1
00:00:30,816 --> 00:00:32,420
(Hydraulic brakes hiss)

2
00:00:32,455 --> 00:00:34,455
(Somber music playing)

3
00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,411
(Music continues)

4
00:00:58,910 --> 00:01:00,811
Man: <i>Like we
discussed yesterday,</i>

5
00:01:00,846 --> 00:01:05,783
<i>I really want you all to focus
on topic sentences more.</i>

6
00:01:05,818 --> 00:01:08,291
<i>Too many of you
are rushing into examples</i>

7
00:01:08,326 --> 00:01:09,886
<i>in your body paragraphs.</i>

8
00:01:09,921 --> 00:01:11,756
<i>It'd be good for everyone
to review</i>

9
00:01:11,791 --> 00:01:13,692
<i>the paragraph structure pdf
I sent you</i>

10
00:01:13,727 --> 00:01:15,232
<i>a few weeks ago.</i>

11
00:01:15,267 --> 00:01:18,829
<i>I know these rules
can feel constraining.</i>

12
00:01:18,864 --> 00:01:22,173
<i>But remember,
the point of this course</i>

13
00:01:22,208 --> 00:01:26,342
<i>is to learn how to write
clearly and persuasively.</i>

14
00:01:26,377 --> 00:01:29,675
<i>That's how you can</i>
<i>effectively communicate</i>
<i>your ideas.</i>

15
00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:30,874
(Message alert pings)

16
00:01:30,909 --> 00:01:32,342
(Man chuckles)

17
00:01:32,377 --> 00:01:35,450
<i>Chris, I imagine</i>
<i>that was supposed to be</i>
<i>a private chat</i>

18
00:01:35,485 --> 00:01:38,288
<i>that you sent</i>
<i>to the whole class.</i>
<i>Well done.</i>

19
00:01:38,323 --> 00:01:42,490
<i>And, yes, the camera</i>
<i>on my laptop</i>
<i>still doesn't work.</i>

20
00:01:42,525 --> 00:01:44,192
<i>Believe me,
you're not missing much.</i>

21
00:01:44,227 --> 00:01:47,330
<i>Oh, and for those of you</i>
<i>who still haven't</i>
<i>given me paper three,</i>

22
00:01:47,365 --> 00:01:50,234
<i>I need it by Wednesday,
no exceptions.</i>

23
00:01:51,303 --> 00:01:53,070
<i>And remember,</i>

24
00:01:53,105 --> 00:01:55,433
<i>- the more you revise
these essays, the better.</i>

25
00:01:55,434 --> 00:01:56,306
- (Waves crashing)

26
00:01:56,341 --> 00:01:57,868
<i>The more you change,</i>

27
00:01:57,903 --> 00:02:00,739
<i>chances are you'll express
your thoughts and ideas</i>

28
00:02:00,774 --> 00:02:02,378
<i>more clearly and persuasively.</i>

29
00:02:03,315 --> 00:02:04,347
<i>All right?</i>

30
00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:06,382
(Wave crashed loudly)

31
00:02:13,358 --> 00:02:14,588
(Man grunts)

32
00:02:14,623 --> 00:02:16,293
(Rain pattering)

33
00:02:20,365 --> 00:02:21,463
(Groans)

34
00:02:22,598 --> 00:02:26,732
(Heavy breathing)
(Continues grunting)

35
00:02:26,767 --> 00:02:29,240
(Men on video
breathing heavily)

36
00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:32,309
(Man grunts)
(Stroking rapidly)

37
00:02:32,344 --> 00:02:33,475
Oh!

38
00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:35,807
(Grunting)

39
00:02:36,579 --> 00:02:40,317
(Grunting in pain)

40
00:02:40,913 --> 00:02:45,586
(Grunting laboriously)

41
00:02:45,621 --> 00:02:47,621
(Coughs, breathes heavily)

42
00:02:49,394 --> 00:02:54,463
(Gasping and coughing)

43
00:02:54,498 --> 00:02:59,402
<i>"Moby dick...</i> (Wheezes)
In the amazing book,
<i>Moby..."</i> (Groans)

44
00:02:59,437 --> 00:03:01,437
(Knock at door)
Liz?

45
00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:02,966
(Pants)
(Knocking continues)

46
00:03:03,001 --> 00:03:06,002
Just use your key,
(Wheezes) Open the door!

47
00:03:07,973 --> 00:03:09,907
(Gasps)
Oh, my god.

48
00:03:09,942 --> 00:03:11,942
Who are you?
(Groans in pain)

49
00:03:11,977 --> 00:03:15,044
Gosh, are you okay?
Should I call an ambulance?
I should call an am...

50
00:03:15,079 --> 00:03:17,585
(Men panting)
(Continues groaning)

51
00:03:18,918 --> 00:03:20,302
Read this to me.
Do you have a phone?

52
00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:21,369
My phone's dead, I need to...

53
00:03:21,393 --> 00:03:22,887
Please just read it!
Okay!

54
00:03:24,088 --> 00:03:25,560
(Grunts)
Okay.

55
00:03:25,595 --> 00:03:27,095
(Groans)

56
00:03:27,130 --> 00:03:29,069
"In the amazing book,
<i>Moby dick,</i> by the author,
Herman melville,

57
00:03:29,093 --> 00:03:31,533
"the author recounts his story
of being at sea.

58
00:03:31,568 --> 00:03:33,975
"In the first part
of his book, the author,
calling himself ishmael,

59
00:03:33,999 --> 00:03:35,076
"is in a small seaside town,

60
00:03:35,100 --> 00:03:37,869
"and he is sharing a bed
with a man named queequeg."

61
00:03:37,904 --> 00:03:39,079
What is this?
Why am I reading this?

62
00:03:39,103 --> 00:03:41,510
I need to...
Just read any of it!

63
00:03:41,545 --> 00:03:43,809
"And I felt saddest of all
when I read
the boring chapters

64
00:03:43,844 --> 00:03:45,122
"that were only
descriptions of whales,

65
00:03:45,146 --> 00:03:47,417
"because I knew
that the author
was just trying to save us

66
00:03:47,452 --> 00:03:48,496
"from his own sad story..."

67
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:50,332
(Gasping) Sad story.
"Just for a little while."

68
00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:51,522
Just for a little while.

69
00:03:51,557 --> 00:03:53,566
"This book made me think
about my own life...
(Wheezes)

70
00:03:53,590 --> 00:03:55,425
"And then it made me
feel glad for my..."

71
00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,790
(Panting)

72
00:03:57,825 --> 00:04:00,496
Did that help?
(Sighs)

73
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,399
Look, do you have a phone?
My phone is dead.

74
00:04:02,434 --> 00:04:04,027
I need to call an ambulance.

75
00:04:04,062 --> 00:04:07,030
You need help.
I don't go to hospitals.

76
00:04:07,065 --> 00:04:10,000
I can't help you, I don't...
I don't go to hospitals.

