze, Liz. 133 00:07:09,753 --> 00:07:10,950 You're wheezing more. 134 00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:12,853 Deep breath. 135 00:07:12,888 --> 00:07:15,493 (Breathes deeply with difficulty) 136 00:07:16,859 --> 00:07:18,661 That hurt? 137 00:07:18,696 --> 00:07:19,776 What was my blood pressure? 138 00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:24,029 Two-hundred and thirty-eight over 134. 139 00:07:29,938 --> 00:07:31,542 (Chuckling) Oh. 140 00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:32,675 Yeah. "Oh." 141 00:07:34,646 --> 00:07:35,646 (Sighs) 142 00:07:36,142 --> 00:07:37,408 Hey, could you... 143 00:07:37,444 --> 00:07:39,804 I haven't been to the bathroom all day, I'm ready to explode. 144 00:07:52,026 --> 00:07:53,124 (Grunts) 145 00:07:54,897 --> 00:07:56,633 (Exhales deeply) 146 00:08:06,304 --> 00:08:07,941 (Draws curtain) (Light switch clicks) 147 00:08:15,049 --> 00:08:16,620 (Trash can lid closes) 148 00:08:16,655 --> 00:08:18,655 (Sighs) 149 00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:20,558 (Man grunts) Liz: You need help in there? 150 00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,187 Man: No, I'm fine. Sorry. 151 00:08:23,992 --> 00:08:25,596 What are you sorry about? 152 00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:28,797 I'm sorry. I don't know. Just sorry. 153 00:08:28,832 --> 00:08:30,392 Missionary: I should go. Liz: Thank you. 154 00:08:31,230 --> 00:08:33,230 You must be from new life. 155 00:08:33,265 --> 00:08:35,100 You know Doug, from the church council? 156 00:08:36,268 --> 00:08:38,004 Yeah, I think so? 157 00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,335 I'm not entirely sure. 158 00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:40,611 I'm sort of new here, so... 159 00:08:41,009 --> 00:08:42,074 He's my dad. 160 00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:46,276 Doug and Cindy adopted me when I was a baby. 161 00:08:46,311 --> 00:08:47,849 Oh, that's great. 162 00:08:47,884 --> 00:08:49,785 I've never seen you there before, but, 163 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,083 again I'm sort of new, so... 164 00:08:51,118 --> 00:08:53,657 (Sighs) Fucking hate new life. Oh. 165 00:08:53,692 --> 00:08:55,003 My dad forced me to go when I was a kid. 166 00:08:55,027 --> 00:08:58,959 It was awful, growing up with all that "end times" bullshit. 167 00:09:00,193 --> 00:09:02,193 (Sighs) You're young. 168 00:09:03,262 --> 00:09:04,404 Why the hell would you want to believe 169 00:09:04,428 --> 00:09:05,999 that the world is about to end? 170 00:09:07,365 --> 00:09:09,805 I believe that when Christ returns, 171 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,070 it's gonna be beautiful. 172 00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:15,976 Look, you can go. 173 00:09:17,441 --> 00:09:19,309 I know Charlie appreciates the help, 174 00:09:19,344 --> 00:09:21,982 but if you're here to convert him... 175 00:09:22,017 --> 00:09:23,214 Oh, we don't convert, 176 00:09:23,249 --> 00:09:24,215 our message is a message of hope 177 00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:27,251 for people of all... Liz: People of all faiths. 178 00:09:27,286 --> 00:09:30,760 I know. You're sweet. (Clicks lighter) But... 179 00:09:33,765 --> 00:09:34,864 (Sighs) 180 00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:36,964 Believe me, he doesn't want to hear about new life. 181 00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:40,198 Why? 182 00:09:40,233 --> 00:09:41,870 Because it's caused him a lot of pain. 183 00:09:42,906 --> 00:09:43,906 How? 184 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:48,713 It killed his boyfriend. 185 00:09:50,441 --> 00:09:51,979 (Toilet flushes) 186 00:09:54,412 --> 00:09:56,412 You're saying the church... (Sighs) 187 00:09:57,481 --> 00:10:00,020 Killed Charlie's boyfriend, yes. 188 00:10:01,188 --> 00:10:03,056 And I should add that new life 189 00:10:03,091 --> 00:10:05,289 has caused me a lot of pain in my life. 190 00:10:05,324 --> 00:10:07,929 So, we don't need you coming over here, 191 00:10:07,964 --> 00:10:10,096 especially not now, not this week. 192 00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:13,000 Why? 193 00:10:13,035 --> 00:10:14,969 Because he probably won't be here next week. 194 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,268 Where's he going? 195 00:10:17,303 --> 00:10:19,402 I'm sorry you had to come over, Liz. 196 00:10:20,779 --> 00:10:22,042 No, it's okay. 197 00:10:22,077 --> 00:10:24,946 I'm sorry that I always think I'm dying. 198 00:10:24,981 --> 00:10:28,114 Charlie, your blood pressure is 238 over 134. 199 00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:30,215 I'm sorry. Go to the hospital. 200 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,019 I'm sorry. Stop saying you're sorry. 201 00:10:32,054 --> 00:10:33,251 Go to the hospital. 202 00:10:34,353 --> 00:10:35,957 You have congestive heart failure. 203 00:10:35,992 --> 00:10:37,266 If you don't go to the hospital, 204 00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:38,490 you'll be dead by the weekend. 205 00:10:40,095 --> 00:10:41,963 (Sternly) You will die. 206 00:10:43,967 --> 00:10:45,241 Charlie: Well, then, I better get to work 207 00:10:45,265 --> 00:10:46,847 because I have a lot of essays this week. 208 00:10:46,871 --> 00:10:48,299 God damn it! 209 00:10:48,334 --> 00:10:51,742 I know. I'm sorry, I'm an awful person. I know. 210 00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:54,404 I'm sorry. 211 00:10:54,439 --> 00:10:55,905 (Grunts, pants) 212 00:10:55,941 --> 00:10:58,155 Did you still want to hear about Christ's message of love and salvation? 213 00:10:58,179 --> 00:10:59,277 No, he does not! 214 00:10:59,312 --> 00:11:00,312 Missionary: Okay. Okay. 215 00:11:01,149 --> 00:11:02,149 I'll go. 216 00:11:04,383 --> 00:11:05,249 I still don't understand 217 00:11:05,284 --> 00:11:06,922 why you had me read that essay to you. 218 00:11:08,156 --> 00:11:09,760 It's a really good essay. 219 00:11:12,028 --> 00:11:13,929 Liz: Goodbye. (Closes door) 220 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,802 Charlie, you have to go to the hospital. This has gone way too far. 221 00:11:18,837 --> 00:11:22,102 And rack up tens of thousands of dollars in hospital bills 222 00:11:22,137 --> 00:11:24,467 I'll never be able to pay back, ever. 223 00:11:24,502 --> 00:11:26,403 This affects me too, you know? 224 00:11:29,507 --> 00:11:30,507 You're my friend. 225 00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:33,213 I know. 226 00:11:35,051 --> 00:11:36,083 I'm sorry. 227 00:11:36,118 --> 00:11:37,262 You say you're sorry one more time, 228 00:11:37,286 --> 00:11:39,449 I will shove a knife right into you, I swear to god! 229 00:11:39,484 --> 00:11:41,825 Go ahead, what's it gonna do? 230 00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:43,620 My internal organs are two feet in, at least. 231 00:11:46,557 --> 00:11:48,524 (Laughing) 232 00:11:50,066 --> 00:11:51,296 (Coughs) 233 00:11:51,331 --> 00:11:52,331 (Whimpers playfully) 234 00:11:59,911 --> 00:12:01,504 I've been telling you this would happen. 235 00:12:01,539 --> 00:12:02,846 (Sighs) I know. 236 00:12:05,444 --> 00:12:07,411 Haven't I been telling you? You have. 237 00:12:17,621 --> 00:12:20,028 Newscaster 1: <i>A new gop presidential primary.</i> 238 00:12:20,063 --> 00:12:21,763 <i>However, they say absentee ballots</i> 239 00:12:21,798 --> 00:12:24,274 <i>are the lowest they've seen</i> <i>in recent history.</i> Newscaster 2:<i> That's not good.</i> 240 00:12:24,298 --> 00:12:26,375 Newscaster 3: <i>No, it's not. Get out and vote tomorrow.</i> 241 00:12:26,399 --> 00:12:28,432 <i>If you want to vote in the republican primary.</i> 242 00:12:28,467 --> 00:12:30,841 <i>Our current polls do show, among Republicans, ,</i> 243 00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:33,173 <i>30% favor trump...</i> Liz. 244 00:12:33,208 --> 00:12:34,574 Newscaster 3: <i>Senator Ted Cruz,</i> 245 00:12:34,610 --> 00:12:38,112 <i>17% would vote</i> <i>for Florida senator</i> <i>Marco rubio,</i> 246 00:12:38,147 --> 00:12:40,950 <i>and 5% for Ohio governor John kasich.</i> 247 00:12:40,985 --> 00:12:42,251 Liz. 248 00:12:42,287 --> 00:12:43,364 Newscaster 3: <i>For someone else,</i> <i>if they could.</i> 249 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,922 <i>Below a percent that just don't know.</i> 250 00:12:45,957 --> 00:12:47,535 Newscaster 1: <i>Meanwhile, Vermont senator</i> <i>Bernie Sanders</i> 251 00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,861 <i>is expected to win</i> <i>the gem state</i> <i>on the Democratic side...</i> 252 00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:51,762 Please. 253 00:12:51,797 --> 00:12:54,293 (Newscaster 1 continues indistinctly) 254 00:13:19,287 --> 00:13:20,287 Thank you. 255 00:13:31,662 --> 00:13:33,530 (Crunching) 256 00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:45,080 (Laughter on TV) 257 00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,379 Oh, I've seen this one, it's good. 258 00:13:47,414 --> 00:13:49,216 (Indistinct TV chatter) 259 00:13:53,024 --> 00:13:54,650 (Rain pattering) 260 00:13:56,027 --> 00:13:58,027 (Indistinct TV chatter) 261 00:14:00,526 --> 00:14:02,493 (Charlie chokes, coughs) 262 00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:05,595 (Coughing) 263 00:14:10,635 --> 00:14:12,074 (Remote clicks) (Tv switches off) 264 00:14:15,343 --> 00:14:16,474 (Breathes deeply) 265 00:14:19,644 --> 00:14:21,919 (Soft music playing) 266 00:14:38,267 --> 00:14:42,302 Charlie: <i>In the first part of his book, the author,</i> 267 00:14:44,273 --> 00:14:46,009 <i>calling himself ishmael,</i> 268 00:14:47,045 --> 00:14:52,444 <i>is in a small seaside town</i> 269 00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:55,381 <i>and he is</i> 270 00:14:57,451 --> 00:15:00,716 <i>sharing a bed with a man</i> 271 00:15:02,555 --> 00:15:04,060 <i>named queequeg.</i> 272 00:15:08,396 --> 00:15:11,397 <i>The author and queequeg go to church,</i> 273 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,071 <i>and later, they set out on a ship</i> 274 00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:16,567 <i>captained by the pirate named</i> 275 00:15:18,340 --> 00:15:19,405 ahab, 276 00:15:22,245 --> 00:15:24,410 who is missing a leg, 277 00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:27,281 and very much wants to kill the whale 278 00:15:29,549 --> 00:15:31,351 which is named Moby dick, 279 00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:33,584 and which is white. 280 00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,456 In the course of the book, 281 00:15:37,491 --> 00:15:40,096 the pirate ahab encounters many hardships. 282 00:15:41,264 --> 00:15:44,397 His entire life is set around 283 00:15:44,432 --> 00:15:47,037 trying to kill a certain whale. 284 00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,731 I think this is sad 285 00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:49,699 (grunts) 286 00:15:49,734 --> 00:15:53,142 Because the whale doesn't have any emotions. 287 00:15:55,311 --> 00:15:56,475 (Grunts) 288 00:15:56,774 --> 00:15:58,015 He's just 289 00:15:59,381 --> 00:16:00,710 a poor, big animal. 290 00:16:03,220 --> 00:16:07,684 And I feel bad for ahab as well 291 00:16:09,358 --> 00:16:10,720 (grunts) 292 00:16:10,755 --> 00:16:16,231 Because he thinks that his life will be better 293 00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:19,399 if he can just kill this whale. 294 00:16:22,602 --> 00:16:24,734 But in reality, 295 00:16:25,374 --> 00:16:26,374 (grunts) 296 00:16:28,212 --> 00:16:29,574 It won't help him at all. 297 00:16:31,578 --> 00:16:34,117 This book made me think 298 00:16:35,186 --> 00:16:36,317 about my own life. 299 00:16:39,817 --> 00:16:42,290 This book made me think about my own life. 300 00:16:42,325 --> 00:16:45,359 (Ocean waves crashing) 301 00:16:45,394 --> 00:16:49,297 (Softly) This book made me think about my own life. 302 00:17:38,777 --> 00:17:39,777 (Sighs) 303 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:47,652 (Exhales) 304 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,326 (Typing) 305 00:18:02,537 --> 00:18:04,273 (Typing) 306 00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:19,750 (Sighs) 307 00:18:20,951 --> 00:18:22,654 (Typing) 308 00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:36,932 (Exhales) 309 00:18:56,393 --> 00:18:58,360 (Wrapper crinkling) 310 00:19:00,628 --> 00:19:02,199 (Bird chirps) 311 00:19:04,863 --> 00:19:06,302 (Chirps) 312 00:19:20,516 --> 00:19:21,779 (Sighs heavily) 313 00:19:48,379 --> 00:19:49,873 (Line rings) 314 00:19:50,876 --> 00:19:53,250 (Clears throat) (Line connects) 315 00:20:30,652 --> 00:20:31,783 (Knock at door) 316 00:20:34,986 --> 00:20:36,920 (Chuckles quietly) 317 00:20:36,955 --> 00:20:38,559 Does this mean now I'm gonna get fat? 318 00:20:39,628 --> 00:20:42,530 (Grunts) No, it doesn't. 319 00:20:43,665 --> 00:20:44,994 I was always big. 320 00:20:45,029 --> 00:20:46,061 I just... 321 00:20:46,965 --> 00:20:48,470 I let it get out of control. 322 00:20:49,902 --> 00:20:51,374 (Charlie exhales) 323 00:20:53,444 --> 00:20:56,709 So, was your mom okay with you coming over here? 324 00:20:57,679 --> 00:20:58,810 I didn't tell her. 325 00:21:01,848 --> 00:21:03,320 Charlie: It's really good to see you. 326 00:21:05,456 --> 00:21:06,554 You look beautiful. 327 00:21:09,526 --> 00:21:10,723 So, how's school? 328 00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:13,363 You're a senior, right? 329 00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,793 You actually care? 330 00:21:14,828 --> 00:21:16,828 Well, of course I care. 331 00:21:16,863 --> 00:21:18,533 I pester your mom for information 332 00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:19,848 as often as she'll give it to me. 333 00:21:21,901 --> 00:21:23,032 (Charlie exhales) 334 00:21:25,773 --> 00:21:26,773 Um... 335 00:21:28,446 --> 00:21:30,776 So... (Grunts) 336 00:21:30,811 --> 00:21:33,383 Why are you... I mean, don't you have school? 337 00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:34,846 Got suspended this morning. 