77
00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:15,005
I am sorry, um...
You can go.

78
00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:16,644
Thank you
for reading that to me.

79
00:04:22,718 --> 00:04:23,915
Are you sure you're okay?

80
00:04:26,117 --> 00:04:27,820
I'm sorry, who are you?

81
00:04:29,494 --> 00:04:30,999
Are you acquainted
with the gospel
of Jesus Christ?

82
00:04:31,023 --> 00:04:34,090
What?
I'm sharing
Christ's message of love,

83
00:04:34,125 --> 00:04:35,960
and I'm showing people...
(Sighing) Oh.

84
00:04:35,995 --> 00:04:37,500
Think I should call my friend.

85
00:04:37,535 --> 00:04:40,635
She's a nurse,
she takes care of me.

86
00:04:40,670 --> 00:04:44,001
Yeah. Yeah, I'll go.
Sorry to bother you.
Wait.

87
00:04:45,543 --> 00:04:46,983
My phone fell under there,
can you...

88
00:04:50,614 --> 00:04:51,745
Yeah, sure.

89
00:04:54,486 --> 00:04:55,683
(Sighs)

90
00:05:02,692 --> 00:05:03,823
(Sighs)
Here it is.

91
00:05:03,858 --> 00:05:04,858
(Groans in pain)

92
00:05:08,995 --> 00:05:10,566
(Man grunts)

93
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:12,403
Hey, listen, I don't know
what's gonna happen

94
00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:14,064
in the next few minutes.

95
00:05:14,099 --> 00:05:16,803
If you don't mind,
could you... (Grunts)

96
00:05:16,838 --> 00:05:18,937
Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Thank you.

97
00:05:20,545 --> 00:05:21,907
(Phone line ringing)

98
00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,295
(Automated voice speaking)
<i>It's Liz. I'm not around.</i>
<i>Leave a message.</i>

99
00:05:29,213 --> 00:05:31,587
What was that thing
that you had me read to you?

100
00:05:33,118 --> 00:05:34,118
It's an essay.

101
00:05:34,988 --> 00:05:36,394
It's my job.

102
00:05:37,221 --> 00:05:39,562
I teach online college courses.

103
00:05:39,597 --> 00:05:41,117
But why did you have me
read it to you?

104
00:05:45,229 --> 00:05:46,635
Because I thought I was dying.

105
00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:48,868
And I wanted to hear it
one last time.

106
00:05:53,171 --> 00:05:54,973
(Velcro rips)

107
00:05:55,008 --> 00:05:56,876
You should have called
an ambulance.

108
00:05:56,911 --> 00:05:58,911
With no health insurance?

109
00:05:58,946 --> 00:06:00,847
Being in debt
is better than being dead.

110
00:06:01,652 --> 00:06:02,652
What's wrong with you?

111
00:06:03,852 --> 00:06:05,687
Why is there a missionary here?

112
00:06:06,756 --> 00:06:09,119
Someone left the door unlocked.

113
00:06:09,154 --> 00:06:10,791
I left after
you fell asleep earlier,

114
00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:13,057
I must've forgotten.

115
00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:16,863
Good thing, too.
If I hadn't, you might have...

116
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,227
Liz, I don't like it when you...

117
00:06:18,262 --> 00:06:20,471
Okay, okay.
I just hate the thought

118
00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:22,935
of you being sealed up
in this place
when I'm not here.

119
00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:25,330
(Pumping sphygmomanometer
bulb)
Now shut up, I'm trying to...

120
00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:33,044
(Releases pressure)
(Air hissing)

121
00:06:34,619 --> 00:06:35,849
What?
Hush.

122
00:06:40,856 --> 00:06:41,987
Tell me what you felt.

123
00:06:42,726 --> 00:06:44,792
Pain, in my chest.

124
00:06:44,827 --> 00:06:45,925
Hard to breathe.

125
00:06:46,895 --> 00:06:48,059
I couldn't intake air.

126
00:06:49,293 --> 00:06:51,260
(Rips velcro)

127
00:06:51,295 --> 00:06:53,933
How are you sleeping?
I'm not, really.

128
00:06:57,202 --> 00:06:58,542
Lean forward.

129
00:07:00,612 --> 00:07:01,776
(Sighs)

130
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:03,844
(Man wheezes)

131
00:07:06,079 --> 00:07:07,749
You're wheezing.

132
00:07:07,784 --> 00:07:09,718
I always wheeze, Liz.

133
00:07:09,753 --> 00:07:10,950
You're wheezing more.

134
00:07:11,557 --> 00:07:12,853
Deep breath.

135
00:07:12,888 --> 00:07:15,493
(Breathes deeply
with difficulty)

136
00:07:16,859 --> 00:07:18,661
That hurt?

137
00:07:18,696 --> 00:07:19,776
What was my blood pressure?

138
00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:24,029
Two-hundred and thirty-eight
over 134.

139
00:07:29,938 --> 00:07:31,542
(Chuckling) Oh.

140
00:07:31,577 --> 00:07:32,675
Yeah. "Oh."

141
00:07:34,646 --> 00:07:35,646
(Sighs)

142
00:07:36,142 --> 00:07:37,408
Hey, could you...

143
00:07:37,444 --> 00:07:39,804
I haven't been
to the bathroom all day,
I'm ready to explode.

144
00:07:52,026 --> 00:07:53,124
(Grunts)

145
00:07:54,897 --> 00:07:56,633
(Exhales deeply)

146
00:08:06,304 --> 00:08:07,941
(Draws curtain)
(Light switch clicks)

147
00:08:15,049 --> 00:08:16,620
(Trash can lid closes)

148
00:08:16,655 --> 00:08:18,655
(Sighs)

149
00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:20,558
(Man grunts)
Liz: You need help in there?

150
00:08:21,627 --> 00:08:23,187
Man: No, I'm fine. Sorry.

151
00:08:23,992 --> 00:08:25,596
What are you sorry about?

152
00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:28,797
I'm sorry. I don't know.
Just sorry.

153
00:08:28,832 --> 00:08:30,392
Missionary: I should go.
Liz: Thank you.

154
00:08:31,230 --> 00:08:33,230
You must be from new life.

155
00:08:33,265 --> 00:08:35,100
You know Doug,
from the church council?

156
00:08:36,268 --> 00:08:38,004
Yeah, I think so?

157
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,335
I'm not entirely sure.

158
00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:40,611
I'm sort of new here, so...

159
00:08:41,009 --> 00:08:42,074
He's my dad.

160
00:08:44,045 --> 00:08:46,276
Doug and Cindy adopted me
when I was a baby.

161
00:08:46,311 --> 00:08:47,849
Oh, that's great.

162
00:08:47,884 --> 00:08:49,785
I've never seen you there
before, but,

163
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,083
again I'm sort of new, so...

164
00:08:51,118 --> 00:08:53,657
(Sighs) Fucking hate new life.
Oh.

165
00:08:53,692 --> 00:08:55,003
My dad forced me to go
when I was a kid.

166
00:08:55,027 --> 00:08:58,959
It was awful,
growing up with all
that "end times" bullshit.

167
00:09:00,193 --> 00:09:02,193
(Sighs) You're young.

168
00:09:03,262 --> 00:09:04,404
Why the hell
would you want to believe

169
00:09:04,428 --> 00:09:05,999
that the world is about to end?

170
00:09:07,365 --> 00:09:09,805
I believe that
when Christ returns,

171
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,070
it's gonna be beautiful.

172
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:15,976
Look, you can go.

173
00:09:17,441 --> 00:09:19,309
I know Charlie appreciates
the help,

174
00:09:19,344 --> 00:09:21,982
but if you're here
to convert him...

175
00:09:22,017 --> 00:09:23,214
Oh, we don't convert,

176
00:09:23,249 --> 00:09:24,215
our message is a message of hope

177
00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:27,251
for people of all...
Liz: People of all faiths.

178
00:09:27,286 --> 00:09:30,760
I know. You're sweet.
(Clicks lighter) But...

179
00:09:33,765 --> 00:09:34,864
(Sighs)

180
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:36,964
Believe me, he doesn't want
to hear about new life.

181
00:09:38,198 --> 00:09:40,198
Why?

182
00:09:40,233 --> 00:09:41,870
Because it's caused him
a lot of pain.

183
00:09:42,906 --> 00:09:43,906
How?

184
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:48,713
It killed his boyfriend.

185
00:09:50,441 --> 00:09:51,979
(Toilet flushes)

186
00:09:54,412 --> 00:09:56,412
You're saying the church...
(Sighs)

187
00:09:57,481 --> 00:10:00,020
Killed Charlie's boyfriend, yes.

188
00:10:01,188 --> 00:10:03,056
And I should add that new life

189
00:10:03,091 --> 00:10:05,289
has caused me a lot of pain
in my life.

190
00:10:05,324 --> 00:10:07,929
So, we don't need you
coming over here,

191
00:10:07,964 --> 00:10:10,096
especially not now,
not this week.

192
00:10:11,330 --> 00:10:13,000
Why?

193
00:10:13,035 --> 00:10:14,969
Because he probably
won't be here next week.

194
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,268
Where's he going?

195
00:10:17,303 --> 00:10:19,402
I'm sorry
you had to come over, Liz.

196
00:10:20,779 --> 00:10:22,042
No, it's okay.

197
00:10:22,077 --> 00:10:24,946
I'm sorry
that I always think
I'm dying.

198
00:10:24,981 --> 00:10:28,114
Charlie, your blood pressure
is 238 over 134.

199
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:30,215
I'm sorry.
Go to the hospital.

200
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,019
I'm sorry.
Stop saying you're sorry.

201
00:10:32,054 --> 00:10:33,251
Go to the hospital.

202
00:10:34,353 --> 00:10:35,957
You have congestive
heart failure.

203
00:10:35,992 --> 00:10:37,266
If you don't go to the hospital,

204
00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:38,490
you'll be dead by the weekend.

205
00:10:40,095 --> 00:10:41,963
(Sternly) You will die.

206
00:10:43,967 --> 00:10:45,241
Charlie: Well, then,
I better get to work

207
00:10:45,265 --> 00:10:46,847
because I have a lot
of essays this week.

208
00:10:46,871 --> 00:10:48,299
God damn it!

209
00:10:48,334 --> 00:10:51,742
I know. I'm sorry,
I'm an awful person. I know.

210
00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:54,404
I'm sorry.

211
00:10:54,439 --> 00:10:55,905
(Grunts, pants)

212
00:10:55,941 --> 00:10:58,155
Did you still want to hear
about Christ's message
of love and salvation?

213
00:10:58,179 --> 00:10:59,277
No, he does not!

214
00:10:59,312 --> 00:11:00,312
Missionary: Okay. Okay.

215
00:11:01,149 --> 00:11:02,149
I'll go.

216
00:11:04,383 --> 00:11:05,249
I still don't understand

217
00:11:05,284 --> 00:11:06,922
why you had me read
that essay to you.

218
00:11:08,156 --> 00:11:09,760
It's a really good essay.

219
00:11:12,028 --> 00:11:13,929
Liz: Goodbye. (Closes door)

220
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,802
Charlie, you have to go
to the hospital.
This has gone way too far.

221
00:11:18,837 --> 00:11:22,102
And rack up tens of thousands
of dollars in hospital bills

222
00:11:22,137 --> 00:11:24,467
I'll never be able
to pay back, ever.

223
00:11:24,502 --> 00:11:26,403
This affects me too, you know?

224
00:11:29,507 --> 00:11:30,507
You're my friend.

225
00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:33,213
I know.

226
00:11:35,051 --> 00:11:36,083
I'm sorry.

227
00:11:36,118 --> 00:11:37,262
You say you're sorry
one more time,

228
00:11:37,286 --> 00:11:39,449
I will shove a knife
right into you,
I swear to god!

229
00:11:39,484 --> 00:11:41,825
Go ahead, what's it gonna do?

230
00:11:41,860 --> 00:11:43,620
My internal organs
are two feet in, at least.

231
00:11:46,557 --> 00:11:48,524
(Laughing)

232
00:11:50,066 --> 00:11:51,296
(Coughs)

233
00:11:51,331 --> 00:11:52,331
(Whimpers playfully)

234
00:11:59,911 --> 00:12:01,504
I've been telling you
this would happen.

235
00:12:01,539 --> 00:12:02,846
(Sighs) I know.

236
00:12:05,444 --> 00:12:07,411
Haven't I been telling you?
You have.

237
00:12:17,621 --> 00:12:20,028
Newscaster 1: <i>A new
gop presidential primary.</i>

238
00:12:20,063 --> 00:12:21,763
<i>However, they say
absentee ballots</i>

239
00:12:21,798 --> 00:12:24,274
<i>are the lowest they've seen</i>
<i>in recent history.</i>
Newscaster 2:<i> That's not good.</i>

240
00:12:24,298 --> 00:12:26,375
Newscaster 3: <i>No, it's not.
Get out and vote tomorrow.</i>

241
00:12:26,399 --> 00:12:28,432
<i>If you want to vote
in the republican primary.</i>

242
00:12:28,467 --> 00:12:30,841
<i>Our current polls do show,
among Republicans, ,</i>

243
00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:33,173
<i>30% favor trump...</i>
Liz.

244
00:12:33,208 --> 00:12:34,574
Newscaster 3:
<i>Senator Ted Cruz,</i>

245
00:12:34,610 --> 00:12:38,112
<i>17% would vote</i>
<i>for Florida senator</i>
<i>Marco rubio,</i>

246
00:12:38,147 --> 00:12:40,950
<i>and 5% for Ohio governor
John kasich.</i>

247
00:12:40,985 --> 00:12:42,251
Liz.