338 00:21:35,585 --> 00:21:36,585 Oh. 339 00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:38,588 Why? 340 00:21:38,623 --> 00:21:40,786 I posted something about my stupid bitch lab partner 341 00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:43,052 that the vice principal said was "vaguely threatening." 342 00:21:44,495 --> 00:21:45,725 (Grunts) 343 00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:47,958 You don't like school? 344 00:21:47,993 --> 00:21:49,465 Only idiots like high school. 345 00:21:50,864 --> 00:21:53,370 But you're on track to graduate, right? 346 00:21:55,198 --> 00:21:56,538 Counselor says I might not. 347 00:21:58,102 --> 00:21:59,376 I'm not worried. 348 00:22:00,907 --> 00:22:01,907 I'm a smart person. 349 00:22:02,810 --> 00:22:03,974 I never forget anything. 350 00:22:05,175 --> 00:22:06,911 High school is just bullshit. 351 00:22:06,946 --> 00:22:08,814 But, Ellie, it's important. 352 00:22:08,849 --> 00:22:09,893 If you don't graduate, then... 353 00:22:09,917 --> 00:22:11,757 Are you actually trying to parent me right now? 354 00:22:12,820 --> 00:22:14,523 No, i'm... sorry. 355 00:22:14,822 --> 00:22:16,591 I just... 356 00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:19,226 I just thought that maybe we could spend some time with each other. 357 00:22:19,695 --> 00:22:20,935 I'm not spending time with you. 358 00:22:21,697 --> 00:22:22,697 You're disgusting. 359 00:22:28,165 --> 00:22:30,033 Well, I'm a lot bigger than I was 360 00:22:30,068 --> 00:22:31,145 since last time you saw me. 361 00:22:31,169 --> 00:22:33,707 Ellie: No, I'm not talking about what you look like. 362 00:22:33,742 --> 00:22:35,662 You'd be disgusting even if you weren't this fat. 363 00:22:36,877 --> 00:22:38,844 You'd still be that piece-of-shit dad 364 00:22:38,879 --> 00:22:40,359 who walked out on me when I was eight. 365 00:22:41,684 --> 00:22:43,684 All because he wanted to fuck one of his students. 366 00:22:43,719 --> 00:22:44,751 Can I have one of these? 367 00:22:46,183 --> 00:22:47,183 Yeah. 368 00:22:50,825 --> 00:22:52,495 Look, it's... It's been a long time. 369 00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:53,991 I just thought that maybe 370 00:22:55,258 --> 00:22:56,730 we can get to know each other. 371 00:22:58,569 --> 00:22:59,809 I don't even know why I'm here. 372 00:23:00,670 --> 00:23:01,670 I can pay you. 373 00:23:06,544 --> 00:23:08,203 You want to pay me to spend time with you? 374 00:23:08,238 --> 00:23:10,238 And I can help you with your work. 375 00:23:10,273 --> 00:23:12,009 It's what I do for my job. 376 00:23:13,782 --> 00:23:15,078 I can help you pass your classes. 377 00:23:16,785 --> 00:23:18,818 You teach online? Yes. 378 00:23:18,853 --> 00:23:20,622 Your students know what you look like? 379 00:23:20,657 --> 00:23:22,558 I keep the camera shut off. 380 00:23:22,593 --> 00:23:24,021 Yeah, that's probably a good idea. 381 00:23:31,162 --> 00:23:33,202 My counselor says that if I show a lot of improvement 382 00:23:33,230 --> 00:23:34,636 in one subject, 383 00:23:34,671 --> 00:23:35,791 I might be able to graduate. 384 00:23:36,904 --> 00:23:39,168 You can rewrite these essays for English. 385 00:23:39,203 --> 00:23:40,741 They have to be really good, though. 386 00:23:44,582 --> 00:23:45,911 Well, look, um... 387 00:23:45,946 --> 00:23:47,715 I don't know if I should write them for you, 388 00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:48,826 but I can work with you on them. 389 00:23:48,850 --> 00:23:49,981 How much can you pay me? 390 00:23:51,116 --> 00:23:52,082 Everything I have. 391 00:23:52,117 --> 00:23:54,491 All the money I have in the bank. How much? 392 00:23:56,627 --> 00:23:59,892 $120,000? Something like that. I'd have to check. 393 00:24:01,599 --> 00:24:02,895 I never go out. 394 00:24:02,930 --> 00:24:06,063 All I pay for is food, rent, Internet. 395 00:24:06,835 --> 00:24:08,538 And I work all the time. 396 00:24:09,904 --> 00:24:11,144 And you'd give all of it to me? 397 00:24:12,610 --> 00:24:13,610 Not to my mom, to me? 398 00:24:15,239 --> 00:24:17,239 Yes. Just... 399 00:24:18,308 --> 00:24:19,813 Don't tell your mom, 400 00:24:20,244 --> 00:24:21,244 all right? 401 00:24:22,884 --> 00:24:26,787 And maybe you could do some writing just for me. 402 00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:28,888 Why? 403 00:24:28,923 --> 00:24:31,726 Because you're a smart person. 404 00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:33,860 And I bet you'd make a strong writer. 405 00:24:36,095 --> 00:24:37,798 Plus, I'm a teacher. I want to make sure 406 00:24:37,833 --> 00:24:39,668 you're getting something out of this. 407 00:24:42,772 --> 00:24:45,069 (Zips bag) I don't even understand you. 408 00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:57,246 Stand up and walk over to me. 409 00:24:58,722 --> 00:24:59,853 What? 410 00:24:59,888 --> 00:25:01,723 Come over here. Walk toward me. 411 00:25:05,322 --> 00:25:07,091 No. No. Without this thing. 412 00:25:08,798 --> 00:25:10,699 Stand up and walk over here. 413 00:25:13,132 --> 00:25:14,571 Ellie, I can't really... Shut up! 414 00:25:16,267 --> 00:25:17,640 Come over here. 415 00:25:23,274 --> 00:25:24,647 (Charlie sighs) 416 00:25:30,413 --> 00:25:31,720 (Exhales heavily) 417 00:25:32,250 --> 00:25:33,250 (Breathes deeply) 418 00:25:38,894 --> 00:25:40,729 (Grunts with exertion) 419 00:25:40,764 --> 00:25:42,291 (Grunts, groans) 420 00:25:42,931 --> 00:25:45,866 (Panting) 421 00:25:48,233 --> 00:25:50,607 (Huffing) 422 00:25:51,401 --> 00:25:54,204 (Grunts) 423 00:25:58,342 --> 00:25:59,682 (Charlie yells) 424 00:26:00,179 --> 00:26:01,882 (Groaning loudly) 425 00:26:03,017 --> 00:26:04,984 (Groaning in pain) 426 00:26:09,155 --> 00:26:11,155 (Panting) 427 00:26:13,324 --> 00:26:15,225 (Dog barks outside) 428 00:26:21,068 --> 00:26:22,936 (Whispering) "Celebrate my soul. 429 00:26:24,071 --> 00:26:25,774 "Sell my soul." 430 00:26:25,809 --> 00:26:26,973 (Knock at door) 431 00:26:27,470 --> 00:26:28,711 Man: Gambino's! 432 00:26:29,472 --> 00:26:30,779 Yeah, you can, um... 433 00:26:31,914 --> 00:26:33,342 I put a $20 in the mailbox. 434 00:26:34,818 --> 00:26:35,850 Man: Sure. 435 00:26:39,449 --> 00:26:41,922 You can just leave it on the... 436 00:26:41,957 --> 00:26:44,188 Man: Yeah, I, uh... I remember. 437 00:26:46,324 --> 00:26:47,664 Everything okay in there? 438 00:26:52,297 --> 00:26:53,297 Yeah. 439 00:26:55,102 --> 00:26:56,134 Man: You sure? 440 00:26:56,939 --> 00:26:57,939 Yeah. 441 00:26:58,809 --> 00:26:59,841 I'm fine. 442 00:27:02,274 --> 00:27:03,274 Thank you. 443 00:27:05,244 --> 00:27:06,244 (Metal clacks) 444 00:27:07,114 --> 00:27:08,718 (Footsteps) 445 00:27:12,020 --> 00:27:13,118 (Chuckles lightly) 446 00:27:20,358 --> 00:27:21,797 (Car engine starts) 447 00:27:46,956 --> 00:27:48,791 Breathe slowly. (Device beeps) 448 00:27:48,826 --> 00:27:50,122 (Inhales) 449 00:27:50,157 --> 00:27:51,189 Relax. 450 00:27:51,224 --> 00:27:52,323 (Exhales) (Device beeps) 451 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,490 It measures perspiration. It's an indicator of stress. 452 00:27:55,525 --> 00:27:56,942 It's about establishing a relationship 453 00:27:56,966 --> 00:27:58,207 between your brain and your body. 454 00:27:58,231 --> 00:27:59,769 If you know how to make yourself calm, 455 00:27:59,804 --> 00:28:00,946 then your blood pressure will... 456 00:28:00,970 --> 00:28:03,036 (Device beeps) Here. 457 00:28:03,071 --> 00:28:05,071 I don't need a little machine to tell me 458 00:28:05,106 --> 00:28:07,535 to take a few deep breaths and stop sweating. 459 00:28:07,570 --> 00:28:09,911 Well, apparently, you fucking do. 460 00:28:09,946 --> 00:28:12,540 (Device beeps) Take another deep breath. 461 00:28:12,575 --> 00:28:15,246 (Breathes deeply) (Device beeps) 462 00:28:15,281 --> 00:28:16,346 Thank you. 463 00:28:18,317 --> 00:28:19,921 (Charlie exhales deeply) 464 00:28:19,956 --> 00:28:22,187 (Liz sighs) 465 00:28:22,222 --> 00:28:26,290 We're just gonna try some different methods, or whatever. 466 00:28:26,325 --> 00:28:29,931 If you refuse to go to the hospital, then you'll... 467 00:28:31,066 --> 00:28:32,131 I don't know. 468 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,404 Where'd this come from? 469 00:28:41,439 --> 00:28:42,944 (Device continues beeping) 470 00:28:46,411 --> 00:28:47,411 Hey. 471 00:28:50,855 --> 00:28:51,855 Was she here? 472 00:28:55,057 --> 00:28:57,057 No, I don't like this. 473 00:28:57,092 --> 00:28:59,224 This isn't a good idea. 474 00:28:59,259 --> 00:29:01,193 You know you're not supposed to be around her. 475 00:29:02,493 --> 00:29:03,833 Does her mom know about this? 476 00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:05,263 I just wanted to see her. 477 00:29:05,298 --> 00:29:07,298 Mary has kept her from me all this time. 478 00:29:07,333 --> 00:29:10,004 Why do you suddenly need to see her so bad, why now? 479 00:29:10,039 --> 00:29:11,039 Liz. 480 00:29:14,978 --> 00:29:16,076 (Liz sighs) 481 00:29:18,212 --> 00:29:20,080 Why the hell do you have her homework, anyway? 482 00:29:20,984 --> 00:29:24,480 Look, I didn't plan for this. 483 00:29:24,515 --> 00:29:26,218 She needs some help at school, 484 00:29:26,253 --> 00:29:28,583 so I'm gonna help her with a few essays. 485 00:29:28,618 --> 00:29:29,751 (Liz scoffs) 486 00:29:29,786 --> 00:29:31,861 You haven't seen her since she was eight years old, 487 00:29:31,896 --> 00:29:33,005 and you're gonna reconnect with her 488 00:29:33,029 --> 00:29:34,589 by doing her homework for her? 489 00:29:34,624 --> 00:29:36,129 It's fine. It's not fine. 490 00:29:39,002 --> 00:29:40,962 She shouldn't be around you when you're like this. 491 00:29:42,104 --> 00:29:44,632 What if something happens, what if you need help? 492 00:29:44,667 --> 00:29:46,172 (Device beeping rapidly) 493 00:29:46,207 --> 00:29:47,371 Charlie, calm down. 494 00:29:48,374 --> 00:29:50,044 Hey. No. (Beeping stops) 495 00:29:52,576 --> 00:29:54,015 Okay. Forget it, then. 496 00:29:55,315 --> 00:29:57,348 I'm worried about her. Why? 497 00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:01,550 Oh, you're spying on her now? 498 00:30:03,290 --> 00:30:05,158 It doesn't look like she has any friends. 499 00:30:09,329 --> 00:30:10,361 I don't think this is... 500 00:30:15,170 --> 00:30:17,335 (Charlie scoffs) Come on, a dead dog? 501 00:30:23,948 --> 00:30:25,409 I'm worried that she's forgotten 502 00:30:25,444 --> 00:30:27,279 what an amazing person she is. 503 00:30:32,517 --> 00:30:34,352 She's just a teenager. 504 00:30:34,387 --> 00:30:36,420 Everyone is insane when they're a teenager. 505 00:30:36,455 --> 00:30:37,354 When I was her age, 506 00:30:37,390 --> 00:30:39,126 when my dad would really piss me off... 507 00:30:41,031 --> 00:30:43,271 I'm just lucky I didn't get arrested, that's all I'll say. 508 00:30:46,531 --> 00:30:47,563 Point is, 509 00:30:49,567 --> 00:30:52,073 bringing her over here is a bad idea. 510 00:30:52,108 --> 00:30:54,148 You have enough to deal with right now, you hear me? 511 00:30:55,639 --> 00:30:57,276 Do not bring her over here again. 512 00:30:58,048 --> 00:30:59,146 Okay. 513 00:31:00,512 --> 00:31:01,512 Okay. 514 00:31:06,617 --> 00:31:09,123 It's not like she's alone, you know. She has her mom. 515 00:31:15,197 --> 00:31:17,527 Liz: Ugh, shit. I have to go soon. 516 00:31:19,003 --> 00:31:21,201 I hate these night shifts. (Utensils clacking) 517 00:31:21,236 --> 00:31:25,271 It's just a steady parade of dumb, drunk college kids. 518 00:31:25,306 --> 00:31:26,503 (Faucet runs) 519 00:31:27,605 --> 00:31:29,374 (Laughing) Did I tell you about this girl 520 00:31:29,409 --> 00:31:31,376 from a few nights ago? (Gags) 521 00:31:31,411 --> 00:31:33,983 The puke was bright purple, I swear. 522 00:31:34,018 --> 00:31:36,447 (Choking) (Liz laughing) 523 00:31:36,482 --> 00:31:37,482 I mean, what is that? 524 00:31:37,517 --> 00:31:40,352 Why can't these kids just drink beer? You know. 525 00:31:41,751 --> 00:31:44,059 Are you choking? (Continues choking) 526 00:31:44,094 --> 00:31:46,292 Oh, god! Okay, lean on that arm. 527 00:31:47,064 --> 00:31:48,064 Lean on that arm! 528 00:31:49,033 --> 00:31:50,395 Okay, I need you to rock with me. 529 00:31:51,233 --> 00:31:53,266 (Grunts) (Chokes) 530 00:31:53,301 --> 00:31:54,630 (Grunts) (Charlie gasps) 531 00:31:55,567 --> 00:31:56,599 (Liz yells) 532 00:31:56,634 --> 00:31:59,008 (Coughs, wheezes) 533 00:31:59,043 --> 00:32:01,703 (Coughing, wheezing) 534 00:32:01,738 --> 00:32:03,738 (Gasping) 535 00:32:04,774 --> 00:32:06,411 I'm okay. (Gasps) 536 00:32:07,546 --> 00:32:11,350 I'm okay. (Gasps) 537 00:32:11,385 --> 00:32:14,023 (Shouts) God damn it, Charlie, what is wrong with you? 538 00:32:14,058 --> 00:32:14,957 (Hits) 539 00:32:14,993 --> 00:32:17,191 Chew your food like a normal human being! 540 00:32:17,226 --> 00:32:19,127 You could have just died right in front of me! 541 00:32:19,162 --> 00:32:20,162 I'm sorry. 542 00:32:21,230 --> 00:32:24,132 (Charlie whimpers and sobs) 543 00:32:26,235 --> 00:32:27,267 I'm sorry, Liz. 544 00:32:39,380 --> 00:32:40,412 (Object clacks) 545 00:32:47,586 --> 00:32:48,717 (Liz exhales) 546 00:32:55,528 --> 00:32:56,528 It's okay. 547 00:33:20,619 --> 00:33:22,751 Charlie: I read through some of the posts 548 00:33:22,786 --> 00:33:25,721 in the class discussion forum this morning. 549 00:33:25,756 --> 00:33:28,262 In particular, a post 550 00:33:28,297 --> 00:33:32,530 about crafting a good thesis, and I quote, 551 00:33:32,565 --> 00:33:34,730 "just pick a sentence from the reading 552 00:33:34,765 --> 00:33:37,271 "and say, 'it's good, ' or some shit." 553 00:33:37,306 --> 00:33:40,340 Listen, at this point in the course, 554 00:33:40,375 --> 00:33:43,409 I have given you all that I can, 555 00:33:43,444 --> 00:33:46,775 in terms of structure, building a thesis, 556 00:33:46,810 --> 00:33:48,414 paragraph organization. 557 00:33:49,615 --> 00:33:52,484 But if all of that isn't built 558 00:33:52,519 --> 00:33:55,355 on your own original ideas and truthful analysis, 559 00:33:55,390 --> 00:33:56,686 it doesn't mean anything. 560 00:33:58,426 --> 00:34:00,624 Think about that as you write and revise. 561 00:34:00,659 --> 00:34:03,297 Think about the truth of your argument. 562 00:34:04,762 --> 00:34:08,731 I know this may sound silly, but it's important. 563 00:34:10,372 --> 00:34:12,801 Promise, it's important. 564 00:34:16,411 --> 00:34:17,806 (Bird chirping) 565 00:34:32,493 --> 00:34:34,559 (Breathing heavily) 566 00:34:43,603 --> 00:34:44,635 (Straining) 567 00:34:45,407 --> 00:34:46,571 (Key clatters) 568 00:34:53,580 --> 00:34:56,350 (Grunting softly) 569 00:35:04,954 --> 00:35:06,228 (Key clacks) 570 00:35:07,924 --> 00:35:09,198 (Claw clicks) 571 00:35:17,538 --> 00:35:19,505 (Muttering indistinctly) 572 00:35:22,477 --> 00:35:23,608 (Sighs) 573 00:35:31,882 --> 00:35:34,520 This is... (Exhales) 574 00:35:34,555 --> 00:35:37,193 You say that Walt Whitman wrote<i> song for myself.</i> 575 00:35:37,525 --> 00:35:38,722 Yeah? 576 00:35:38,757 --> 00:35:40,493 It's called<i> song of myself.</i> 577 00:35:42,332 --> 00:35:43,364 My title's better. 578 00:35:45,533 --> 00:35:46,533 Yeah. 579 00:35:47,568 --> 00:35:48,568 Well... 580 00:35:49,504 --> 00:35:50,544 Okay, I'll just change it. 581 00:35:52,342 --> 00:35:54,705 "The poem<i> song of myself</i> 582 00:35:54,740 --> 00:35:56,707 "is in a book called<i> leaves of grass.</i> 583 00:35:56,742 --> 00:35:58,412 "It was written by Walt Whitman 584 00:35:58,447 --> 00:36:00,612 "and was published in 1855. 585 00:36:00,647 --> 00:36:02,581 "He paid for the first publication himself." 586 00:36:02,616 --> 00:36:05,617 You don't have to read it out loud. Just rewrite it. 587 00:36:05,652 --> 00:36:07,685 You're supposed to analyze the poem. 588 00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:09,258 This is just a list of facts. 589 00:36:09,293 --> 00:36:11,458 Yup. Thank you, Wikipedia. 590 00:36:13,022 --> 00:36:14,725 (Smacks lips) 591 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,562 You know, it's really an amazing poem. 592 00:36:16,597 --> 00:36:20,368 Whitman uses the metaphor of "i" not to refer to himself, 593 00:36:20,403 --> 00:36:23,965 but to explode the very definition of self 594 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,473 in favor of a more all-encompassing... 595 00:36:26,508 --> 00:36:27,804 I really, really don't care. 596 00:36:32,481 --> 00:36:34,801 You know, I think you might like it if you actually read it. 597 00:36:35,847 --> 00:36:38,485 You're just like my teachers. 598 00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,883 You think just because I'm not losing my shit over the poem, 599 00:36:40,918 --> 00:36:42,357 it's because I didn't read it. 600 00:36:42,392 --> 00:36:43,358 I did read it. 601 00:36:43,393 --> 00:36:46,020 It's overwritten, and dumb, and repetitive. 602 00:36:46,055 --> 00:36:48,693 And even though he thinks his metaphor of "i" is deep, 603 00:36:48,728 --> 00:36:50,596 it's actually just a bunch of bullshit. 604 00:36:50,631 --> 00:36:51,564 And, in reality, 605 00:36:51,599 --> 00:36:54,831 he's just some worthless 19th century faggot. 606 00:36:57,374 --> 00:36:59,803 That's an interesting perspective. 607 00:36:59,838 --> 00:37:01,574 It would make for an interesting essay. 608 00:37:03,974 --> 00:37:07,041 Just write that thing about exploding the definition of self. 609 00:37:07,076 --> 00:37:08,515 My English teacher will love it. 610 00:37:13,082 --> 00:37:14,422 (Charlie sighs) 611 00:37:16,987 --> 00:37:19,823 So, how's your mom doing? Oh, my god. 612 00:37:21,563 --> 00:37:23,838 Look, if you're not gonna write these essays for me, then... 613 00:37:23,862 --> 00:37:27,600 Charlie: Ellie, I don't need you here to write these essays for you. 614 00:37:27,635 --> 00:37:29,305 If you want to go, you can go. 615 00:37:30,638 --> 00:37:31,798 You can still have the money. 616 00:37:34,576 --> 00:37:36,906 I thought you wanted to get to know me. I do, 617 00:37:36,941 --> 00:37:38,545 but I don't want to force you to be here. 618 00:37:40,384 --> 00:37:41,449 It's up to you. 619 00:37:44,982 --> 00:37:45,982 (Puts bag down) 620 00:37:47,556 --> 00:37:48,556 She's fine. 621 00:37:49,525 --> 00:37:50,623 Mom. I guess. 622 00:37:51,758 --> 00:37:54,022 She happy? When she drinks. 623 00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,565 You guys still live in that duplex over on orchard? 624 00:37:59,667 --> 00:38:00,987 You don't even know where we live? 625 00:38:03,704 --> 00:38:04,715 You don't stay in touch with mom? 626 00:38:04,739 --> 00:38:08,377 Yeah, I check in with her as often as she lets me. 627 00:38:08,412 --> 00:38:10,052 She really only tells me things about you. 628 00:38:10,810 --> 00:38:12,073 Why? 629 00:38:12,108 --> 00:38:13,877 Because that's all I want to know about. 630 00:38:20,149 --> 00:38:21,390 When I was 11, 631 00:38:21,425 --> 00:38:22,787 we moved to the other side of town, 632 00:38:23,658 --> 00:38:24,756 near the Walmart. 633 00:38:25,462 --> 00:38:26,462 Is your mother 634 00:38:27,563 --> 00:38:29,563 with anyone right now? No. 635 00:38:30,434 --> 00:38:32,126 Why, you interested? 636 00:38:32,161 --> 00:38:34,733 (Chuckles) No, of course not. 637 00:38:42,644 --> 00:38:44,039 Why'd you gain all that weight? 638 00:38:44,074 --> 00:38:45,340 (Inhales deeply) I don't... 639 00:38:45,376 --> 00:38:47,696 If you're gonna interrogate me, I'm gonna do the same thing. 640 00:38:50,047 --> 00:38:51,287 Why'd you gain all that weight? 641 00:38:55,591 --> 00:38:58,955 Someone close to me passed away, and it... 642 00:38:59,793 --> 00:39:01,991 It had an effect on me. 643 00:39:02,026 --> 00:39:03,026 Your boyfriend. 644 00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,864 My partner. Your student. 645 00:39:06,899 --> 00:39:09,031 He wasn't that young. It was a night school course. 646 00:39:09,066 --> 00:39:10,106 Ellie: Oh, I remember him. 647 00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:12,749 You had him over for dinner once 648 00:39:12,773 --> 00:39:14,707 when mom was in Montana, visiting grandma. 649 00:39:16,546 --> 00:39:17,644 You made steaks. 650 00:39:18,647 --> 00:39:20,141 The good kind. 651 00:39:20,176 --> 00:39:23,111 Better meal than you ever made for me or mom. 652 00:39:23,146 --> 00:39:25,652 I remember hearing you two talk after I went to bed. 653 00:39:28,954 --> 00:39:30,723 How do you remember all that? 654 00:39:30,758 --> 00:39:33,022 I told you, I never forget anything. 655 00:39:43,199 --> 00:39:44,199 How did he die? 656 00:39:46,202 --> 00:39:48,510 I... I don't... i'm... 657 00:39:48,545 --> 00:39:50,809 I really don't want to talk about that right now, 658 00:39:52,076 --> 00:39:53,581 if that's all right with you. 659 00:39:58,654 --> 00:40:00,654 (Cell phone keys clacking) 660 00:40:05,221 --> 00:40:06,693 I'll write these essays for you. 661 00:40:08,598 --> 00:40:11,764 I want you to do some writing, just for me. 662 00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:14,635 I hate writing essays. 663 00:40:14,670 --> 00:40:16,230 Just think about the poem for a while, 664 00:40:17,233 --> 00:40:18,233 and write something. 665 00:40:20,940 --> 00:40:22,841 Be honest. 666 00:40:22,876 --> 00:40:24,942 Tell me what you really think. 667 00:40:24,977 --> 00:40:26,680 You want me to write what I really think? 668 00:40:28,178 --> 00:40:29,243 I'll be right back. 669 00:40:30,587 --> 00:40:32,620 Just write whatever you want. 670 00:40:35,218 --> 00:40:38,593 (Charlie groaning with exertion) 671 00:40:40,927 --> 00:40:42,025 (Sighs heavily) 672 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,600 (Continues groaning) 673 00:40:45,635 --> 00:40:48,966 (Breathing heavily) 674 00:41:21,638 --> 00:41:23,033 (Water running) 675 00:41:25,642 --> 00:41:27,741 (Suppressed sobbing) 676 00:41:28,337 --> 00:41:30,876 (Muffled sobbing) 677 00:41:30,911 --> 00:41:32,746 (Water continues running) 678 00:41:34,112 --> 00:41:36,585 Are you okay? 679 00:41:36,620 --> 00:41:38,257 Unless you're dying, there's no way I'm going in there. 680 00:41:38,281 --> 00:41:39,819 (Sniffles) 681 00:41:39,854 --> 00:41:42,085 (Exhales) Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine. 682 00:41:48,896 --> 00:41:50,698 (Brid wings flapping) 683 00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,037 (Knock at door) 684 00:42:01,271 --> 00:42:03,041 (Water running) (Knocking continues) 685 00:42:06,914 --> 00:42:08,243 Hi. 686 00:42:08,278 --> 00:42:09,816 I was looking for Charlie? 687 00:42:10,412 --> 00:42:11,653 He's in the bathroom. 688 00:42:12,315 --> 00:42:13,721 Oh, I can come back. 689 00:42:19,124 --> 00:42:20,959 Are you his friend, or... 690 00:42:20,994 --> 00:42:22,290 I'm his daughter. 691 00:42:22,325 --> 00:42:24,831 Oh. Are you surprised? 692 00:42:25,834 --> 00:42:26,933 Yeah, I guess. 693 00:42:26,969 --> 00:42:28,945 What's more surprising? That a gay guy has a daughter, 694 00:42:28,969 --> 00:42:30,606 or that someone actually found his penis? 695 00:42:33,270 --> 00:42:34,270 I'm kidding. 696 00:42:35,338 --> 00:42:36,370 Jesus. 697 00:42:37,307 --> 00:42:38,506 Um... 698 00:42:38,542 --> 00:42:41,375 Charlie was interested in hearing more about my church, 699 00:42:41,410 --> 00:42:42,276 and I brought some literature... 700 00:42:42,311 --> 00:42:44,983 Are you mormon? No, I'm from new life. 701 00:42:45,018 --> 00:42:47,689 Oh. That end times cult thing. 702 00:42:47,724 --> 00:42:49,658 (Pours juice) It's not a cult. 703 00:42:49,693 --> 00:42:51,396 Tell you one thing that I like about religion. 704 00:42:51,420 --> 00:42:52,859 What I like about religion 705 00:42:52,894 --> 00:42:54,993 is that it assumes that everyone is an idiot 706 00:42:55,028 --> 00:42:56,973 and that they're all incapable of saving themselves. 707 00:42:56,997 --> 00:42:58,700 I think they got something right with that. 708 00:42:58,735 --> 00:42:59,866 I don't think like that... 709 00:42:59,901 --> 00:43:01,736 What I don't like about religion 710 00:43:01,771 --> 00:43:04,200 is that when people accept Jesus or whatever, 711 00:43:04,235 --> 00:43:05,872 they suddenly think that they're better 712 00:43:05,907 --> 00:43:06,984 than everyone else. (Charlie grunting) 713 00:43:07,008 --> 00:43:09,172 By accepting the fact that they're stupid sinners, 714 00:43:09,207 --> 00:43:12,406 somehow they've become better, and they turn into assholes. 715 00:43:14,982 --> 00:43:16,223 I don't really know what to say. 716 00:43:16,247 --> 00:43:18,214 I have some pamphlets that I think would... 717 00:43:18,249 --> 00:43:20,084 (Camera clicks) Why did you just do that? 718 00:43:20,119 --> 00:43:21,789 Are you coming back tomorrow? 719 00:43:21,824 --> 00:43:23,219 I'm not sure... Come back tomorrow. 720 00:43:23,254 --> 00:43:25,254 I'll be here around the same time. 721 00:43:25,289 --> 00:43:26,893 I'm sorry, what's happening? 722 00:43:27,456 --> 00:43:28,829 (Camera clicks) 723 00:43:29,293 --> 00:43:30,864 Oh! 724 00:43:30,899 --> 00:43:32,833 Hi. I was just coming over 725 00:43:32,868 --> 00:43:34,043 to share these pamphlets with you. 726 00:43:34,067 --> 00:43:35,427 You'll have those done by tomorrow? 727 00:43:36,036 --> 00:43:37,036 Sure. 728 00:43:37,807 --> 00:43:39,136 Five-page minimum. 729 00:43:39,171 --> 00:43:40,401 It'll be good, I promise. 730 00:43:43,747 --> 00:43:45,340 I'm Ellie. Thomas. 731 00:43:46,211 --> 00:43:48,277 (Breathes heavily) 732 00:43:49,346 --> 00:43:50,686 (Slams door shut) 733 00:43:54,285 --> 00:43:55,318 So... 734 00:43:55,353 --> 00:43:57,924 Christ's return has been promised for centuries. 735 00:43:57,959 --> 00:43:59,332 But there are a lot of clues in scripture 736 00:43:59,356 --> 00:44:00,522 that suggest it's imminent. 737 00:44:00,557 --> 00:44:02,929 So, that means we don't have time to deny the gospel, 738 00:44:02,964 --> 00:44:04,139 we don't have... Do you really think 739 00:44:04,163 --> 00:44:06,361 that the world's gonna end soon? 740 00:44:06,396 --> 00:44:08,374 Well, the Bible says that no one shall know the day 741 00:44:08,398 --> 00:44:09,903 or the hour, but, 742 00:44:09,938 --> 00:44:11,858 yeah, I think we're probably living in end times. 743 00:44:12,534 --> 00:44:13,940 And that doesn't bother you? 744 00:44:13,975 --> 00:44:15,337 No. It's the idea 745 00:44:15,372 --> 00:44:18,010 that a better world is coming to replace this one. 746 00:44:18,045 --> 00:44:20,408 That everything terrible about this country, 747 00:44:20,443 --> 00:44:22,278 this planet, is gonna be wiped clean, 748 00:44:22,313 --> 00:44:25,182 and replaced with something pure and holy, and... 749 00:44:25,217 --> 00:44:27,118 I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, 750 00:44:27,153 --> 00:44:29,021 but I know all this. 751 00:44:29,826 --> 00:44:31,089 What do you mean? 752 00:44:31,124 --> 00:44:33,355 I have probably read everything 753 00:44:33,390 --> 00:44:36,325 new life church has ever written. 754 00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:39,361 Probably every pamphlet they've ever published. 755 00:44:39,396 --> 00:44:41,869 Wow, that's great and everything, 756 00:44:41,904 --> 00:44:43,871 but these tracts are just the beginning. 757 00:44:43,906 --> 00:44:46,466 There's so much more in the Bible that we can... I read the Bible. 758 00:44:47,107 --> 00:44:48,436 Really? 759 00:44:48,471 --> 00:44:50,405 Sure. Couple times. 760 00:44:51,947 --> 00:44:53,408 Did you like it? 761 00:44:53,443 --> 00:44:55,949 I thought it was devastating. 762 00:44:55,984 --> 00:44:58,820 God creates us, expels us from paradise. 763 00:44:58,855 --> 00:45:01,823 We wander around for thousands of years killing each other, 764 00:45:01,858 --> 00:45:04,859 before he comes back and saves 144,000 of us. 765 00:45:04,894 --> 00:45:08,093 Meanwhile, seven- and-a-half billion of us fall into hell. 766 00:45:10,394 --> 00:45:12,427 Yeah. 767 00:45:12,462 --> 00:45:14,429 That's not really how I interpret it, but... 768 00:45:16,070 --> 00:45:17,872 Charlie, you have to understand, 769 00:45:18,941 --> 00:45:21,337 god hasn't turned his back on you. 770 00:45:21,372 --> 00:45:24,208 If you accept him, he'll release you from this. 771 00:45:24,243 --> 00:45:25,572 (Sipping) He'll take your soul 772 00:45:25,607 --> 00:45:27,948 out of this body and give you a brand-new body. 773 00:45:27,983 --> 00:45:30,115 One made of pure light. I mean, don't you want that? 774 00:45:30,150 --> 00:45:33,217 I'm not interested in being saved. 775 00:45:33,252 --> 00:45:34,889 (Sighs) I appreciate what you did 776 00:45:34,924 --> 00:45:37,056 the other day, but you can go. 777 00:45:37,091 --> 00:45:38,596 This doesn't sound like something that I... 778 00:45:38,620 --> 00:45:41,357 Look, I really think that god brought me here for a reason. 