248
00:12:42,287 --> 00:12:43,364
Newscaster 3:
<i>For someone else,</i>
<i>if they could.</i>

249
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:45,922
<i>Below a percent
that just don't know.</i>

250
00:12:45,957 --> 00:12:47,535
Newscaster 1:
<i>Meanwhile, Vermont senator</i>
<i>Bernie Sanders</i>

251
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,861
<i>is expected to win</i>
<i>the gem state</i>
<i>on the Democratic side...</i>

252
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:51,762
Please.

253
00:12:51,797 --> 00:12:54,293
(Newscaster 1 continues
indistinctly)

254
00:13:19,287 --> 00:13:20,287
Thank you.

255
00:13:31,662 --> 00:13:33,530
(Crunching)

256
00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:45,080
(Laughter on TV)

257
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:47,379
Oh, I've seen this one,
it's good.

258
00:13:47,414 --> 00:13:49,216
(Indistinct TV chatter)

259
00:13:53,024 --> 00:13:54,650
(Rain pattering)

260
00:13:56,027 --> 00:13:58,027
(Indistinct TV chatter)

261
00:14:00,526 --> 00:14:02,493
(Charlie chokes, coughs)

262
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:05,595
(Coughing)

263
00:14:10,635 --> 00:14:12,074
(Remote clicks)
(Tv switches off)

264
00:14:15,343 --> 00:14:16,474
(Breathes deeply)

265
00:14:19,644 --> 00:14:21,919
(Soft music playing)

266
00:14:38,267 --> 00:14:42,302
Charlie: <i>In the first part
of his book, the author,</i>

267
00:14:44,273 --> 00:14:46,009
<i>calling himself ishmael,</i>

268
00:14:47,045 --> 00:14:52,444
<i>is in a small seaside town</i>

269
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:55,381
<i>and he is</i>

270
00:14:57,451 --> 00:15:00,716
<i>sharing a bed with a man</i>

271
00:15:02,555 --> 00:15:04,060
<i>named queequeg.</i>

272
00:15:08,396 --> 00:15:11,397
<i>The author and queequeg
go to church,</i>

273
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:15,071
<i>and later,
they set out on a ship</i>

274
00:15:15,106 --> 00:15:16,567
<i>captained by the pirate named</i>

275
00:15:18,340 --> 00:15:19,405
ahab,

276
00:15:22,245 --> 00:15:24,410
who is missing a leg,

277
00:15:24,445 --> 00:15:27,281
and very much wants
to kill the whale

278
00:15:29,549 --> 00:15:31,351
which is named Moby dick,

279
00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:33,584
and which is white.

280
00:15:35,060 --> 00:15:37,456
In the course of the book,

281
00:15:37,491 --> 00:15:40,096
the pirate ahab encounters
many hardships.

282
00:15:41,264 --> 00:15:44,397
His entire life is set around

283
00:15:44,432 --> 00:15:47,037
trying to kill a certain whale.

284
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:48,731
I think this is sad

285
00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:49,699
(grunts)

286
00:15:49,734 --> 00:15:53,142
Because the whale
doesn't have any emotions.

287
00:15:55,311 --> 00:15:56,475
(Grunts)

288
00:15:56,774 --> 00:15:58,015
He's just

289
00:15:59,381 --> 00:16:00,710
a poor, big animal.

290
00:16:03,220 --> 00:16:07,684
And I feel bad for ahab as well

291
00:16:09,358 --> 00:16:10,720
(grunts)

292
00:16:10,755 --> 00:16:16,231
Because he thinks
that his life will be better

293
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:19,399
if he can just kill this whale.

294
00:16:22,602 --> 00:16:24,734
But in reality,

295
00:16:25,374 --> 00:16:26,374
(grunts)

296
00:16:28,212 --> 00:16:29,574
It won't help him at all.

297
00:16:31,578 --> 00:16:34,117
This book made me think

298
00:16:35,186 --> 00:16:36,317
about my own life.

299
00:16:39,817 --> 00:16:42,290
This book made me think
about my own life.

300
00:16:42,325 --> 00:16:45,359
(Ocean waves crashing)

301
00:16:45,394 --> 00:16:49,297
(Softly) This book
made me think
about my own life.

302
00:17:38,777 --> 00:17:39,777
(Sighs)

303
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:47,652
(Exhales)

304
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,326
(Typing)

305
00:18:02,537 --> 00:18:04,273
(Typing)

306
00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:19,750
(Sighs)

307
00:18:20,951 --> 00:18:22,654
(Typing)

308
00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:36,932
(Exhales)

309
00:18:56,393 --> 00:18:58,360
(Wrapper crinkling)

310
00:19:00,628 --> 00:19:02,199
(Bird chirps)

311
00:19:04,863 --> 00:19:06,302
(Chirps)

312
00:19:20,516 --> 00:19:21,779
(Sighs heavily)

313
00:19:48,379 --> 00:19:49,873
(Line rings)

314
00:19:50,876 --> 00:19:53,250
(Clears throat)
(Line connects)

315
00:20:30,652 --> 00:20:31,783
(Knock at door)

316
00:20:34,986 --> 00:20:36,920
(Chuckles quietly)

317
00:20:36,955 --> 00:20:38,559
Does this mean
now I'm gonna get fat?

318
00:20:39,628 --> 00:20:42,530
(Grunts) No, it doesn't.

319
00:20:43,665 --> 00:20:44,994
I was always big.

320
00:20:45,029 --> 00:20:46,061
I just...

321
00:20:46,965 --> 00:20:48,470
I let it get out of control.

322
00:20:49,902 --> 00:20:51,374
(Charlie exhales)

323
00:20:53,444 --> 00:20:56,709
So, was your mom okay
with you coming over here?

324
00:20:57,679 --> 00:20:58,810
I didn't tell her.

325
00:21:01,848 --> 00:21:03,320
Charlie: It's really good
to see you.

326
00:21:05,456 --> 00:21:06,554
You look beautiful.

327
00:21:09,526 --> 00:21:10,723
So, how's school?

328
00:21:11,561 --> 00:21:13,363
You're a senior, right?

329
00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,793
You actually care?

330
00:21:14,828 --> 00:21:16,828
Well, of course I care.

331
00:21:16,863 --> 00:21:18,533
I pester your mom
for information

332
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:19,848
as often as
she'll give it to me.

333
00:21:21,901 --> 00:21:23,032
(Charlie exhales)

334
00:21:25,773 --> 00:21:26,773
Um...

335
00:21:28,446 --> 00:21:30,776
So... (Grunts)

336
00:21:30,811 --> 00:21:33,383
Why are you...
I mean, don't you have school?

337
00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:34,846
Got suspended this morning.

338
00:21:35,585 --> 00:21:36,585
Oh.

339
00:21:37,422 --> 00:21:38,588
Why?