779 00:45:41,392 --> 00:45:43,359 There's a reason why I knocked on your door 780 00:45:43,394 --> 00:45:45,394 right when you needed someone the most. 781 00:45:45,429 --> 00:45:48,430 Isn't there any way I can help? 782 00:45:48,465 --> 00:45:49,576 I mean, that's the entire reason 783 00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,609 why I became a missionary in the first place, right? 784 00:45:51,633 --> 00:45:53,270 There's something you can do for me. 785 00:45:57,507 --> 00:46:00,508 What? Um, nothing I just... 786 00:46:00,543 --> 00:46:04,919 I hope you know I wasn't talking about, um... 787 00:46:05,482 --> 00:46:07,614 What? I'm not... 788 00:46:07,649 --> 00:46:09,583 Oh, my god. I'm... I'm sorry. I just... 789 00:46:09,618 --> 00:46:10,991 No. With what you were watching 790 00:46:11,026 --> 00:46:12,102 the first time I came in here, I just... 791 00:46:12,126 --> 00:46:14,225 (Chuckles) I am not attracted to you. 792 00:46:14,260 --> 00:46:17,459 Please, you gotta believe me when I say I'm not attracted to you. 793 00:46:17,494 --> 00:46:18,526 You're a fetus. 794 00:46:21,333 --> 00:46:22,530 I'm sorry. 795 00:46:24,204 --> 00:46:25,269 (Sighs) 796 00:46:29,374 --> 00:46:31,374 Thomas, tell me the truth. 797 00:46:34,379 --> 00:46:35,477 You find me disgusting? 798 00:46:38,922 --> 00:46:39,922 No. 799 00:46:42,486 --> 00:46:43,617 I just want to help. 800 00:46:44,653 --> 00:46:46,554 Please, just let me help. 801 00:46:56,038 --> 00:46:58,302 (Grunts softly) 802 00:46:58,337 --> 00:47:00,403 Thank you. That's very helpful. 803 00:47:07,346 --> 00:47:09,951 What happened to your... Sorry. Your friend, Liz, 804 00:47:09,986 --> 00:47:12,415 she said that your boyfriend, 805 00:47:12,450 --> 00:47:14,351 he used to go to new life? (Door opens) 806 00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:18,190 Liz: Charlie? Yeah. 807 00:47:19,061 --> 00:47:21,028 I got you this. 808 00:47:21,063 --> 00:47:22,524 I did some asking around, and... 809 00:47:24,726 --> 00:47:26,528 What the fuck is he doing here? 810 00:47:26,563 --> 00:47:28,266 He's just helping me with something. 811 00:47:28,301 --> 00:47:29,630 Take it easy, Liz. 812 00:47:29,665 --> 00:47:32,039 Okay, well, you can go now. 813 00:47:32,470 --> 00:47:33,470 Liz. 814 00:47:34,637 --> 00:47:35,637 Go home! 815 00:47:36,980 --> 00:47:38,441 Sorry. I'm sorry. Leave it. 816 00:47:38,476 --> 00:47:40,476 (Charlie grunts) I said, leave it! 817 00:47:40,511 --> 00:47:42,445 Charlie: Liz, would you stop? 818 00:47:44,383 --> 00:47:47,516 Actually, stay. We'll have a little chat. 819 00:47:51,555 --> 00:47:52,555 What's this? 820 00:47:54,030 --> 00:47:55,128 The fuck does it look like? 821 00:47:57,561 --> 00:47:59,561 It's a fat-guy wheelchair. 822 00:47:59,596 --> 00:48:01,563 And why do I need a wheelchair? 823 00:48:01,598 --> 00:48:04,698 I was talking to one of the er doctors, 824 00:48:04,733 --> 00:48:08,042 he said moderate activity would be a good idea. 825 00:48:08,077 --> 00:48:09,648 Sense of independence might help you out. 826 00:48:09,672 --> 00:48:10,849 And what did you pay for this thing? 827 00:48:10,873 --> 00:48:13,278 Nothing. We ordered it for a patient a few months ago. 828 00:48:13,313 --> 00:48:14,422 It's just been sitting around. 829 00:48:14,446 --> 00:48:15,606 What happened to the patient? 830 00:48:17,020 --> 00:48:19,053 Just try it out. 831 00:48:19,088 --> 00:48:20,088 Please. 832 00:48:21,123 --> 00:48:22,287 (Sighs) 833 00:48:23,026 --> 00:48:24,652 (Grunting) 834 00:48:27,591 --> 00:48:29,294 (Exhales sharply) 835 00:48:30,330 --> 00:48:33,727 Beep. Beep. Beep. 836 00:48:35,566 --> 00:48:38,468 (Laughing) 837 00:48:39,603 --> 00:48:41,207 Charlie: Can I sit? I gotcha. 838 00:48:42,408 --> 00:48:44,375 (Charlie groaning) 839 00:48:47,050 --> 00:48:48,115 (Chuckles) 840 00:48:49,448 --> 00:48:51,448 Good? Yeah, actually, this is really nice. 841 00:48:54,090 --> 00:48:55,353 Yeah. 842 00:48:55,388 --> 00:48:57,091 Let me clear some space for you. 843 00:48:57,654 --> 00:48:58,654 Charlie: Whee. 844 00:49:00,261 --> 00:49:01,261 Hello? 845 00:49:06,399 --> 00:49:07,530 Charlie: Look, no hands. 846 00:49:09,501 --> 00:49:11,435 Thank you, Liz. This is great, so great. 847 00:49:11,470 --> 00:49:14,669 (Chuckles) See? I told you. Charlie: I know. 848 00:49:14,704 --> 00:49:16,440 I should go. Ah-pap-pap. 849 00:49:16,475 --> 00:49:17,795 Not until we have our little chat. 850 00:49:19,148 --> 00:49:20,675 What? Liz: Come on. 851 00:49:27,387 --> 00:49:28,518 Liz. 852 00:49:28,553 --> 00:49:30,157 Just gimme a minute with him. 853 00:49:39,861 --> 00:49:41,432 (Dog barks in distance) 854 00:49:57,681 --> 00:49:58,681 Where are you from? 855 00:50:00,189 --> 00:50:01,222 What? 856 00:50:01,257 --> 00:50:03,217 You said you've only been here for a little while. 857 00:50:06,294 --> 00:50:07,755 Where you from? 858 00:50:07,790 --> 00:50:11,132 Uh, Iowa. A town called Waterloo? 859 00:50:11,761 --> 00:50:12,793 You asking me? 860 00:50:13,697 --> 00:50:15,169 No. I'm from Waterloo. 861 00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:17,204 Okay. 862 00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,305 Your whole family move out here for new life? 863 00:50:20,308 --> 00:50:21,769 No, it's just me. 864 00:50:21,804 --> 00:50:24,310 I wanted to do some missionary work before school. 865 00:50:24,345 --> 00:50:25,707 (Chuckles) 866 00:50:25,742 --> 00:50:28,149 You're from Iowa, 867 00:50:28,184 --> 00:50:31,449 and you came to Idaho to do missionary work? 868 00:50:31,484 --> 00:50:33,319 Why aren't you in Africa or something? 869 00:50:33,354 --> 00:50:35,156 Idaho needs the word as much as anywhere else. 870 00:50:42,231 --> 00:50:43,824 Okay, listen. 871 00:50:43,859 --> 00:50:45,463 I know this is fun for you. 872 00:50:45,498 --> 00:50:46,662 You get to travel around, 873 00:50:46,697 --> 00:50:48,301 act superior than everyone else, 874 00:50:49,436 --> 00:50:50,732 and eventually, you go home, 875 00:50:50,767 --> 00:50:52,866 get some boring job, have too many kids. 876 00:50:52,901 --> 00:50:53,733 It's god's plan. 877 00:50:53,769 --> 00:50:57,145 But there are other types of people. 878 00:50:57,180 --> 00:50:58,410 People like Charlie, 879 00:50:58,445 --> 00:51:01,644 for whom this amazing plan doesn't fit. 880 00:51:02,713 --> 00:51:05,846 So, just stay away from him. 881 00:51:05,881 --> 00:51:07,320 He doesn't need this right now. 882 00:51:09,654 --> 00:51:11,390 I disagree. 883 00:51:11,425 --> 00:51:14,162 (Exhales) Excuse me? Sorry, I just, uh... 884 00:51:14,197 --> 00:51:15,559 He's dying. 885 00:51:15,594 --> 00:51:17,198 He's refusing to go to the hospital. 886 00:51:17,233 --> 00:51:18,760 What he needs is spiritual guidance. 887 00:51:18,795 --> 00:51:20,267 And you're gonna give him that? 888 00:51:20,302 --> 00:51:22,302 No. God will. 889 00:51:24,933 --> 00:51:26,141 I see. 890 00:51:45,261 --> 00:51:47,360 My big brother did some missionary work for new life. 891 00:51:49,430 --> 00:51:50,660 Went to South America. 892 00:51:51,465 --> 00:51:53,630 Oh. Yeah. 893 00:51:53,665 --> 00:51:54,631 I was the black sheep. 894 00:51:54,666 --> 00:51:57,271 I refused to go to church ever since I was 12. 895 00:51:58,307 --> 00:51:59,702 Dad knew I was a lost cause, 896 00:52:02,245 --> 00:52:06,247 but not my brother, he loved new life. 897 00:52:06,282 --> 00:52:08,348 He wrote me a letter a few months after he left, 898 00:52:08,383 --> 00:52:10,482 told me he was tired, 899 00:52:10,517 --> 00:52:11,956 and lonely, but he didn't want to come home 900 00:52:11,980 --> 00:52:13,460 because he didn't want to get married. 901 00:52:14,455 --> 00:52:15,630 He didn't want to get married? 902 00:52:15,654 --> 00:52:17,423 Dad had set it all up. 903 00:52:17,458 --> 00:52:18,424 Pushed him into getting married 904 00:52:18,459 --> 00:52:21,823 to this girl from the church he barely knew. 905 00:52:21,858 --> 00:52:24,397 But when he came back, he met someone else. 906 00:52:24,432 --> 00:52:26,432 Fell in love, started a whole new life. 907 00:52:26,467 --> 00:52:29,501 And dad kicked him out of the church. 908 00:52:30,405 --> 00:52:31,437 And the family. 909 00:52:33,309 --> 00:52:34,539 I thought he was gonna be able 910 00:52:34,574 --> 00:52:36,607 to get over all that religious stuff, 911 00:52:36,642 --> 00:52:39,907 but it was like a cancer. 912 00:52:39,942 --> 00:52:42,481 He couldn't shake it. 913 00:52:42,516 --> 00:52:44,318 He just caved in on himself, 914 00:52:44,353 --> 00:52:45,781 stopped sleeping, stopped eating. 915 00:52:45,816 --> 00:52:46,947 Lost a ton of weight. 916 00:52:48,654 --> 00:52:50,522 One night, he doesn't come home. 917 00:52:52,658 --> 00:52:54,559 Couple weeks later, this guy is out jogging 918 00:52:54,594 --> 00:52:56,396 on a bike path near the river in lewiston, 919 00:52:56,431 --> 00:52:57,991 sees something washed up on shore, 920 00:52:58,026 --> 00:52:59,828 and that was Alan. 921 00:53:02,305 --> 00:53:04,470 The love of Charlie's life, and my brother. 922 00:53:05,968 --> 00:53:08,408 Oh. Yeah. "Oh." 923 00:53:08,443 --> 00:53:10,938 To this day, my dad won't admit it. 924 00:53:10,973 --> 00:53:13,479 Told the whole congregation Alan's death was... 925 00:53:15,417 --> 00:53:17,450 Just an unfortunate accident. 926 00:53:20,081 --> 00:53:22,851 Denying him to the end. 927 00:53:31,862 --> 00:53:34,830 Look, I know that you don't trust me. 928 00:53:34,865 --> 00:53:37,503 And I know that I haven't known him for very long, 929 00:53:37,538 --> 00:53:40,473 but I really think that god brought me here, 930 00:53:40,508 --> 00:53:42,673 right when Charlie needs it the most. 931 00:53:42,708 --> 00:53:45,544 I just want him to be saved, that's all... You listen to me! 932 00:53:45,579 --> 00:53:46,908 He doesn't need saving! 933 00:53:48,076 --> 00:53:50,582 In a few days, he's probably going to be dead, 934 00:53:50,617 --> 00:53:53,046 so what he needs is for you to leave him alone. 935 00:53:53,081 --> 00:53:54,718 I'm the only one who can help him. 936 00:53:54,753 --> 00:53:56,049 You understand me? Charlie: Liz. 937 00:54:05,027 --> 00:54:06,565 (Liz sighs) 938 00:54:10,098 --> 00:54:12,835 (Cutlery clacking) 939 00:54:18,711 --> 00:54:20,546 (Charlie wheezes softly) 940 00:54:22,715 --> 00:54:24,077 (TV turns on) 941 00:54:24,112 --> 00:54:26,981 You wanna watch some<i> Maury?</i> 942 00:54:28,556 --> 00:54:29,984 Sounds good, right? 943 00:54:30,019 --> 00:54:33,526 (Indistinct chatter on TV) 944 00:54:33,561 --> 00:54:35,099 Actually, I got another night shift tonight. 945 00:54:35,123 --> 00:54:36,727 I better, uh... 946 00:54:36,762 --> 00:54:37,762 You good for the night? 947 00:54:39,765 --> 00:54:42,062 (Smacks lips) I'll leave the remote here. 948 00:54:47,509 --> 00:54:49,036 (Door opens) 949 00:54:52,811 --> 00:54:53,843 (Door closes) 950 00:54:55,913 --> 00:54:57,385 (Lock clicks) 951 00:55:18,738 --> 00:55:20,100 (Grunts softly) 952 00:55:22,676 --> 00:55:25,138 (Light switch clicking) 953 00:55:28,209 --> 00:55:29,483 (Sighs) 954 00:55:36,085 --> 00:55:37,557 (Sighs) 955 00:55:43,499 --> 00:55:45,895 (Sniffing) 956 00:55:47,767 --> 00:55:49,965 (Chuckles softly) 957 00:56:00,780 --> 00:56:01,780 (Door shuts) 958 00:56:12,121 --> 00:56:13,494 (Knock at door) 959 00:56:13,529 --> 00:56:14,924 Man: Gambino's! 960 00:56:14,959 --> 00:56:16,959 Yeah. You can, uh... 961 00:56:16,994 --> 00:56:19,192 Man: Money in the mailbox, leave it on the bench. 962 00:56:20,503 --> 00:56:21,799 Yeah. Thanks. 963 00:56:23,869 --> 00:56:24,869 Man: I'm Dan. 964 00:56:27,609 --> 00:56:28,806 What? 965 00:56:28,841 --> 00:56:31,776 Dan: I just... My name, it's Dan. 966 00:56:33,681 --> 00:56:36,143 I've been coming here for a while now. 967 00:56:36,178 --> 00:56:38,178 Just thought you'd wanna know my name. 968 00:56:40,820 --> 00:56:41,852 Charlie. 969 00:56:43,152 --> 00:56:44,657 Dan: Hey, Charlie. 970 00:56:44,692 --> 00:56:46,989 (Mailbox opens, closes) 971 00:56:47,024 --> 00:56:48,221 Dan: Have a good night, okay? 972 00:56:49,026 --> 00:56:52,896 (Footsteps receding) 973 00:56:56,836 --> 00:56:58,069 <i>It sure did.</i> 974 00:56:58,104 --> 00:57:00,640 <i>More Idaho Republicans want to see senator Ted Cruz</i> 975 00:57:00,675 --> 00:57:02,576 <i>in the white house than any other candidate.</i> 976 00:57:02,611 --> 00:57:05,546 <i>Cruz will split Idaho's 32 delegates</i> 977 00:57:05,581 --> 00:57:06,881 <i>with Donald Trump,</i> 978 00:57:06,916 --> 00:57:10,144 <i>the only other candidate to clear that 20% threshold.</i> 979 00:57:10,179 --> 00:57:13,213 <i>It was a disappointing night for senator Marco rubio</i> 980 00:57:13,248 --> 00:57:15,116 <i>who failed to win any delegates</i> 981 00:57:15,151 --> 00:57:17,855 <i>in the four states</i> <i>that held primaries, while...</i> (Switches TV off) 982 00:57:25,029 --> 00:57:26,897 (Wheelchair squeaking) 983 00:57:45,016 --> 00:57:46,851 "This apartment smells. 984 00:57:46,886 --> 00:57:50,921 "This notebook is retarded. I hate everyone." 985 00:57:52,694 --> 00:57:53,694 (Sighs) 986 00:58:00,163 --> 00:58:02,999 (Syllabically) This apartment smells. 987 00:58:03,034 --> 00:58:07,135 This notebook is retarded. 988 00:58:07,170 --> 00:58:10,105 I hate everyone. (Laughing) 989 00:58:12,780 --> 00:58:14,175 (Coughing, wheezing) 990 00:58:14,210 --> 00:58:16,782 (Grunting in pain) 991 00:58:16,817 --> 00:58:18,311 (Coughs) 992 00:58:18,346 --> 00:58:22,018 (Breathing laboriously) 993 00:58:23,692 --> 00:58:25,285 And I felt saddest of all 994 00:58:26,321 --> 00:58:28,189 when I read the boring chapters 995 00:58:29,390 --> 00:58:31,599 that were only descriptions of whales 996 00:58:32,393 --> 00:58:34,063 because (exhales) I knew 997 00:58:35,869 --> 00:58:38,672 that the author was just trying to save us 998 00:58:38,707 --> 00:58:40,201 from his own sad story, 999 00:58:41,402 --> 00:58:42,841 just for a little while. 1000 00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:46,108 (Breathes deeply) 1001 00:58:46,143 --> 00:58:47,615 This apartment smells. 1002 00:58:49,949 --> 00:58:52,180 (Inhales deeply) This apartment smells. 1003 00:58:55,218 --> 00:58:56,954 The author was just trying to save us 1004 00:58:56,989 --> 00:58:58,219 from his own sad story. 1005 00:58:59,893 --> 00:59:01,057 I hate everyone. 1006 00:59:05,393 --> 00:59:06,601 I hate everyone. 1007 00:59:12,334 --> 00:59:13,334 Do you have it? 1008 00:59:14,270 --> 00:59:15,302 Charlie: I'm almost done. 1009 00:59:17,779 --> 00:59:20,747 You can wait while I finish it up, 1010 00:59:23,213 --> 00:59:24,245 print it out. 1011 00:59:27,085 --> 00:59:29,085 Maybe while you're waiting, 1012 00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:31,989 you can write some more in your notebook. Oh, my god. 1013 00:59:32,024 --> 00:59:34,189 You've only written a couple sentences so far. 1014 00:59:34,224 --> 00:59:35,056 Can you write more? 1015 00:59:35,092 --> 00:59:37,093 I kind of hate you. (Chuckling) Yeah. 1016 00:59:37,128 --> 00:59:39,733 Well, you hate everyone. 1017 00:59:40,769 --> 00:59:42,362 Listen, just keep going. 1018 00:59:43,299 --> 00:59:44,299 Forget about the poem. 1019 00:59:44,334 --> 00:59:47,235 Write whatever you want, whatever you're thinking. 1020 00:59:47,270 --> 00:59:48,874 (Bag thuds) Okay. Be quiet, just... 1021 00:59:59,447 --> 01:00:01,051 (Exhales deeply) 1022 01:00:05,761 --> 01:00:08,894 You know, I was in a really strange place in my life 1023 01:00:08,929 --> 01:00:10,863 when I married your mom. Did I fucking ask? 1024 01:00:12,064 --> 01:00:13,767 I just wish... 1025 01:00:13,802 --> 01:00:14,999 I'm sor... I'm sorry. 1026 01:00:25,407 --> 01:00:27,176 I understand that you're angry. 1027 01:00:28,344 --> 01:00:29,475 (Breathes heavily) 1028 01:00:29,510 --> 01:00:30,751 But... 1029 01:00:33,349 --> 01:00:37,857 You don't have to be angry at the whole world. 1030 01:00:41,258 --> 01:00:43,830 You can just be angry at me. 1031 01:00:43,865 --> 01:00:45,106 (Aggressively) Okay, you know what? 1032 01:00:45,130 --> 01:00:47,361 You can't throw me away like a piece of garbage, 1033 01:00:47,396 --> 01:00:50,804 and then suddenly just want to be my dad eight years later. 1034 01:00:50,839 --> 01:00:53,741 You left me for your boyfriend. 1035 01:00:53,776 --> 01:00:55,743 (Sighs) It's that simple. 1036 01:00:55,778 --> 01:00:57,349 And if you've been telling yourself anything different, 1037 01:00:57,373 --> 01:00:58,812 then you're lying to yourself. 1038 01:01:03,082 --> 01:01:04,281 But you know what? I'm glad. 1039 01:01:04,317 --> 01:01:07,348 I'm glad, because you taught me something very important. 1040 01:01:08,087 --> 01:01:10,857 People are assholes. 1041 01:01:11,926 --> 01:01:13,420 Most people learn that way too late. 1042 01:01:14,555 --> 01:01:16,896 You... you taught me that when I was eight. 1043 01:01:19,362 --> 01:01:20,735 Thank you for that. 1044 01:01:31,176 --> 01:01:32,274 You know, you could've... 1045 01:01:33,508 --> 01:01:35,376 What? 1046 01:01:35,411 --> 01:01:37,051 Ellie: You could've been sending us money. 1047 01:01:38,986 --> 01:01:40,920 If you had all that money saved up, 1048 01:01:40,955 --> 01:01:42,196 and wanted to be a part of my life so bad, 1049 01:01:42,220 --> 01:01:43,956 you could've been sending money to mom. 1050 01:01:43,991 --> 01:01:44,957 I did. 1051 01:01:44,992 --> 01:01:46,992 Ellie: Yeah, I mean more than just child support. 1052 01:01:57,972 --> 01:01:59,004 I did. 1053 01:02:00,942 --> 01:02:04,405 When I left your mom, she did not want me around you. 1054 01:02:05,309 --> 01:02:06,913 I hoped 1055 01:02:06,948 --> 01:02:09,883 that she would change her mind eventually, but she... 1056 01:02:09,918 --> 01:02:11,511 You could have just fucking called me. 1057 01:02:13,053 --> 01:02:14,151 All this time, you... 1058 01:02:15,451 --> 01:02:17,187 You could have been a part of my life. 1059 01:02:19,059 --> 01:02:20,157 Ellie. 1060 01:02:22,029 --> 01:02:23,094 Look at me. 1061 01:02:29,267 --> 01:02:31,839 Who would want me to be a part of their life? 1062 01:02:43,985 --> 01:02:45,083 I'm hungry. 1063 01:02:47,153 --> 01:02:49,252 There's some stuff for sandwiches in the fridge. 1064 01:02:54,391 --> 01:02:56,226 I'll make you one, but it's going to be small. 1065 01:03:00,562 --> 01:03:02,265 And I'm only using Turkey, 1066 01:03:03,103 --> 01:03:04,267 and no mayonnaise. 1067 01:03:09,637 --> 01:03:11,340 What? Nothing. 1068 01:03:12,607 --> 01:03:14,508 You're an amazing person, Ellie. 1069 01:03:14,543 --> 01:03:18,281 I hope you know what an amazing person you are. 1070 01:03:18,316 --> 01:03:21,482 I couldn't ask for a more incredible daughter. 1071 01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,190 I'll print that out for you now. 1072 01:03:33,166 --> 01:03:34,198 (Bird wings flap) 1073 01:03:41,339 --> 01:03:42,910 (Keyboard clacking) 1074 01:03:46,674 --> 01:03:47,948 (Grating) 1075 01:03:50,282 --> 01:03:51,282 (Lighter clicks) 1076 01:03:52,086 --> 01:03:54,086 (Charlie breathes heavily) 1077 01:04:13,107 --> 01:04:14,238 (Lighter clicks) 1078 01:04:29,189 --> 01:04:30,551 (Snores softly) 1079 01:04:30,586 --> 01:04:31,586 (Pills rattle) 1080 01:04:48,274 --> 01:04:49,669 (Door creaks) 1081 01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:16,498 (Knock at door) 1082 01:05:20,735 --> 01:05:22,471 (Knock at door) Ellie: Yeah? 1083 01:05:22,506 --> 01:05:24,209 Thomas: Uh... hello? 1084 01:05:27,181 --> 01:05:28,510 (Knocks) Hi. 1085 01:05:30,283 --> 01:05:31,283 Ellie: Come on. 1086 01:05:32,549 --> 01:05:33,680 Is he... 1087 01:05:33,715 --> 01:05:34,814 Is he okay? I don't know. 1088 01:05:34,850 --> 01:05:37,288 I ground up some Ambien and I put it in his sandwich. 1089 01:05:37,323 --> 01:05:38,388 What? 1090 01:05:38,423 --> 01:05:40,093 I only gave him a couple. He's fine. 1091 01:05:40,128 --> 01:05:41,270 I can take, like, three at a time. 1092 01:05:41,294 --> 01:05:42,469 Thomas: Where did you get Ambien? 1093 01:05:42,493 --> 01:05:43,624 I had sex with a pharmacist. 1094 01:05:45,628 --> 01:05:47,430 I'm kidding. Gross. 1095 01:05:47,465 --> 01:05:49,168 My mom pops them like tic tacs. 1096 01:05:49,203 --> 01:05:51,071 I don't know if he should be taking Ambien. 1097 01:05:53,537 --> 01:05:56,076 Does this make you nervous? 'Cause it's just pot. 1098 01:05:56,111 --> 01:05:57,803 It's not like I'm smoking meth or anything. 1099 01:05:57,838 --> 01:05:59,706 I know. I... I know what pot is, okay? 1100 01:05:59,741 --> 01:06:01,675 No. You only think you know what pot is 1101 01:06:01,710 --> 01:06:03,820 because your parents told you a bunch of lies about it. 1102 01:06:03,844 --> 01:06:05,481 Don't. I know what drugs are. 1103 01:06:05,516 --> 01:06:08,385 I've smoked pot before. Ooh. Oh, I'm so impressed. 1104 01:06:08,420 --> 01:06:10,189 I wasn't trying to impress you. 1105 01:06:10,224 --> 01:06:12,488 You've not smoked pot before. Yes, I have. It... 1106 01:06:14,492 --> 01:06:15,623 It was kind of a problem. 1107 01:06:16,791 --> 01:06:18,197 That is the stupidest fucking thing 1108 01:06:18,232 --> 01:06:19,064 I've ever heard in my entire life. 1109 01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:21,728 I was smoking every day. I had a problem. 1110 01:06:21,763 --> 01:06:24,830 You were a stoner. You had a hobby. 1111 01:06:24,865 --> 01:06:26,810 All right, I'm gonna go. Just tell him I was here and I'll... 1112 01:06:26,834 --> 01:06:29,252 If you leave, I'll feed him the rest of the pills I have in the bottle. 1113 01:06:29,276 --> 01:06:30,836 What? Yeah. 1114 01:06:30,871 --> 01:06:33,608 There's, like, 20, 30 more in here. 1115 01:06:34,545 --> 01:06:35,808 I'll crush them up, 1116 01:06:35,843 --> 01:06:37,843 I'll put them in some water, (Puts bottle down) 1117 01:06:37,878 --> 01:06:39,251 And I'll pour it down his throat. 1118 01:06:40,188 --> 01:06:41,330 You wouldn't actually do that, 1119 01:06:41,354 --> 01:06:42,485 would you? Sit down. 1120 01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:51,000 So, why do you keep coming back here? 1121 01:06:52,893 --> 01:06:54,134 He needs help. 1122 01:06:55,269 --> 01:06:56,312 He needs god in his life right now. 1123 01:06:56,336 --> 01:06:57,401 That's a stupid reason. 1124 01:06:58,635 --> 01:07:00,800 Do you think he wants to have sex with you? 1125 01:07:00,835 --> 01:07:03,209 That is so gross, oh, my god. Take a hit. 1126 01:07:03,244 --> 01:07:04,617 I don't want... If you don't take a hit, 1127 01:07:04,641 --> 01:07:05,941 I'm gonna call the police 1128 01:07:05,976 --> 01:07:08,376 and I'm gonna tell them that you tried to rape me. Take a hit. 1129 01:07:10,581 --> 01:07:11,811 I don't understand you at all. 1130 01:07:12,451 --> 01:07:13,451 Oh, my god. 1131 01:07:14,783 --> 01:07:16,288 Is there a carb on this? 1132 01:07:16,323 --> 01:07:17,718 Ooh, I'm impressed. 1133 01:07:17,753 --> 01:07:19,456 I wasn't trying to impress you. 1134 01:07:19,491 --> 01:07:20,523 There isn't a carb. 1135 01:07:24,694 --> 01:07:25,858 (Sighs) 1136 01:07:30,370 --> 01:07:31,534 (Camera clicks) (Coughs) 1137 01:07:32,537 --> 01:07:33,636 Calm down. 1138 01:07:33,672 --> 01:07:35,351 (Coughing) What are you gonna do with that picture? 1139 01:07:35,375 --> 01:07:36,704 I'm gonna masturbate to it. 1140 01:07:36,739 --> 01:07:37,848 Is that what you want me to say? 1141 01:07:37,872 --> 01:07:39,245 You're a pervert. Take another hit. 1142 01:07:41,249 --> 01:07:43,348 Look, I'm just fucking with you, all right? 1143 01:07:43,383 --> 01:07:44,811 I'm not gonna kill anyone, 1144 01:07:44,846 --> 01:07:47,847 I'm not gonna tell anyone that you tried to rape me. 1145 01:07:47,882 --> 01:07:49,464 You're not going to give him any more Ambien? 1146 01:07:49,488 --> 01:07:50,751 Ellie: No. (Pills rattle) 1147 01:07:50,786 --> 01:07:52,489 (Zips bag) 1148 01:07:52,524 --> 01:07:54,194 Why do you keep coming back here? 1149 01:07:56,594 --> 01:07:58,330 I don't know. 1150 01:07:58,365 --> 01:07:59,870 Seriously, if you hate him so much, then why... 1151 01:07:59,894 --> 01:08:01,432 I'm done answering questions now. 1152 01:08:07,704 --> 01:08:08,802 Can I take another hit? 1153 01:08:10,608 --> 01:08:11,838 It goes against your religion, 1154 01:08:13,314 --> 01:08:14,554 and that makes you a hypocrite. 1155 01:08:16,482 --> 01:08:17,482 Go ahead. 1156 01:08:22,917 --> 01:08:24,191 (Inhales) 1157 01:08:26,459 --> 01:08:28,492 (Camera clicks) 1158 01:08:28,527 --> 01:08:29,735 I really wish that you wouldn't do that. 1159 01:08:29,759 --> 01:08:31,363 Yeah, I know. I heard you the first time. 1160 01:08:32,564 --> 01:08:33,604 Do you find me attractive? 1161 01:08:34,401 --> 01:08:35,598 (Hesitates) 1162 01:08:35,633 --> 01:08:37,534 Because I'm not attracted to you at all, 1163 01:08:38,306 --> 01:08:40,240 just to let you know. 1164 01:08:40,275 --> 01:08:41,450 I'm not trying to be mean or anything. 1165 01:08:41,474 --> 01:08:43,194 I just don't think you're very good-looking, 1166 01:08:43,740 --> 01:08:44,772 or interesting. 1167 01:08:45,511 --> 01:08:46,511 Or intelligent. 1168 01:08:46,809 --> 01:08:47,874 (Scoffs) 1169 01:08:48,943 --> 01:08:50,382 Oh, my god, grow up. 1170 01:08:50,417 --> 01:08:51,724 Maybe someone else finds you attractive. 1171 01:08:51,748 --> 01:08:52,714 Maybe my dad finds you attractive. 1172 01:08:52,749 --> 01:08:54,815 I really wish you... You know, it is so easy 1173 01:08:54,850 --> 01:08:55,890 to make you uncomfortable. 1174 01:08:55,917 --> 01:08:57,554 It's honestly... It's a little sad. 1175 01:08:58,458 --> 01:08:59,458 You can cash that out. 1176 01:09:13,539 --> 01:09:16,441 (Scoffs) If my parents knew I was getting high, 1177 01:09:16,476 --> 01:09:17,882 getting high while out witnessing for the church... 1178 01:09:17,906 --> 01:09:18,906 You're not from new life. 1179 01:09:20,711 --> 01:09:21,777 What? 1180 01:09:21,812 --> 01:09:24,614 There's a kid in the grade below me who goes there. 1181 01:09:24,649 --> 01:09:25,758 He told me that they stopped doing 1182 01:09:25,782 --> 01:09:27,617 door-to-door stuff last year 1183 01:09:27,652 --> 01:09:29,850 when some woman was out preaching or whatever, 1184 01:09:29,885 --> 01:09:31,984 and a guy answered the door with no clothes on. 1185 01:09:33,427 --> 01:09:35,427 I gotta go. Who are you, really? 1186 01:09:36,958 --> 01:09:38,430 Come on, just tell me! 1187 01:09:39,664 --> 01:09:41,477 Thomas: Why do you care? Because I think we have 1188 01:09:41,501 --> 01:09:42,698 a blossoming friendship. 1189 01:09:44,405 --> 01:09:45,569 You're just messing with me. 1190 01:09:46,968 --> 01:09:48,275 Ellie: No, I'm not. 1191 01:09:49,476 --> 01:09:50,756 You're not going to tell anyone? 1192 01:09:52,347 --> 01:09:53,347 Who am I gonna tell? 1193 01:10:01,620 --> 01:10:02,685 I was on a mission. 1194 01:10:06,394 --> 01:10:08,394 With a group from my church, back in Waterloo, 1195 01:10:09,628 --> 01:10:10,891 my hometown in Iowa. 1196 01:10:12,367 --> 01:10:13,894 When my dad caught me smoking pot, 1197 01:10:13,929 --> 01:10:16,600 he thought a mission would be a good idea. 1198 01:10:16,635 --> 01:10:19,735 I mean, the truth is, he's just embarrassed by me 1199 01:10:19,770 --> 01:10:21,968 and wanted me gone for a while. 1200 01:10:22,839 --> 01:10:24,971 Anyway, I just left. 1201 01:10:28,416 --> 01:10:29,514 I couldn't do it anymore. 1202 01:10:31,551 --> 01:10:32,551 Why? 1203 01:10:33,685 --> 01:10:34,717 The mission leader, 1204 01:10:36,523 --> 01:10:37,489 this guy, Jerry, 1205 01:10:37,524 --> 01:10:39,095 all he had us doing was standing on corners 1206 01:10:39,119 --> 01:10:41,053 and handing out pamphlets. 1207 01:10:41,088 --> 01:10:42,527 The end of each day, he'd be like, 1208 01:10:42,562 --> 01:10:44,282 "look how many people we're helping," but... 1209 01:10:44,927 --> 01:10:45,992 I tried to talk to him 1210 01:10:46,027 --> 01:10:47,405 about different ways we can minister. 1211 01:10:47,429 --> 01:10:50,733 I mean, different ways that we could actually help people. But... 1212 01:10:52,033 --> 01:10:54,506 You could just tell that he didn't need to earn 1213 01:10:54,541 --> 01:10:55,903 or prove his faith at all. 1214 01:10:59,040 --> 01:11:02,514 After a while, I was just, like, "am I really helping?" 1215 01:11:03,748 --> 01:11:05,583 No. You were not. 1216 01:11:07,147 --> 01:11:08,817 Yeah, I started to feel that way, too. 1217 01:11:10,854 --> 01:11:11,753 I don't feel that way, 1218 01:11:11,789 --> 01:11:14,053 I know that you weren't helping people. 1219 01:11:14,088 --> 01:11:15,461 It doesn't help people to tell them 1220 01:11:15,496 --> 01:11:16,704 that they should believe in god. 1221 01:11:16,728 --> 01:11:17,808 Why would that help people? 1222 01:11:18,796 --> 01:11:20,565 Thomas: I just thought... 1223 01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:22,534 I see all my family, my friends, 1224 01:11:24,065 --> 01:11:25,471 they're all just so happy. 1225 01:11:30,511 --> 01:11:31,708 I just want to be like that. 1226 01:11:33,943 --> 01:11:35,008 So, why'd you leave, then? 1227 01:11:36,715 --> 01:11:39,078 I was worried I was gonna get arrested. 