340
00:21:38,623 --> 00:21:40,786
I posted something
about my stupid bitch
lab partner

341
00:21:40,821 --> 00:21:43,052
that the vice principal said
was "vaguely threatening."

342
00:21:44,495 --> 00:21:45,725
(Grunts)

343
00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:47,958
You don't like school?

344
00:21:47,993 --> 00:21:49,465
Only idiots like high school.

345
00:21:50,864 --> 00:21:53,370
But you're on track
to graduate, right?

346
00:21:55,198 --> 00:21:56,538
Counselor says I might not.

347
00:21:58,102 --> 00:21:59,376
I'm not worried.

348
00:22:00,907 --> 00:22:01,907
I'm a smart person.

349
00:22:02,810 --> 00:22:03,974
I never forget anything.

350
00:22:05,175 --> 00:22:06,911
High school is just bullshit.

351
00:22:06,946 --> 00:22:08,814
But, Ellie, it's important.

352
00:22:08,849 --> 00:22:09,893
If you don't graduate, then...

353
00:22:09,917 --> 00:22:11,757
Are you actually trying
to parent me right now?

354
00:22:12,820 --> 00:22:14,523
No, i'm... sorry.

355
00:22:14,822 --> 00:22:16,591
I just...

356
00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:19,226
I just thought that maybe
we could spend some time
with each other.

357
00:22:19,695 --> 00:22:20,935
I'm not spending time with you.

358
00:22:21,697 --> 00:22:22,697
You're disgusting.

359
00:22:28,165 --> 00:22:30,033
Well, I'm a lot bigger
than I was

360
00:22:30,068 --> 00:22:31,145
since last time you saw me.

361
00:22:31,169 --> 00:22:33,707
Ellie: No, I'm not talking
about what you look like.

362
00:22:33,742 --> 00:22:35,662
You'd be disgusting
even if you weren't this fat.

363
00:22:36,877 --> 00:22:38,844
You'd still be
that piece-of-shit dad

364
00:22:38,879 --> 00:22:40,359
who walked out on me
when I was eight.

365
00:22:41,684 --> 00:22:43,684
All because he wanted to fuck
one of his students.

366
00:22:43,719 --> 00:22:44,751
Can I have one of these?

367
00:22:46,183 --> 00:22:47,183
Yeah.

368
00:22:50,825 --> 00:22:52,495
Look, it's...
It's been a long time.

369
00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:53,991
I just thought that maybe

370
00:22:55,258 --> 00:22:56,730
we can get to know each other.

371
00:22:58,569 --> 00:22:59,809
I don't even know why I'm here.

372
00:23:00,670 --> 00:23:01,670
I can pay you.

373
00:23:06,544 --> 00:23:08,203
You want to pay me
to spend time with you?

374
00:23:08,238 --> 00:23:10,238
And I can help you
with your work.

375
00:23:10,273 --> 00:23:12,009
It's what I do for my job.

376
00:23:13,782 --> 00:23:15,078
I can help you pass
your classes.

377
00:23:16,785 --> 00:23:18,818
You teach online?
Yes.

378
00:23:18,853 --> 00:23:20,622
Your students know
what you look like?

379
00:23:20,657 --> 00:23:22,558
I keep the camera shut off.

380
00:23:22,593 --> 00:23:24,021
Yeah, that's probably
a good idea.

381
00:23:31,162 --> 00:23:33,202
My counselor says
that if I show
a lot of improvement

382
00:23:33,230 --> 00:23:34,636
in one subject,

383
00:23:34,671 --> 00:23:35,791
I might be able to graduate.

384
00:23:36,904 --> 00:23:39,168
You can rewrite these essays
for English.

385
00:23:39,203 --> 00:23:40,741
They have to be
really good, though.

386
00:23:44,582 --> 00:23:45,911
Well, look, um...

387
00:23:45,946 --> 00:23:47,715
I don't know
if I should write them
for you,

388
00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:48,826
but I can work with you on them.

389
00:23:48,850 --> 00:23:49,981
How much can you pay me?

390
00:23:51,116 --> 00:23:52,082
Everything I have.

391
00:23:52,117 --> 00:23:54,491
All the money
I have in the bank.
How much?

392
00:23:56,627 --> 00:23:59,892
$120,000?
Something like that.
I'd have to check.

393
00:24:01,599 --> 00:24:02,895
I never go out.

394
00:24:02,930 --> 00:24:06,063
All I pay for is food,
rent, Internet.

395
00:24:06,835 --> 00:24:08,538
And I work all the time.

396
00:24:09,904 --> 00:24:11,144
And you'd give all of it to me?

397
00:24:12,610 --> 00:24:13,610
Not to my mom, to me?

398
00:24:15,239 --> 00:24:17,239
Yes. Just...

399
00:24:18,308 --> 00:24:19,813
Don't tell your mom,

400
00:24:20,244 --> 00:24:21,244
all right?

401
00:24:22,884 --> 00:24:26,787
And maybe you could do
some writing just for me.

402
00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:28,888
Why?

403
00:24:28,923 --> 00:24:31,726
Because you're a smart person.

404
00:24:31,761 --> 00:24:33,860
And I bet you'd make
a strong writer.

405
00:24:36,095 --> 00:24:37,798
Plus, I'm a teacher.
I want to make sure

406
00:24:37,833 --> 00:24:39,668
you're getting something
out of this.

407
00:24:42,772 --> 00:24:45,069
(Zips bag) I don't even
understand you.

408
00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:57,246
Stand up and walk over to me.

409
00:24:58,722 --> 00:24:59,853
What?

410
00:24:59,888 --> 00:25:01,723
Come over here.
Walk toward me.

411
00:25:05,322 --> 00:25:07,091
No. No. Without this thing.

412
00:25:08,798 --> 00:25:10,699
Stand up and walk over here.

413
00:25:13,132 --> 00:25:14,571
Ellie, I can't really...
Shut up!

414
00:25:16,267 --> 00:25:17,640
Come over here.

415
00:25:23,274 --> 00:25:24,647
(Charlie sighs)

416
00:25:30,413 --> 00:25:31,720
(Exhales heavily)

417
00:25:32,250 --> 00:25:33,250
(Breathes deeply)

418
00:25:38,894 --> 00:25:40,729
(Grunts with exertion)

419
00:25:40,764 --> 00:25:42,291
(Grunts, groans)

420
00:25:42,931 --> 00:25:45,866
(Panting)

421
00:25:48,233 --> 00:25:50,607
(Huffing)

422
00:25:51,401 --> 00:25:54,204
(Grunts)

423
00:25:58,342 --> 00:25:59,682
(Charlie yells)

424
00:26:00,179 --> 00:26:01,882
(Groaning loudly)

425
00:26:03,017 --> 00:26:04,984
(Groaning in pain)

426
00:26:09,155 --> 00:26:11,155
(Panting)

427
00:26:13,324 --> 00:26:15,225
(Dog barks outside)

428
00:26:21,068 --> 00:26:22,936
(Whispering)
"Celebrate my soul.