1228 01:11:40,015 --> 01:11:41,015 For smoking pot? 1229 01:11:42,721 --> 01:11:43,921 For stealing from the mission. 1230 01:11:51,961 --> 01:11:54,896 One day, I ditched the pamphlets. 1231 01:11:54,931 --> 01:11:55,830 I went door-to-door. 1232 01:11:55,866 --> 01:11:57,833 I started actually engaging with people. 1233 01:11:57,868 --> 01:12:00,737 Finally. I mean, it felt like I was doing something, 1234 01:12:00,772 --> 01:12:01,837 helping someone. 1235 01:12:03,610 --> 01:12:05,544 (Scoffs) 1236 01:12:05,579 --> 01:12:08,514 And that night, I went back to the mission meeting, 1237 01:12:08,549 --> 01:12:09,988 and I told everyone what I did that day, 1238 01:12:10,012 --> 01:12:11,924 and Jerry was like, "that's not what we do, buddy." 1239 01:12:11,948 --> 01:12:13,248 And I was like, "well, why not?" 1240 01:12:13,283 --> 01:12:15,643 And we got in this huge argument in front of everyone, and... 1241 01:12:16,788 --> 01:12:17,820 (Sighs) 1242 01:12:20,462 --> 01:12:23,628 And that night, I decided to leave. 1243 01:12:23,663 --> 01:12:25,696 And when everyone was asleep, I... 1244 01:12:25,731 --> 01:12:26,829 I took the petty cash. 1245 01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:29,865 Ellie: How much? 1246 01:12:33,508 --> 01:12:35,541 $2,436. 1247 01:12:37,743 --> 01:12:39,072 Oh. 1248 01:12:39,107 --> 01:12:40,480 Thomas: Yeah. "Oh." 1249 01:12:42,517 --> 01:12:43,517 I got on a bus. 1250 01:12:44,816 --> 01:12:46,684 Jerry and my parents were calling me 1251 01:12:46,719 --> 01:12:47,949 over and over again. 1252 01:12:49,722 --> 01:12:51,084 I just tossed my phone. 1253 01:12:53,759 --> 01:12:56,529 After a while, I wound up here. 1254 01:13:00,667 --> 01:13:02,601 Thomas: I thought I could use this money 1255 01:13:02,636 --> 01:13:03,767 for my own mission. 1256 01:13:05,573 --> 01:13:08,134 You know, see my faith save just one person. 1257 01:13:09,874 --> 01:13:11,907 But now I'm almost out of money. I just... 1258 01:13:13,273 --> 01:13:15,548 I can't go home, and... 1259 01:13:15,583 --> 01:13:17,110 My parents probably wanna disown me. 1260 01:13:22,953 --> 01:13:24,233 (Sighs) I don't know what to do. 1261 01:13:35,064 --> 01:13:36,668 You're more interesting to me now. 1262 01:13:39,706 --> 01:13:40,738 Thanks. 1263 01:13:53,555 --> 01:13:54,995 So, that's why you wanna save my dad. 1264 01:13:59,825 --> 01:14:00,825 (Door opens) 1265 01:14:05,963 --> 01:14:06,963 (Camera clicks) 1266 01:14:09,604 --> 01:14:10,604 (Main door lock clicks) 1267 01:14:15,940 --> 01:14:17,104 Mom? 1268 01:14:17,139 --> 01:14:18,677 Don't freak out. Shut up. 1269 01:14:21,143 --> 01:14:22,175 Liz: You again? 1270 01:14:23,046 --> 01:14:24,210 Charlie? 1271 01:14:24,751 --> 01:14:25,751 Charlie? 1272 01:14:27,886 --> 01:14:28,951 Charlie? 1273 01:14:30,251 --> 01:14:31,690 (Softly) Charlie. 1274 01:14:38,765 --> 01:14:39,995 (Charlie coughs) 1275 01:14:44,232 --> 01:14:45,264 (Lighter clicks) 1276 01:14:46,366 --> 01:14:47,640 Not with the oxygen tank. 1277 01:14:49,875 --> 01:14:50,875 I'll stand by the window. 1278 01:14:52,647 --> 01:14:53,647 (Liz sighs) 1279 01:14:57,883 --> 01:15:00,983 Ellie told you she was coming over? 1280 01:15:01,018 --> 01:15:02,721 Liz: No. I did. 1281 01:15:02,756 --> 01:15:04,052 And just in time, looks like. 1282 01:15:05,220 --> 01:15:06,989 You having any more pain? 1283 01:15:07,024 --> 01:15:08,694 (Grunts softly) 1284 01:15:08,729 --> 01:15:10,190 (Sighs) How easy is it to move? 1285 01:15:11,061 --> 01:15:12,258 Not very. 1286 01:15:12,293 --> 01:15:14,832 Any confusion? Have you felt disoriented, 1287 01:15:14,867 --> 01:15:16,273 forgotten where you are or what you're doing? 1288 01:15:16,297 --> 01:15:19,903 Am I okay? No, you're not okay. 1289 01:15:19,938 --> 01:15:21,377 But as far as the sleeping pills, you're fine. 1290 01:15:21,401 --> 01:15:22,774 I don't think she gave you much. 1291 01:15:22,809 --> 01:15:23,969 Yeah, that's what I told you. 1292 01:15:26,142 --> 01:15:27,680 You know, I was a very angry, 1293 01:15:27,715 --> 01:15:28,892 very stupid little girl once, too, 1294 01:15:28,916 --> 01:15:30,628 but if you would've given him any more pills than that... 1295 01:15:30,652 --> 01:15:32,058 Yeah, but I didn't give him more pills than that, 1296 01:15:32,082 --> 01:15:33,752 I gave him two pills. Ellie? 1297 01:15:34,953 --> 01:15:36,233 How much money did he offer you? 1298 01:15:42,191 --> 01:15:44,191 All of it? How do you know about the money? 1299 01:15:44,996 --> 01:15:47,161 You think I'm an idiot? 1300 01:15:47,196 --> 01:15:49,075 You think I would believe that you were coming over here 1301 01:15:49,099 --> 01:15:50,419 out of the kindness of your heart? 1302 01:15:51,431 --> 01:15:54,806 (Laughs) Charlie doesn't have any money. 1303 01:15:54,841 --> 01:15:56,808 (Liz continues laughing) 1304 01:15:56,843 --> 01:15:58,678 She doesn't know? Charlie: Mary. 1305 01:15:58,713 --> 01:15:59,756 Where do you think all the money 1306 01:15:59,780 --> 01:16:01,060 from his teaching has been going? 1307 01:16:01,980 --> 01:16:03,144 The account for Ellie? 1308 01:16:03,179 --> 01:16:05,212 By now, it has to be huge. 1309 01:16:05,247 --> 01:16:06,884 Over $100,000 at least, right? 1310 01:16:08,789 --> 01:16:09,986 (Wheezes softly) 1311 01:16:12,452 --> 01:16:13,858 That's not true, is it? 1312 01:16:17,798 --> 01:16:18,929 Charlie. 1313 01:16:20,295 --> 01:16:22,295 We could have gotten you anything you needed. 1314 01:16:23,771 --> 01:16:25,199 Special beds, physical therapists, 1315 01:16:25,234 --> 01:16:27,267 fucking health insurance! 1316 01:16:29,810 --> 01:16:31,216 Last winter, when my pick-up broke down 1317 01:16:31,240 --> 01:16:32,448 and I had to walk through the snow 1318 01:16:32,472 --> 01:16:33,812 to get your groceries for you... 1319 01:16:33,847 --> 01:16:35,242 I offered to get your truck fixed. 1320 01:16:35,277 --> 01:16:38,113 Yeah, and I refused because I thought you had $700 1321 01:16:38,148 --> 01:16:40,346 in your bank account. The money is for Ellie. 1322 01:16:41,756 --> 01:16:43,756 It's always been for Ellie. 1323 01:16:43,791 --> 01:16:46,154 If there was ever any kind of emergency, 1324 01:16:46,189 --> 01:16:48,057 I would have given you the money. Would you? 1325 01:16:52,030 --> 01:16:53,062 Wait. 1326 01:16:53,097 --> 01:16:55,801 (Panting) 1327 01:16:56,969 --> 01:16:58,298 Wait. (Door shuts) 1328 01:17:01,402 --> 01:17:02,918 Mom, you're not getting any of my money. 1329 01:17:02,942 --> 01:17:03,942 Mary: Oh, shut up, Ellie. 1330 01:17:05,780 --> 01:17:07,373 Leave, right now. 1331 01:17:10,785 --> 01:17:12,118 Wait. 1332 01:17:12,153 --> 01:17:15,216 Ellie, I know you didn't mean to hurt me. I know you didn't... 1333 01:17:15,251 --> 01:17:16,866 Okay, you know what? Listen to me. Listen. 1334 01:17:16,890 --> 01:17:18,725 I don't care about you! 1335 01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:20,287 Get that through your fucking skull. 1336 01:17:20,322 --> 01:17:22,729 (Crying) Ellie, please. Just fucking die already! 1337 01:17:23,259 --> 01:17:24,698 Enough! 1338 01:17:28,132 --> 01:17:29,395 Ellie, your... your essay. 1339 01:17:33,170 --> 01:17:34,170 (Opens drawer) 1340 01:17:37,812 --> 01:17:40,274 So... it's... 1341 01:17:43,246 --> 01:17:44,751 It's a really good essay! 1342 01:17:48,119 --> 01:17:49,987 (Sobs, wheezes) 1343 01:17:51,089 --> 01:17:52,418 (Coughs) 1344 01:18:12,374 --> 01:18:14,407 (Wheezes) Jesus, Charlie. 1345 01:18:22,351 --> 01:18:23,416 Do you have anything? 1346 01:18:27,829 --> 01:18:29,257 It's above the sink, 1347 01:18:29,292 --> 01:18:31,226 the kitchen counter on the left. 1348 01:18:33,296 --> 01:18:35,230 The other one. (Sniffles) Yup. 1349 01:18:37,300 --> 01:18:39,465 (Coughing, wheezing) 1350 01:18:39,500 --> 01:18:41,368 Mary: Our deal was 1351 01:18:41,403 --> 01:18:43,684 to wait until she's out of the house to give her the money. 1352 01:18:44,274 --> 01:18:45,911 What's the difference? 1353 01:18:45,946 --> 01:18:49,915 The difference is she's 17 and still in high school. 1354 01:18:49,950 --> 01:18:52,852 She's gonna spend it on face tattoos or ponies, or something. 1355 01:18:52,887 --> 01:18:55,151 I think that she's a lot smarter than that. 1356 01:18:55,186 --> 01:18:56,383 (Mary scoffs) 1357 01:18:58,387 --> 01:18:59,387 So... 1358 01:19:02,490 --> 01:19:03,490 How's it been? 1359 01:19:04,932 --> 01:19:06,800 Getting to know her. (Chuckles softly) 1360 01:19:07,902 --> 01:19:10,232 She's amazing. (Mary chuckles) 1361 01:19:10,267 --> 01:19:12,267 (Sighs) You still do that. 1362 01:19:14,106 --> 01:19:15,106 What? 1363 01:19:16,042 --> 01:19:17,470 That positivity. 1364 01:19:19,210 --> 01:19:20,210 It's so annoying. 1365 01:19:21,245 --> 01:19:22,442 You're a complete cynic. 1366 01:19:24,050 --> 01:19:25,918 Just trying to balance us out. 1367 01:19:25,953 --> 01:19:27,953 Yeah. I guess I do miss that. 1368 01:19:29,154 --> 01:19:30,186 That one thing. 1369 01:19:31,618 --> 01:19:32,826 Just that? 1370 01:19:34,654 --> 01:19:36,929 That, and the cooking. 1371 01:19:36,964 --> 01:19:39,932 Last month, tried to make a stir-fry thing. Charlie: Yeah? 1372 01:19:39,967 --> 01:19:41,637 Almost set the entire apartment building on fire. 1373 01:19:41,661 --> 01:19:43,199 (Laughs) 1374 01:19:43,234 --> 01:19:45,102 (Coughing) 1375 01:19:46,171 --> 01:19:48,171 (Gasps, coughs) 1376 01:19:48,536 --> 01:19:50,008 (Gasping) 1377 01:19:50,043 --> 01:19:53,979 (Continues coughing) 1378 01:19:54,949 --> 01:19:56,146 (Breathes deeply) 1379 01:20:02,990 --> 01:20:04,710 I never knew you were doing this to yourself. 1380 01:20:06,224 --> 01:20:08,323 Well, you never asked how I was doing. 1381 01:20:09,656 --> 01:20:11,425 You never asked how I was doing either. 1382 01:20:12,659 --> 01:20:14,626 Every month, it's just, 1383 01:20:14,661 --> 01:20:17,497 "how much money do you need?" Or, "how's Ellie?" 1384 01:20:17,532 --> 01:20:20,566 You didn't tell me that she's flunking out of school. 1385 01:20:20,601 --> 01:20:22,205 I guess I just didn't need the lecture 1386 01:20:22,240 --> 01:20:23,943 about my involvement in her education. 1387 01:20:23,978 --> 01:20:26,440 That is not what I... (Exhales) 1388 01:20:29,544 --> 01:20:30,544 (Exhales) 1389 01:20:32,481 --> 01:20:34,085 How're you doing, Mary? (Scoffs) 1390 01:20:39,620 --> 01:20:43,028 I know I'm not supposed to be around her. 1391 01:20:43,063 --> 01:20:46,625 You could probably call the police if you wanted to. Oh, Christ. 1392 01:20:46,660 --> 01:20:48,165 You really think I'd do that? 1393 01:20:48,200 --> 01:20:50,970 You fought me pretty hard for full custody. 1394 01:20:51,005 --> 01:20:53,236 And I don't blame you for keeping her from me. 1395 01:20:53,271 --> 01:20:57,405 Charlie, need I remind you that you left us. 1396 01:20:58,177 --> 01:20:59,308 I know. 1397 01:20:59,343 --> 01:21:01,244 And I was left raising our kid 1398 01:21:01,279 --> 01:21:04,577 and explaining to people that my husband left me for a man. 1399 01:21:04,612 --> 01:21:07,151 But you didn't have to cut me out of her life like that. 1400 01:21:07,186 --> 01:21:08,319 Oh, please. 1401 01:21:08,354 --> 01:21:10,495 You were more than happy to forget about us for a while. 1402 01:21:10,519 --> 01:21:11,519 You know that. 1403 01:21:13,456 --> 01:21:15,423 I know I made a lot of mistakes. 1404 01:21:17,658 --> 01:21:20,593 But I just wanted to see her, Mary. 1405 01:21:20,628 --> 01:21:23,101 I've always just... Just wanted to see her. 1406 01:21:24,500 --> 01:21:25,565 It's all about you. 1407 01:21:27,404 --> 01:21:29,140 Even now, huh? 1408 01:21:29,769 --> 01:21:31,538 (Charlie sighs heavily) 1409 01:21:31,573 --> 01:21:33,243 Now you know why I kept you from her. 1410 01:21:34,312 --> 01:21:35,312 What? 1411 01:21:37,051 --> 01:21:39,986 She's awful. Isn't she? 1412 01:21:40,021 --> 01:21:43,319 She's a terror. And you think it's my fault. 1413 01:21:43,354 --> 01:21:48,159 Wait, is that why you kept her from me all this time? 1414 01:21:48,194 --> 01:21:52,361 Because you thought that I would think that you're a bad mother? 1415 01:21:53,463 --> 01:21:54,463 At first. 1416 01:21:55,729 --> 01:21:58,730 But later, when she was 15, 16, 1417 01:22:01,075 --> 01:22:02,503 I was worried she would hurt you. 1418 01:22:03,143 --> 01:22:04,143 Hurt me? 1419 01:22:05,376 --> 01:22:06,474 It's ridiculous. 1420 01:22:06,509 --> 01:22:08,311 I don't take any pleasure in admitting it. 1421 01:22:08,346 --> 01:22:10,742 I'm her mother, for Christ's sake. 1422 01:22:10,777 --> 01:22:13,580 You know, I spent way too much time telling myself, 1423 01:22:13,615 --> 01:22:16,022 you know, "she's just rebellious, 1424 01:22:16,057 --> 01:22:17,188 "she's just difficult." 1425 01:22:19,555 --> 01:22:22,193 Charlie, she's evil. 1426 01:22:23,559 --> 01:22:24,723 She's not evil. 1427 01:22:31,468 --> 01:22:32,500 What are you doing? 1428 01:22:38,442 --> 01:22:40,046 (Mary typing) You think it's just me? 1429 01:22:51,752 --> 01:22:55,094 "There'll be a grease fire in hell when he starts to burn." 1430 01:23:02,532 --> 01:23:03,532 Don't feel bad. 1431 01:23:05,106 --> 01:23:07,238 I've made quite a few appearances on that thing. 1432 01:23:10,870 --> 01:23:12,243 She's a strong writer. 1433 01:23:14,412 --> 01:23:16,181 (Raises voice) That's your response? 1434 01:23:16,216 --> 01:23:17,281 This isn't evil. 1435 01:23:17,778 --> 01:23:19,382 This is honesty. 1436 01:23:19,417 --> 01:23:21,813 Do you know how much bullshit I've read in my life? 1437 01:23:21,848 --> 01:23:24,684 My god, I don't understand you, Charlie! 1438 01:23:24,719 --> 01:23:26,719 Every time I call and ask you how she's doing, 1439 01:23:26,754 --> 01:23:28,094 you say, "she's fine." 1440 01:23:28,756 --> 01:23:30,327 If she's so evil, then... 1441 01:23:30,362 --> 01:23:31,867 (Mary shouting) What was I supposed to tell you? 1442 01:23:31,891 --> 01:23:34,562 Huh? That she was off making her classmates cry 1443 01:23:34,597 --> 01:23:36,135 or slashing her teachers' tires? 1444 01:23:36,170 --> 01:23:37,444 You didn't want to hear that stuff! 1445 01:23:37,468 --> 01:23:38,567 I could have helped her! 1446 01:23:38,603 --> 01:23:42,141 She doesn't want your help! She doesn't want anyone! 1447 01:23:42,176 --> 01:23:44,143 You think I didn't want her to have a dad? 1448 01:23:44,838 --> 01:23:46,508 She adored you! 1449 01:23:46,543 --> 01:23:48,389 The only reason you married me in the first place 1450 01:23:48,413 --> 01:23:50,215 was to have a kid, I know that! 1451 01:23:50,250 --> 01:23:51,414 Mary, please! 