429
00:26:24,071 --> 00:26:25,774
"Sell my soul."

430
00:26:25,809 --> 00:26:26,973
(Knock at door)

431
00:26:27,470 --> 00:26:28,711
Man: Gambino's!

432
00:26:29,472 --> 00:26:30,779
Yeah, you can, um...

433
00:26:31,914 --> 00:26:33,342
I put a $20 in the mailbox.

434
00:26:34,818 --> 00:26:35,850
Man: Sure.

435
00:26:39,449 --> 00:26:41,922
You can just leave it on the...

436
00:26:41,957 --> 00:26:44,188
Man: Yeah, I, uh...
I remember.

437
00:26:46,324 --> 00:26:47,664
Everything okay in there?

438
00:26:52,297 --> 00:26:53,297
Yeah.

439
00:26:55,102 --> 00:26:56,134
Man: You sure?

440
00:26:56,939 --> 00:26:57,939
Yeah.

441
00:26:58,809 --> 00:26:59,841
I'm fine.

442
00:27:02,274 --> 00:27:03,274
Thank you.

443
00:27:05,244 --> 00:27:06,244
(Metal clacks)

444
00:27:07,114 --> 00:27:08,718
(Footsteps)

445
00:27:12,020 --> 00:27:13,118
(Chuckles lightly)

446
00:27:20,358 --> 00:27:21,797
(Car engine starts)

447
00:27:46,956 --> 00:27:48,791
Breathe slowly.
(Device beeps)

448
00:27:48,826 --> 00:27:50,122
(Inhales)

449
00:27:50,157 --> 00:27:51,189
Relax.

450
00:27:51,224 --> 00:27:52,323
(Exhales)
(Device beeps)

451
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,490
It measures perspiration.
It's an indicator of stress.

452
00:27:55,525 --> 00:27:56,942
It's about establishing
a relationship

453
00:27:56,966 --> 00:27:58,207
between your brain
and your body.

454
00:27:58,231 --> 00:27:59,769
If you know
how to make yourself calm,

455
00:27:59,804 --> 00:28:00,946
then your blood pressure will...

456
00:28:00,970 --> 00:28:03,036
(Device beeps)
Here.

457
00:28:03,071 --> 00:28:05,071
I don't need a little machine
to tell me

458
00:28:05,106 --> 00:28:07,535
to take a few deep breaths
and stop sweating.

459
00:28:07,570 --> 00:28:09,911
Well, apparently,
you fucking do.

460
00:28:09,946 --> 00:28:12,540
(Device beeps)
Take another deep breath.

461
00:28:12,575 --> 00:28:15,246
(Breathes deeply)
(Device beeps)

462
00:28:15,281 --> 00:28:16,346
Thank you.

463
00:28:18,317 --> 00:28:19,921
(Charlie exhales deeply)

464
00:28:19,956 --> 00:28:22,187
(Liz sighs)

465
00:28:22,222 --> 00:28:26,290
We're just gonna try
some different methods,
or whatever.

466
00:28:26,325 --> 00:28:29,931
If you refuse to go
to the hospital,
then you'll...

467
00:28:31,066 --> 00:28:32,131
I don't know.

468
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,404
Where'd this come from?

469
00:28:41,439 --> 00:28:42,944
(Device continues beeping)

470
00:28:46,411 --> 00:28:47,411
Hey.

471
00:28:50,855 --> 00:28:51,855
Was she here?

472
00:28:55,057 --> 00:28:57,057
No, I don't like this.

473
00:28:57,092 --> 00:28:59,224
This isn't a good idea.

474
00:28:59,259 --> 00:29:01,193
You know you're not supposed
to be around her.

475
00:29:02,493 --> 00:29:03,833
Does her mom know about this?

476
00:29:03,868 --> 00:29:05,263
I just wanted to see her.

477
00:29:05,298 --> 00:29:07,298
Mary has kept her from me
all this time.

478
00:29:07,333 --> 00:29:10,004
Why do you suddenly need
to see her so bad, why now?

479
00:29:10,039 --> 00:29:11,039
Liz.

480
00:29:14,978 --> 00:29:16,076
(Liz sighs)

481
00:29:18,212 --> 00:29:20,080
Why the hell do you have
her homework, anyway?

482
00:29:20,984 --> 00:29:24,480
Look, I didn't plan for this.

483
00:29:24,515 --> 00:29:26,218
She needs some help at school,

484
00:29:26,253 --> 00:29:28,583
so I'm gonna help her
with a few essays.

485
00:29:28,618 --> 00:29:29,751
(Liz scoffs)

486
00:29:29,786 --> 00:29:31,861
You haven't seen her
since she was eight
years old,

487
00:29:31,896 --> 00:29:33,005
and you're gonna
reconnect with her

488
00:29:33,029 --> 00:29:34,589
by doing her homework for her?

489
00:29:34,624 --> 00:29:36,129
It's fine.
It's not fine.

490
00:29:39,002 --> 00:29:40,962
She shouldn't be around you
when you're like this.

491
00:29:42,104 --> 00:29:44,632
What if something happens,
what if you need help?

492
00:29:44,667 --> 00:29:46,172
(Device beeping rapidly)

493
00:29:46,207 --> 00:29:47,371
Charlie, calm down.

494
00:29:48,374 --> 00:29:50,044
Hey. No.
(Beeping stops)

495
00:29:52,576 --> 00:29:54,015
Okay. Forget it, then.

496
00:29:55,315 --> 00:29:57,348
I'm worried about her.
Why?

497
00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:01,550
Oh, you're spying on her now?

498
00:30:03,290 --> 00:30:05,158
It doesn't look
like she has any friends.

499
00:30:09,329 --> 00:30:10,361
I don't think this is...

500
00:30:15,170 --> 00:30:17,335
(Charlie scoffs)
Come on, a dead dog?

501
00:30:23,948 --> 00:30:25,409
I'm worried that she's forgotten

502
00:30:25,444 --> 00:30:27,279
what an amazing person she is.

503
00:30:32,517 --> 00:30:34,352
She's just a teenager.

504
00:30:34,387 --> 00:30:36,420
Everyone is insane
when they're a teenager.

505
00:30:36,455 --> 00:30:37,354
When I was her age,

506
00:30:37,390 --> 00:30:39,126
when my dad
would really piss me off...

507
00:30:41,031 --> 00:30:43,271
I'm just lucky
I didn't get arrested,
that's all I'll say.

508
00:30:46,531 --> 00:30:47,563
Point is,

509
00:30:49,567 --> 00:30:52,073
bringing her over here
is a bad idea.

510
00:30:52,108 --> 00:30:54,148
You have enough to deal with
right now, you hear me?

511
00:30:55,639 --> 00:30:57,276
Do not bring her
over here again.

512
00:30:58,048 --> 00:30:59,146
Okay.

513
00:31:00,512 --> 00:31:01,512
Okay.