1452 01:23:52,153 --> 01:23:53,218 (Mary sighs) 1453 01:23:57,290 --> 01:24:00,489 Well, this brings back memories, doesn't it? 1454 01:24:02,526 --> 01:24:03,624 (Sighs) 1455 01:24:04,660 --> 01:24:06,198 (Wheezes, coughs) 1456 01:24:19,675 --> 01:24:20,675 Listen. 1457 01:24:23,514 --> 01:24:25,448 I never got to say that I was sorry. 1458 01:24:27,353 --> 01:24:29,716 What would you have to be sorry about? 1459 01:24:29,751 --> 01:24:30,816 That's not what I mean. 1460 01:24:32,490 --> 01:24:33,490 I mean... 1461 01:24:38,265 --> 01:24:40,562 About your friend. 1462 01:24:41,928 --> 01:24:43,136 Oh. 1463 01:24:46,669 --> 01:24:47,734 His name was Alan. 1464 01:24:47,769 --> 01:24:49,439 I know his fucking name, Charlie. 1465 01:24:54,215 --> 01:24:55,215 I saw him once, 1466 01:24:56,811 --> 01:24:58,250 in the Walmart parking lot. 1467 01:24:59,220 --> 01:25:00,086 He wasn't looking too good, 1468 01:25:00,121 --> 01:25:02,155 and I don't think it was long before he... 1469 01:25:04,390 --> 01:25:06,819 Anyway, I had all these things that I... 1470 01:25:06,854 --> 01:25:07,854 I wanted to say to him, 1471 01:25:07,889 --> 01:25:09,756 you know, hurl at him like bricks. (Sniffles) 1472 01:25:10,528 --> 01:25:12,495 But I... 1473 01:25:12,530 --> 01:25:14,167 I asked if he wanted some help. 1474 01:25:16,633 --> 01:25:18,633 He let me carry a couple of bags to his car, 1475 01:25:19,933 --> 01:25:21,240 he said thank you, 1476 01:25:22,837 --> 01:25:23,837 and I left. 1477 01:25:27,677 --> 01:25:29,281 I never even told him who I was. 1478 01:25:32,880 --> 01:25:34,385 (Wheezes softly) 1479 01:25:35,751 --> 01:25:37,355 (Wheezing) 1480 01:25:38,391 --> 01:25:39,423 You're wheezing. 1481 01:25:40,789 --> 01:25:43,526 Yeah, it's gotten worse. 1482 01:25:44,430 --> 01:25:45,561 Should I call someone? 1483 01:25:46,300 --> 01:25:48,333 No. Um... 1484 01:25:53,604 --> 01:25:54,702 You'll let me hear? 1485 01:26:03,614 --> 01:26:04,778 (Grunts) 1486 01:26:19,630 --> 01:26:20,695 (Hoarsely) How do I sound? 1487 01:26:28,639 --> 01:26:30,969 That was the first time we've all been together 1488 01:26:31,004 --> 01:26:33,774 in almost nine years. Do you realize that? 1489 01:26:33,809 --> 01:26:34,940 (Chuckles dryly) 1490 01:26:43,555 --> 01:26:45,489 When Ellie was little, 1491 01:26:45,524 --> 01:26:49,262 when we took that trip to the Oregon coast together, 1492 01:26:50,331 --> 01:26:52,397 Ellie played in the sand, and... 1493 01:26:52,762 --> 01:26:53,860 (Sniffles) 1494 01:26:53,895 --> 01:26:55,763 We laid out on the beach. 1495 01:26:57,096 --> 01:26:58,733 I went swimming in the ocean. 1496 01:27:01,408 --> 01:27:03,903 That was the last time I ever went swimming, actually. 1497 01:27:06,974 --> 01:27:09,414 I kept cutting my legs on the rocks. 1498 01:27:12,980 --> 01:27:14,980 The water was so cold. 1499 01:27:15,015 --> 01:27:16,487 (Ocean waves splashing) 1500 01:27:26,697 --> 01:27:30,501 And you were so mad that my legs bled 1501 01:27:30,536 --> 01:27:32,800 and stained the seats in the minivan. 1502 01:27:32,835 --> 01:27:34,068 (Chuckles) 1503 01:27:34,103 --> 01:27:38,707 And you said, for days after that, I smelled like seawater. 1504 01:27:38,742 --> 01:27:40,676 (Charlie laughs) (Sniffles) 1505 01:27:40,711 --> 01:27:42,414 (Wheezes) You remember that? 1506 01:27:42,449 --> 01:27:45,483 (Coughing) 1507 01:27:46,486 --> 01:27:48,046 (Sniffles) 1508 01:27:49,984 --> 01:27:51,324 You sound awful. 1509 01:27:52,822 --> 01:27:55,020 (Sighs) I'm dying, Mary. 1510 01:27:59,092 --> 01:28:00,092 Fuck you. 1511 01:28:02,029 --> 01:28:03,369 I'm sorry. 1512 01:28:04,834 --> 01:28:05,932 Fuck you. 1513 01:28:08,838 --> 01:28:09,969 (Crying) For sure? 1514 01:28:10,840 --> 01:28:13,478 Yeah. For sure. 1515 01:28:13,513 --> 01:28:15,612 (Cries, sighs) 1516 01:28:15,647 --> 01:28:16,844 Charlie: Listen to me. 1517 01:28:19,849 --> 01:28:22,388 I need to make certain that she's going to be okay. 1518 01:28:23,490 --> 01:28:24,687 We can't give up on her. 1519 01:28:25,525 --> 01:28:27,151 You already gave up on her! 1520 01:28:27,186 --> 01:28:29,120 You gave up on her when she was eight years old! 1521 01:28:29,155 --> 01:28:32,156 I wish I could have been a part of her life, Mary, 1522 01:28:32,191 --> 01:28:34,059 a part of both of your lives. 1523 01:28:34,094 --> 01:28:35,094 Go to the hospital. 1524 01:28:36,470 --> 01:28:38,701 You have money, just go to the hospital! 1525 01:28:39,770 --> 01:28:44,102 We both know that that money is for Ellie. 1526 01:28:45,105 --> 01:28:49,481 But beyond that, 1527 01:28:49,516 --> 01:28:53,584 I need to know that she's gonna have a decent life. 1528 01:28:54,719 --> 01:28:56,917 Where she cares about people 1529 01:28:56,952 --> 01:28:59,051 and other people care about her. 1530 01:29:00,560 --> 01:29:02,560 (Crying) And she's gonna be okay. 1531 01:29:03,563 --> 01:29:04,529 I need to go. Mary. 1532 01:29:04,564 --> 01:29:08,093 She doesn't have anyone else! I have to go. 1533 01:29:08,128 --> 01:29:10,766 (Crying) I need to know that I have done 1534 01:29:10,801 --> 01:29:13,604 one thing right with my life! 1535 01:29:17,170 --> 01:29:18,576 We both played our parts. 1536 01:29:20,074 --> 01:29:22,613 I raised her, and you're giving her the money. 1537 01:29:23,242 --> 01:29:24,549 It's the best we could do. 1538 01:29:26,619 --> 01:29:27,750 (Sighs) 1539 01:29:30,623 --> 01:29:31,623 Do you need anything 1540 01:29:33,054 --> 01:29:34,086 before I leave? 1541 01:29:35,089 --> 01:29:36,429 Water, or something. 1542 01:29:37,663 --> 01:29:39,058 (Coughs) 1543 01:29:44,263 --> 01:29:45,669 (Sighs) 1544 01:29:45,968 --> 01:29:47,165 (Coughs) 1545 01:29:58,585 --> 01:29:59,716 (Phone button beeps) 1546 01:29:59,751 --> 01:30:02,147 (Snoring) (Thunder rumbles) 1547 01:30:03,788 --> 01:30:05,755 (Rain pouring) 1548 01:30:07,990 --> 01:30:10,529 (Thunder rumbling) 1549 01:30:10,564 --> 01:30:11,959 (Coughs) 1550 01:30:26,008 --> 01:30:27,579 (Water trickling) 1551 01:30:45,863 --> 01:30:47,192 (Knock at door) 1552 01:30:47,227 --> 01:30:48,864 Dan: Gambino's! 1553 01:30:48,899 --> 01:30:50,998 (Charlie coughing) Yeah. 1554 01:30:51,033 --> 01:30:52,033 Dan: Charlie? 1555 01:30:53,233 --> 01:30:54,233 You okay? 1556 01:30:56,038 --> 01:30:57,906 Charlie: Yeah. (Clears throat) 1557 01:30:59,580 --> 01:31:01,107 The money is in the, um... 1558 01:31:02,682 --> 01:31:03,714 Dan: Sure. 1559 01:31:03,749 --> 01:31:04,946 (Mailbox opens) 1560 01:31:07,786 --> 01:31:09,148 Dan: You sure you're doing okay? 1561 01:31:11,251 --> 01:31:13,251 Yeah. Thanks, Dan. 1562 01:31:13,286 --> 01:31:15,088 Dan: Have a good night, okay? 1563 01:31:15,761 --> 01:31:16,859 (Mailbox closes) 1564 01:31:22,064 --> 01:31:23,998 (Rain pouring heavily) 1565 01:31:40,852 --> 01:31:41,852 (Mumbles) 1566 01:31:54,800 --> 01:31:56,932 (Intense music playing) 1567 01:32:09,111 --> 01:32:11,111 (Breathing heavily) 1568 01:32:16,756 --> 01:32:18,283 (Thunder rumbling) 1569 01:32:25,391 --> 01:32:26,797 (Typing) 1570 01:32:35,368 --> 01:32:37,005 (Whispering) Fuck these essays. 1571 01:32:38,074 --> 01:32:39,238 Fuck these readings. 1572 01:32:41,814 --> 01:32:45,915 Just write something fucking honest. (Banging keyboard) 1573 01:32:49,723 --> 01:32:50,723 (Slams laptop shut) 1574 01:32:51,252 --> 01:32:52,252 (Sighs) 1575 01:32:55,223 --> 01:32:57,355 (Intense music continues) 1576 01:33:39,938 --> 01:33:41,333 (Retches) 1577 01:33:41,368 --> 01:33:42,807 (Spits) 1578 01:33:42,842 --> 01:33:44,743 (Coughs, wheezes) 1579 01:33:45,438 --> 01:33:47,108 (Gasps) 1580 01:33:47,440 --> 01:33:50,309 (Coughing) 1581 01:33:54,315 --> 01:33:56,150 (Continues coughing) 1582 01:33:57,450 --> 01:33:58,823 (Stifles sob) 1583 01:33:59,353 --> 01:34:01,485 (Sobbing) 1584 01:34:01,520 --> 01:34:03,223 (Coughs, sobs) 1585 01:34:08,934 --> 01:34:11,165 (Continues sobbing) 1586 01:34:11,200 --> 01:34:12,705 (Coughs) 1587 01:34:15,776 --> 01:34:16,940 (Knock at door) 1588 01:34:16,975 --> 01:34:18,304 (Gasps) Liz? 1589 01:34:20,176 --> 01:34:22,209 (Knocking continues) 1590 01:34:22,244 --> 01:34:23,375 Thomas: Can I come inside? 1591 01:34:25,148 --> 01:34:26,180 It's not locked. 1592 01:34:28,448 --> 01:34:29,755 Hi. What's wrong? 1593 01:34:30,417 --> 01:34:31,922 Thank you. For what? 1594 01:34:31,957 --> 01:34:34,826 Look, I'm not exactly who I said I was. 1595 01:34:34,861 --> 01:34:36,454 I'm not from new life. 1596 01:34:36,489 --> 01:34:38,060 What? I... I don't... 1597 01:34:38,095 --> 01:34:40,029 I've been in a pretty bad place recently. 1598 01:34:40,064 --> 01:34:41,426 I... I stole some money, 1599 01:34:41,461 --> 01:34:43,461 and I ran away from home a few months ago. 1600 01:34:43,496 --> 01:34:46,332 And your daughter, she took these pictures of me smoking pot, 1601 01:34:46,367 --> 01:34:48,774 and a recording or something like that, 1602 01:34:48,809 --> 01:34:50,974 and she found my church in Waterloo somehow, 1603 01:34:51,009 --> 01:34:52,173 and then she sent it to them, 1604 01:34:52,208 --> 01:34:53,911 and they sent it to my parents... Wait. 1605 01:34:53,946 --> 01:34:55,146 And you know what they said? 1606 01:34:56,080 --> 01:34:57,112 "It's just money." 1607 01:34:58,214 --> 01:35:00,115 And they forgive me. 1608 01:35:00,150 --> 01:35:02,920 And they love me, and they want me to come home. 1609 01:35:04,517 --> 01:35:06,055 How awful is that? 1610 01:35:07,157 --> 01:35:09,828 Ellie, she... She did all that? 1611 01:35:09,863 --> 01:35:14,096 I can't tell if she was trying to help me or hurt me or... 1612 01:35:14,131 --> 01:35:15,438 Do you ever get that feeling from her? (Chuckles) 1613 01:35:15,462 --> 01:35:17,099 How did she even... she... 1614 01:35:18,971 --> 01:35:21,840 She found your church, she tracked down your parents. 1615 01:35:23,173 --> 01:35:24,469 She really did all that? 1616 01:35:24,504 --> 01:35:26,207 Yeah. I mean, I'm going home tomorrow. 1617 01:35:27,309 --> 01:35:28,946 But, Charlie, before I go... (Laughs) 1618 01:35:28,981 --> 01:35:30,376 I have to show you this. 1619 01:35:30,411 --> 01:35:32,312 (Breathes uncomfortably) 1620 01:35:32,347 --> 01:35:33,951 What... what's wrong? (Grunts heavily) 1621 01:35:33,986 --> 01:35:35,216 Wait, are you okay? 1622 01:35:35,251 --> 01:35:37,251 It just hurts. Charlie, 1623 01:35:37,286 --> 01:35:39,517 I want to help you. I know I can help you. 1624 01:35:39,552 --> 01:35:41,453 I'm not going to the hospital. 1625 01:35:41,488 --> 01:35:42,993 No, I know. I'm not gonna make you go. 1626 01:35:43,028 --> 01:35:44,291 But I can help you. 1627 01:35:46,262 --> 01:35:47,877 "Therefore, brothers and sisters..." What are you doing? 1628 01:35:47,901 --> 01:35:49,197 "We have an obligation, 1629 01:35:49,232 --> 01:35:51,430 "but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it. 1630 01:35:51,465 --> 01:35:54,202 "For if you live according to the flesh, you will die. 1631 01:35:54,237 --> 01:35:56,567 "But if by the spirit you put to death 1632 01:35:56,602 --> 01:35:59,174 "the misdeeds of the body, then you will live." 1633 01:35:59,209 --> 01:36:01,077 I... I don't understand. 1634 01:36:01,112 --> 01:36:04,014 Charlie, when I read this, I finally got it. 1635 01:36:04,049 --> 01:36:07,380 I finally understood why god brought me here to you. 1636 01:36:07,415 --> 01:36:09,547 So I could help you understand what happened to Alan, 1637 01:36:09,582 --> 01:36:11,087 so it doesn't happen to you, too. 1638 01:36:14,125 --> 01:36:15,058 How did you get this? 1639 01:36:15,093 --> 01:36:18,490 Charlie, Alan tried to escape god's will. 1640 01:36:18,525 --> 01:36:20,899 He chose his life with you over god. 1641 01:36:20,934 --> 01:36:24,496 But this is why he was so obsessed with this verse. 1642 01:36:24,531 --> 01:36:26,300 He knew that he was living in the flesh, 1643 01:36:26,335 --> 01:36:27,568 and not in the spirit. 1644 01:36:27,603 --> 01:36:30,942 He never prayed for salvation, but it's not too late for you. 1645 01:36:30,977 --> 01:36:32,537 Through the spirit, you can put to death 1646 01:36:32,572 --> 01:36:34,913 the misdeeds of the body, and you will live. 1647 01:36:36,510 --> 01:36:39,049 You think Alan died because he chose to be with me? 1648 01:36:41,350 --> 01:36:42,987 You think god turned his back on him 1649 01:36:43,022 --> 01:36:44,222 because he and I were in love? 1650 01:36:48,423 --> 01:36:49,423 Yes. 1651 01:36:54,330 --> 01:36:55,330 (Sighs) 1652 01:36:58,037 --> 01:37:00,334 You know something? I wasn't always this big. 1653 01:37:01,700 --> 01:37:03,975 Yeah, I know. 1654 01:37:04,010 --> 01:37:06,307 I mean, I wasn't the best-looking guy in the room, but... 1655 01:37:08,014 --> 01:37:09,014 Alan loved me. 1656 01:37:12,084 --> 01:37:13,182 He thought I was beautiful. 1657 01:37:17,716 --> 01:37:18,924 Okay. 1658 01:37:21,126 --> 01:37:22,895 Halfway through the semester, 1659 01:37:24,327 --> 01:37:27,966 he started meeting me during my office hours. 1660 01:37:28,001 --> 01:37:32,168 And we were... We were crazy about one another. 1661 01:37:32,203 --> 01:37:34,236 But we waited 1662 01:37:34,271 --> 01:37:37,008 until the class was over before... 1663 01:37:37,043 --> 01:37:38,076 This isn't, uh... 1664 01:37:38,111 --> 01:37:41,441 It was just after classes had ended for the year. 1665 01:37:41,476 --> 01:37:43,377 It was perfect temperature outside. 1666 01:37:44,446 --> 01:37:46,347 We took a walk in the arboretum, 1667 01:37:48,989 --> 01:37:50,021 and we kissed. 1668 01:37:50,518 --> 01:37:52,287 Charlie, stop. 1669 01:37:52,322 --> 01:37:55,653 We would spend entire nights lying together, naked. 1670 01:37:58,262 --> 01:37:59,360 We would make love. 1671 01:38:05,071 --> 01:38:06,169 We would make love. 1672 01:38:09,438 --> 01:38:11,108 Do you find that disgusting? 1673 01:38:11,143 --> 01:38:12,736 Charlie, god is ready to help you. 1674 01:38:12,771 --> 01:38:16,311 Oh, I hope that there isn't a god, 1675 01:38:16,346 --> 01:38:19,050 because I hate to think that there's an afterlife, 1676 01:38:19,085 --> 01:38:22,548 and that Alan can see what I have done to myself. 1677 01:38:22,583 --> 01:38:25,650 Charlie... That he can see my swollen feet 1678 01:38:25,685 --> 01:38:27,553 and the sores on my skin, 1679 01:38:27,588 --> 01:38:29,027 and the patches of mold 1680 01:38:29,062 --> 01:38:30,325 in between the flaps. Stop. 1681 01:38:30,360 --> 01:38:32,393 The infected ulcers on my ass, 1682 01:38:32,428 --> 01:38:36,100 and the sack of fat on my back that turned brown last year. 1683 01:38:36,135 --> 01:38:38,102 Okay, stop! This is disgusting? 