514
00:31:06,617 --> 00:31:09,123
It's not like she's alone,
you know. She has her mom.

515
00:31:15,197 --> 00:31:17,527
Liz: Ugh, shit.
I have to go soon.

516
00:31:19,003 --> 00:31:21,201
I hate these night shifts.
(Utensils clacking)

517
00:31:21,236 --> 00:31:25,271
It's just a steady parade
of dumb, drunk college kids.

518
00:31:25,306 --> 00:31:26,503
(Faucet runs)

519
00:31:27,605 --> 00:31:29,374
(Laughing) Did I tell you
about this girl

520
00:31:29,409 --> 00:31:31,376
from a few nights ago?
(Gags)

521
00:31:31,411 --> 00:31:33,983
The puke was bright purple,
I swear.

522
00:31:34,018 --> 00:31:36,447
(Choking)
(Liz laughing)

523
00:31:36,482 --> 00:31:37,482
I mean, what is that?

524
00:31:37,517 --> 00:31:40,352
Why can't these kids
just drink beer? You know.

525
00:31:41,751 --> 00:31:44,059
Are you choking?
(Continues choking)

526
00:31:44,094 --> 00:31:46,292
Oh, god!
Okay, lean on that arm.

527
00:31:47,064 --> 00:31:48,064
Lean on that arm!

528
00:31:49,033 --> 00:31:50,395
Okay, I need
you to rock with me.

529
00:31:51,233 --> 00:31:53,266
(Grunts)
(Chokes)

530
00:31:53,301 --> 00:31:54,630
(Grunts)
(Charlie gasps)

531
00:31:55,567 --> 00:31:56,599
(Liz yells)

532
00:31:56,634 --> 00:31:59,008
(Coughs, wheezes)

533
00:31:59,043 --> 00:32:01,703
(Coughing, wheezing)

534
00:32:01,738 --> 00:32:03,738
(Gasping)

535
00:32:04,774 --> 00:32:06,411
I'm okay. (Gasps)

536
00:32:07,546 --> 00:32:11,350
I'm okay. (Gasps)

537
00:32:11,385 --> 00:32:14,023
(Shouts) God damn it, Charlie,
what is wrong with you?

538
00:32:14,058 --> 00:32:14,957
(Hits)

539
00:32:14,993 --> 00:32:17,191
Chew your food
like a normal human being!

540
00:32:17,226 --> 00:32:19,127
You could have just died
right in front of me!

541
00:32:19,162 --> 00:32:20,162
I'm sorry.

542
00:32:21,230 --> 00:32:24,132
(Charlie whimpers and sobs)

543
00:32:26,235 --> 00:32:27,267
I'm sorry, Liz.

544
00:32:39,380 --> 00:32:40,412
(Object clacks)

545
00:32:47,586 --> 00:32:48,717
(Liz exhales)

546
00:32:55,528 --> 00:32:56,528
It's okay.

547
00:33:20,619 --> 00:33:22,751
Charlie: I read through
some of the posts

548
00:33:22,786 --> 00:33:25,721
in the class discussion forum
this morning.

549
00:33:25,756 --> 00:33:28,262
In particular, a post

550
00:33:28,297 --> 00:33:32,530
about crafting a good thesis,
and I quote,

551
00:33:32,565 --> 00:33:34,730
"just pick a sentence
from the reading

552
00:33:34,765 --> 00:33:37,271
"and say, 'it's good, '
or some shit."

553
00:33:37,306 --> 00:33:40,340
Listen, at this point
in the course,

554
00:33:40,375 --> 00:33:43,409
I have given you all that I can,

555
00:33:43,444 --> 00:33:46,775
in terms of structure,
building a thesis,

556
00:33:46,810 --> 00:33:48,414
paragraph organization.

557
00:33:49,615 --> 00:33:52,484
But if all of that isn't built

558
00:33:52,519 --> 00:33:55,355
on your own original ideas
and truthful analysis,

559
00:33:55,390 --> 00:33:56,686
it doesn't mean anything.

560
00:33:58,426 --> 00:34:00,624
Think about that
as you write and revise.

561
00:34:00,659 --> 00:34:03,297
Think about the truth
of your argument.

562
00:34:04,762 --> 00:34:08,731
I know this may sound silly,
but it's important.

563
00:34:10,372 --> 00:34:12,801
Promise, it's important.

564
00:34:16,411 --> 00:34:17,806
(Bird chirping)

565
00:34:32,493 --> 00:34:34,559
(Breathing heavily)

566
00:34:43,603 --> 00:34:44,635
(Straining)

567
00:34:45,407 --> 00:34:46,571
(Key clatters)

568
00:34:53,580 --> 00:34:56,350
(Grunting softly)

569
00:35:04,954 --> 00:35:06,228
(Key clacks)

570
00:35:07,924 --> 00:35:09,198
(Claw clicks)

571
00:35:17,538 --> 00:35:19,505
(Muttering indistinctly)

572
00:35:22,477 --> 00:35:23,608
(Sighs)

573
00:35:31,882 --> 00:35:34,520
This is... (Exhales)

574
00:35:34,555 --> 00:35:37,193
You say that Walt Whitman
wrote<i> song for myself.</i>

575
00:35:37,525 --> 00:35:38,722
Yeah?

576
00:35:38,757 --> 00:35:40,493
It's called<i> song of myself.</i>

577
00:35:42,332 --> 00:35:43,364
My title's better.

578
00:35:45,533 --> 00:35:46,533
Yeah.

579
00:35:47,568 --> 00:35:48,568
Well...

580
00:35:49,504 --> 00:35:50,544
Okay, I'll just change it.

581
00:35:52,342 --> 00:35:54,705
"The poem<i> song of myself</i>

582
00:35:54,740 --> 00:35:56,707
"is in a book
called<i> leaves of grass.</i>

583
00:35:56,742 --> 00:35:58,412
"It was written by Walt Whitman

584
00:35:58,447 --> 00:36:00,612
"and was published in 1855.

585
00:36:00,647 --> 00:36:02,581
"He paid for the first
publication himself."

586
00:36:02,616 --> 00:36:05,617
You don't have to read it
out loud. Just rewrite it.

587
00:36:05,652 --> 00:36:07,685
You're supposed
to analyze the poem.

588
00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:09,258
This is just a list of facts.

589
00:36:09,293 --> 00:36:11,458
Yup. Thank you, Wikipedia.

590
00:36:13,022 --> 00:36:14,725
(Smacks lips)

591
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,562
You know, it's really
an amazing poem.

592
00:36:16,597 --> 00:36:20,368
Whitman uses the metaphor
of "i" not to refer to himself,

593
00:36:20,403 --> 00:36:23,965
but to explode
the very definition of self

594
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,473
in favor of a more
all-encompassing...

595
00:36:26,508 --> 00:36:27,804
I really, really don't care.