1684 01:38:38,137 --> 01:38:40,203 Yes! I'm disgusting? 1685 01:38:40,238 --> 01:38:42,106 (Shouting) Yes, you're disgusting! You're... 1686 01:38:53,548 --> 01:38:55,317 (Breath shuddering, whispering) I'm sorry. 1687 01:38:59,125 --> 01:39:00,125 What? 1688 01:39:03,459 --> 01:39:05,459 Go home to your family. 1689 01:39:16,142 --> 01:39:18,340 (Charlie coughs) (Door opens) 1690 01:39:19,739 --> 01:39:24,049 (Door closes) (Continues coughing) 1691 01:39:25,712 --> 01:39:27,349 (Coughs heavily) 1692 01:39:54,675 --> 01:39:57,544 Charlie: Well, your complaints have been heard. 1693 01:39:58,382 --> 01:39:59,546 I've been replaced 1694 01:39:59,581 --> 01:40:01,713 by someone who will, no doubt, 1695 01:40:01,748 --> 01:40:05,189 have you rewrite, and rewrite, and rewrite, 1696 01:40:05,653 --> 01:40:08,159 be more objective, 1697 01:40:08,821 --> 01:40:10,227 less authentic, 1698 01:40:10,262 --> 01:40:12,757 less you, with every draft. 1699 01:40:15,729 --> 01:40:19,434 But some of you saw my post 1700 01:40:19,469 --> 01:40:22,404 about writing something honest. 1701 01:40:25,739 --> 01:40:26,739 And... 1702 01:40:28,148 --> 01:40:29,148 (Sighs) 1703 01:40:30,282 --> 01:40:32,084 The things that some of you wrote... 1704 01:40:33,912 --> 01:40:35,351 Kristy, you wrote, 1705 01:40:36,453 --> 01:40:39,520 "my parents want me to be a radiologist, 1706 01:40:39,555 --> 01:40:42,160 "but I don't even know what that is." 1707 01:40:48,696 --> 01:40:50,234 Julian, you wrote, 1708 01:40:50,269 --> 01:40:53,567 "I'm sick of people telling me that I have promise." 1709 01:41:01,379 --> 01:41:02,444 Adam, you wrote, 1710 01:41:03,612 --> 01:41:05,513 "I think I need to accept that my life 1711 01:41:05,548 --> 01:41:07,878 "isn't going to be very exciting." 1712 01:41:11,224 --> 01:41:15,589 You all wrote these amazing, honest things, and... 1713 01:41:17,725 --> 01:41:19,824 You've been so honest with me that I... I... 1714 01:41:23,401 --> 01:41:24,532 (Grunts softly) 1715 01:41:25,502 --> 01:41:26,831 I just want to be... 1716 01:41:28,406 --> 01:41:29,801 Honest with you, too. 1717 01:41:30,870 --> 01:41:32,210 (Exhales) 1718 01:41:35,677 --> 01:41:37,710 (Breathes deeply) 1719 01:42:05,410 --> 01:42:06,640 (Sighs heavily) 1720 01:42:12,010 --> 01:42:13,713 <i>These assignments don't matter.</i> 1721 01:42:15,519 --> 01:42:16,749 <i>This course doesn't matter.</i> 1722 01:42:18,885 --> 01:42:20,225 <i>College doesn't matter.</i> 1723 01:42:22,559 --> 01:42:25,494 <i>These amazing, honest things that you wrote,</i> 1724 01:42:29,533 --> 01:42:30,631 they matter. 1725 01:42:34,670 --> 01:42:35,768 (Laptop crashes) 1726 01:42:38,003 --> 01:42:39,871 (Charlie wheezes) 1727 01:42:50,015 --> 01:42:51,421 (Charlie coughs) 1728 01:43:05,998 --> 01:43:07,866 (Wheezing continues) 1729 01:43:12,070 --> 01:43:13,707 I'm sorry. Don't. 1730 01:43:20,452 --> 01:43:21,946 (Breathes erratically) 1731 01:43:25,017 --> 01:43:26,390 (Suppresses grunt) 1732 01:43:30,330 --> 01:43:32,930 I really hate you for putting me through this again, you know that? 1733 01:43:35,896 --> 01:43:37,434 Those last few months before Alan... 1734 01:43:38,932 --> 01:43:41,438 I'd come over here, shake him, scream at him, 1735 01:43:41,473 --> 01:43:43,473 just trying to get him to fucking eat something. 1736 01:43:43,508 --> 01:43:46,036 God, that was awful! It was awful for me, too. 1737 01:43:46,071 --> 01:43:47,444 Yeah? Well, you weren't the one 1738 01:43:47,479 --> 01:43:48,874 who had to identify his body, 1739 01:43:48,909 --> 01:43:50,612 all bloated... They wouldn't let me. 1740 01:43:52,077 --> 01:43:53,483 I wasn't family. 1741 01:43:55,047 --> 01:43:56,354 (Sighs) 1742 01:44:02,626 --> 01:44:04,626 (Charlie coughs and wheezes) 1743 01:44:07,631 --> 01:44:09,730 I got you two meatball subs. Extra cheese. 1744 01:44:15,100 --> 01:44:16,836 (Sighs, sniffles) 1745 01:44:16,871 --> 01:44:18,002 I don't know what I'm doing. 1746 01:44:24,483 --> 01:44:26,714 (Breathes heavily) 1747 01:44:26,749 --> 01:44:28,881 I'm not going to the hospital. 1748 01:44:28,916 --> 01:44:30,454 I'm not asking you to. 1749 01:44:35,857 --> 01:44:37,692 I can't do this anymore. 1750 01:44:40,796 --> 01:44:42,532 I tried to save him, Liz. 1751 01:44:45,801 --> 01:44:47,735 I thought that if I just loved him, 1752 01:44:50,674 --> 01:44:52,476 that he wouldn't need anyone else. 1753 01:44:55,448 --> 01:44:56,876 I told him he didn't need god, 1754 01:44:58,176 --> 01:45:01,518 he didn't need anyone but me. 1755 01:45:03,423 --> 01:45:04,423 Charlie, 1756 01:45:05,887 --> 01:45:07,689 all I know is that you gave Alan 1757 01:45:07,724 --> 01:45:08,954 the best years of his life. 1758 01:45:08,989 --> 01:45:10,571 If it weren't for you, he would have jumped off 1759 01:45:10,595 --> 01:45:12,562 that bridge years earlier. (Shudders) 1760 01:45:13,158 --> 01:45:14,531 Nobody could've saved him. 1761 01:45:14,566 --> 01:45:16,434 Believe me, I spent years trying. 1762 01:45:17,063 --> 01:45:18,700 (Breathes heavily) 1763 01:45:20,473 --> 01:45:23,067 I don't think I believe anyone can save anyone. 1764 01:45:29,548 --> 01:45:30,613 She saved him. 1765 01:45:33,079 --> 01:45:37,180 She wasn't trying to hurt him. She was trying to help him. 1766 01:45:37,215 --> 01:45:39,149 Who are you talking about? 1767 01:45:39,184 --> 01:45:41,624 He's going home. She did that. 1768 01:45:42,891 --> 01:45:44,990 Charlie... She didn't do it to hurt him, 1769 01:45:45,795 --> 01:45:48,026 she did it to send him home. 1770 01:45:49,601 --> 01:45:51,931 Do you feel light-headed? Charlie, look at me. 1771 01:45:51,966 --> 01:45:54,571 She was trying to help him. Who? 1772 01:45:55,640 --> 01:45:59,169 Ellie. She was trying to help him, 1773 01:45:59,204 --> 01:46:01,105 she just wanted to send him home. 1774 01:46:03,813 --> 01:46:07,650 Do you ever get the feeling that... 1775 01:46:09,555 --> 01:46:12,919 People are incapable of not caring? 1776 01:46:18,498 --> 01:46:19,926 People are amazing. 1777 01:46:21,501 --> 01:46:22,533 (Door opens) 1778 01:46:23,635 --> 01:46:24,700 What the fuck did you do? 1779 01:46:27,837 --> 01:46:28,869 What's wrong with him? 1780 01:46:31,038 --> 01:46:32,038 He's dying. 1781 01:46:33,942 --> 01:46:35,612 So, call someone. 1782 01:46:35,647 --> 01:46:37,482 (Softly) No. Call a fucking ambulance! 1783 01:46:38,111 --> 01:46:39,111 Liz. 1784 01:46:40,113 --> 01:46:41,519 I need to talk to him. 1785 01:46:41,554 --> 01:46:42,795 I'm not leaving you alone with him. 1786 01:46:42,819 --> 01:46:44,247 I need to talk to him alone. 1787 01:46:44,282 --> 01:46:45,490 (Softly) Liz. 1788 01:46:48,286 --> 01:46:49,527 Please. 1789 01:46:54,094 --> 01:46:55,094 Okay. 1790 01:47:01,706 --> 01:47:03,508 (Stifled sobbing) 1791 01:47:12,849 --> 01:47:13,980 Liz: I'll call someone. 1792 01:47:16,919 --> 01:47:17,919 Charlie. 1793 01:47:21,055 --> 01:47:22,659 I'll wait downstairs. 1794 01:47:30,130 --> 01:47:32,130 Why did you do that? (Chuckling) What? 1795 01:47:34,574 --> 01:47:35,574 I failed. 1796 01:47:36,202 --> 01:47:37,806 It's a really good essay. 1797 01:47:37,841 --> 01:47:40,776 Are you just trying to screw me over one last time? 1798 01:47:40,811 --> 01:47:42,822 I don't care about you! I don't care that you're dying. 1799 01:47:42,846 --> 01:47:44,186 Do you want me to fail out of high school? 1800 01:47:44,210 --> 01:47:46,177 Is that why you did this? I didn't write it. 1801 01:47:46,212 --> 01:47:48,718 This is the essay that you gave me yesterday. 1802 01:47:48,753 --> 01:47:50,588 You didn't read it. I don't need to read it. 1803 01:47:51,052 --> 01:47:52,052 Read it. 1804 01:47:56,189 --> 01:47:58,090 (Breathing laboriously) 1805 01:48:03,669 --> 01:48:04,669 This is... 1806 01:48:06,067 --> 01:48:07,605 I know what this is. 1807 01:48:07,640 --> 01:48:09,706 (Chuckling) I knew you would. 1808 01:48:10,775 --> 01:48:11,775 I wrote this. 1809 01:48:14,042 --> 01:48:15,778 You never forget anything. 1810 01:48:15,813 --> 01:48:18,682 I wrote this in eighth grade for English. Why do you... 1811 01:48:18,717 --> 01:48:20,783 "And I felt saddest of all 1812 01:48:20,818 --> 01:48:23,049 "when I read the boring chapters 1813 01:48:23,084 --> 01:48:25,920 "that were only descriptions of whales, 1814 01:48:25,955 --> 01:48:28,956 "because I knew that 1815 01:48:28,991 --> 01:48:32,630 "the author was just trying to save us 1816 01:48:32,665 --> 01:48:34,929 "from his own sad story, 1817 01:48:36,933 --> 01:48:38,801 "just for a little while." 1818 01:48:38,836 --> 01:48:40,605 (Charlie chuckles) (Sniffles) 1819 01:48:40,640 --> 01:48:43,300 How do you have this? Your mother, 1820 01:48:43,335 --> 01:48:45,368 she sent it to me four years ago. 1821 01:48:45,403 --> 01:48:48,140 I wanted to know how you were doing in school, 1822 01:48:48,175 --> 01:48:49,944 and she sent it. 1823 01:48:49,979 --> 01:48:53,211 And it's the best essay I've ever read. 1824 01:48:53,246 --> 01:48:55,126 (Sobbing) Why are you fucking with me like this? 1825 01:48:55,919 --> 01:48:56,919 I'm not. 1826 01:48:57,987 --> 01:49:01,351 (Sobs) I'm sorry for leaving you. 1827 01:49:03,696 --> 01:49:07,093 I was in love, and... 1828 01:49:07,128 --> 01:49:08,996 (Inhales laboriously) I left you behind. 1829 01:49:10,934 --> 01:49:14,298 You did not deserve that. I don't... 1830 01:49:14,333 --> 01:49:16,773 I don't know how (Inhales laboriously) 1831 01:49:16,808 --> 01:49:18,709 I could have done such a thing. 1832 01:49:18,744 --> 01:49:21,008 You're so beautiful. (Sobs) 1833 01:49:21,043 --> 01:49:22,944 You're amazing. Stop. 1834 01:49:25,245 --> 01:49:27,982 You're amazing. (Sobs) 1835 01:49:28,820 --> 01:49:30,952 This essay is amazing. 1836 01:49:32,725 --> 01:49:35,187 This essay is you. 1837 01:49:35,222 --> 01:49:36,353 Stop saying that. 1838 01:49:36,388 --> 01:49:39,994 This essay is you. Stop saying that! 1839 01:49:40,029 --> 01:49:43,129 You're the best thing I have ever done. 1840 01:49:43,164 --> 01:49:44,702 (Cries out in pain) 1841 01:49:44,737 --> 01:49:46,836 (Coughs) What's the matter? 1842 01:49:46,871 --> 01:49:47,903 Ellie! 1843 01:49:47,938 --> 01:49:49,872 No. Okay, I can't be here right now. 1844 01:49:49,907 --> 01:49:51,269 I have to go. You're perfect. 1845 01:49:51,876 --> 01:49:53,007 You'll be happy. 1846 01:49:54,340 --> 01:49:57,209 You care about people. (Sobs) 1847 01:49:57,244 --> 01:49:58,884 The ambulance is coming, they'll help you. 1848 01:49:58,916 --> 01:50:00,344 No. They won't. 1849 01:50:00,379 --> 01:50:03,248 You're going to the hospital. No. 1850 01:50:03,283 --> 01:50:05,316 You just need surgery, or something! 1851 01:50:05,351 --> 01:50:09,287 Read it to me. (Grunts) What? 1852 01:50:09,322 --> 01:50:12,829 (Struggling) If you want to help, read it to me. 1853 01:50:13,832 --> 01:50:16,800 You'll help if you read it. 1854 01:50:16,835 --> 01:50:19,099 You asshole. You fat fucking asshole! 1855 01:50:19,134 --> 01:50:20,166 You'll help... Fuck you. 1856 01:50:20,201 --> 01:50:21,464 Please. Fuck you! 1857 01:50:21,499 --> 01:50:22,773 Ellie! 1858 01:50:26,207 --> 01:50:27,404 (Sobbing) Daddy, please. 1859 01:50:35,447 --> 01:50:36,985 (Ellie sniffling) 1860 01:50:46,392 --> 01:50:49,998 "In the amazing book,<i> Moby dick,</i> by the author Herman melville, 1861 01:50:50,033 --> 01:50:52,935 "the author recounts his story of being at sea. 1862 01:50:52,970 --> 01:50:54,299 "In the first part of his book, 1863 01:50:54,334 --> 01:50:56,334 "the author, calling himself ishmael, 1864 01:50:56,369 --> 01:50:58,105 "is in a small seaside town 1865 01:50:58,140 --> 01:51:01,174 "and he is sharing a bed with a man named queequeg. 1866 01:51:01,209 --> 01:51:03,506 "The author and queequeg go to church 1867 01:51:03,541 --> 01:51:04,980 "and later set out on a ship 1868 01:51:05,015 --> 01:51:06,443 "captained by a pirate named ahab, 1869 01:51:06,478 --> 01:51:07,884 "who is missing a leg, 1870 01:51:08,920 --> 01:51:10,513 "and very much wants to kill the whale 1871 01:51:10,548 --> 01:51:13,791 "which is named Moby dick, and which is white. 1872 01:51:13,826 --> 01:51:15,826 "In the course of the book, 1873 01:51:15,861 --> 01:51:18,224 "the pirate ahab encounters many hardships." (Grunts) 1874 01:51:18,259 --> 01:51:21,766 "His entire life is set around trying to kill a certain whale." 1875 01:51:21,801 --> 01:51:23,328 (Panting) "I think this is sad 1876 01:51:23,363 --> 01:51:25,044 "because this whale doesn't have any emotions, 1877 01:51:25,068 --> 01:51:27,464 "and doesn't know how bad ahab wants to kill him. 1878 01:51:27,499 --> 01:51:28,839 "He's just a poor 1879 01:51:29,369 --> 01:51:32,007 "big animal." 1880 01:51:32,042 --> 01:51:35,010 (Charlie gasps for breath) 1881 01:51:35,045 --> 01:51:37,111 "And I feel bad for ahab as well, 1882 01:51:37,146 --> 01:51:38,794 "because he thinks that his life will be better 1883 01:51:38,818 --> 01:51:40,345 "if he can just kill this whale, 1884 01:51:40,380 --> 01:51:42,215 "but in reality, it won't help him at all." 1885 01:51:43,251 --> 01:51:45,856 (Charlie breathing shallowly) 1886 01:51:45,891 --> 01:51:48,419 "I was very saddened by this book, 1887 01:51:48,454 --> 01:51:50,454 "and I felt many emotions for the characters. 1888 01:51:53,294 --> 01:51:54,799 "And I felt saddest of all 1889 01:51:54,834 --> 01:51:56,042 "when I read the boring chapters 1890 01:51:56,066 --> 01:51:58,099 "that were only descriptions of whales, 1891 01:51:58,134 --> 01:52:00,266 "because I knew that the author was just trying 1892 01:52:00,301 --> 01:52:02,136 "to save us from his own sad story, 1893 01:52:03,007 --> 01:52:04,105 "just for a little while." 1894 01:52:04,140 --> 01:52:05,502 (Gasping) 1895 01:52:05,537 --> 01:52:07,108 (Waves lapping) 1896 01:52:07,143 --> 01:52:09,143 (Emotional music playing) 1897 01:52:12,148 --> 01:52:14,049 "This book made me think about my own life, 1898 01:52:15,415 --> 01:52:17,921 "and then it made me feel glad for my..." 1899 01:52:17,956 --> 01:52:19,450 (Breathing erratically) 1900 01:52:21,388 --> 01:52:22,453 (Laughing) 1901 01:52:22,488 --> 01:52:23,520 (Chuckles) 1902 01:52:23,555 --> 01:52:25,225 (Music swells) 1903 01:52:25,260 --> 01:52:26,260 (Gasps) 1904 01:52:34,467 --> 01:52:36,071 (Waves crashing) 1905 01:52:37,404 --> 01:52:39,943 (Emotional music continues) 1906 01:54:01,191 --> 01:54:03,191 (Grim music playing) 1907 01:54:12,367 --> 01:54:14,367 (Waves crashing gently)