596
00:36:32,481 --> 00:36:34,801
You know, I think
you might like it
if you actually read it.

597
00:36:35,847 --> 00:36:38,485
You're just like my teachers.

598
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:40,883
You think just because
I'm not losing my shit
over the poem,

599
00:36:40,918 --> 00:36:42,357
it's because I didn't read it.

600
00:36:42,392 --> 00:36:43,358
I did read it.

601
00:36:43,393 --> 00:36:46,020
It's overwritten, and dumb,
and repetitive.

602
00:36:46,055 --> 00:36:48,693
And even though he thinks
his metaphor of "i" is deep,

603
00:36:48,728 --> 00:36:50,596
it's actually
just a bunch of bullshit.

604
00:36:50,631 --> 00:36:51,564
And, in reality,

605
00:36:51,599 --> 00:36:54,831
he's just some worthless
19th century faggot.

606
00:36:57,374 --> 00:36:59,803
That's an interesting
perspective.

607
00:36:59,838 --> 00:37:01,574
It would make
for an interesting essay.

608
00:37:03,974 --> 00:37:07,041
Just write that thing
about exploding
the definition of self.

609
00:37:07,076 --> 00:37:08,515
My English teacher will love it.

610
00:37:13,082 --> 00:37:14,422
(Charlie sighs)

611
00:37:16,987 --> 00:37:19,823
So, how's your mom doing?
Oh, my god.

612
00:37:21,563 --> 00:37:23,838
Look, if you're not
gonna write
these essays for me, then...

613
00:37:23,862 --> 00:37:27,600
Charlie: Ellie,
I don't need you here
to write these essays for you.

614
00:37:27,635 --> 00:37:29,305
If you want to go, you can go.

615
00:37:30,638 --> 00:37:31,798
You can still have the money.

616
00:37:34,576 --> 00:37:36,906
I thought you wanted
to get to know me.
I do,

617
00:37:36,941 --> 00:37:38,545
but I don't want
to force you to be here.

618
00:37:40,384 --> 00:37:41,449
It's up to you.

619
00:37:44,982 --> 00:37:45,982
(Puts bag down)

620
00:37:47,556 --> 00:37:48,556
She's fine.

621
00:37:49,525 --> 00:37:50,623
Mom. I guess.

622
00:37:51,758 --> 00:37:54,022
She happy?
When she drinks.

623
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:58,565
You guys still live
in that duplex
over on orchard?

624
00:37:59,667 --> 00:38:00,987
You don't even know
where we live?

625
00:38:03,704 --> 00:38:04,715
You don't stay in touch
with mom?

626
00:38:04,739 --> 00:38:08,377
Yeah, I check in with her
as often as she lets me.

627
00:38:08,412 --> 00:38:10,052
She really only tells me
things about you.

628
00:38:10,810 --> 00:38:12,073
Why?

629
00:38:12,108 --> 00:38:13,877
Because that's all
I want to know about.

630
00:38:20,149 --> 00:38:21,390
When I was 11,

631
00:38:21,425 --> 00:38:22,787
we moved
to the other side of town,

632
00:38:23,658 --> 00:38:24,756
near the Walmart.

633
00:38:25,462 --> 00:38:26,462
Is your mother

634
00:38:27,563 --> 00:38:29,563
with anyone right now?
No.

635
00:38:30,434 --> 00:38:32,126
Why, you interested?

636
00:38:32,161 --> 00:38:34,733
(Chuckles) No, of course not.

637
00:38:42,644 --> 00:38:44,039
Why'd you gain all that weight?

638
00:38:44,074 --> 00:38:45,340
(Inhales deeply) I don't...

639
00:38:45,376 --> 00:38:47,696
If you're gonna
interrogate me,
I'm gonna do the same thing.

640
00:38:50,047 --> 00:38:51,287
Why'd you gain all that weight?

641
00:38:55,591 --> 00:38:58,955
Someone close to me
passed away, and it...

642
00:38:59,793 --> 00:39:01,991
It had an effect on me.

643
00:39:02,026 --> 00:39:03,026
Your boyfriend.

644
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,864
My partner.
Your student.

645
00:39:06,899 --> 00:39:09,031
He wasn't that young.
It was a night school course.

646
00:39:09,066 --> 00:39:10,106
Ellie: Oh, I remember him.

647
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:12,749
You had him over for dinner once

648
00:39:12,773 --> 00:39:14,707
when mom was in Montana,
visiting grandma.

649
00:39:16,546 --> 00:39:17,644
You made steaks.

650
00:39:18,647 --> 00:39:20,141
The good kind.

651
00:39:20,176 --> 00:39:23,111
Better meal
than you ever made
for me or mom.

652
00:39:23,146 --> 00:39:25,652
I remember hearing
you two talk
after I went to bed.

653
00:39:28,954 --> 00:39:30,723
How do you remember all that?

654
00:39:30,758 --> 00:39:33,022
I told you,
I never forget anything.

655
00:39:43,199 --> 00:39:44,199
How did he die?

656
00:39:46,202 --> 00:39:48,510
I... I don't... i'm...

657
00:39:48,545 --> 00:39:50,809
I really don't want
to talk about that right now,

658
00:39:52,076 --> 00:39:53,581
if that's all right with you.

659
00:39:58,654 --> 00:40:00,654
(Cell phone keys clacking)

660
00:40:05,221 --> 00:40:06,693
I'll write these essays for you.

661
00:40:08,598 --> 00:40:11,764
I want you to do some writing,
just for me.

662
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:14,635
I hate writing essays.

663
00:40:14,670 --> 00:40:16,230
Just think about the poem
for a while,

664
00:40:17,233 --> 00:40:18,233
and write something.

665
00:40:20,940 --> 00:40:22,841
Be honest.

666
00:40:22,876 --> 00:40:24,942
Tell me what you really think.

667
00:40:24,977 --> 00:40:26,680
You want me to write
what I really think?

668
00:40:28,178 --> 00:40:29,243
I'll be right back.

669
00:40:30,587 --> 00:40:32,620
Just write whatever you want.

670
00:40:35,218 --> 00:40:38,593
(Charlie groaning
with exertion)

671
00:40:40,927 --> 00:40:42,025
(Sighs heavily)

672
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,600
(Continues groaning)

673
00:40:45,635 --> 00:40:48,966
(Breathing heavily)

674
00:41:21,638 --> 00:41:23,033
(Water running)

675
00:41:25,642 --> 00:41:27,741
(Suppressed sobbing)

676
00:41:28,337 --> 00:41:30,876
(Muffled sobbing)

677
00:41:30,911 --> 00:41:32,746
(Water continues running)

678
00:41:34,112 --> 00:41:36,585
Are you okay?

679
00:41:36,620 --> 00:41:38,257
Unless you're dying,
there's no way
I'm going in there.

680
00:41:38,281 --> 00:41:39,819
(Sniffles)

681
00:41:39,854 --> 00:41:42,085
(Exhales) Oh, yeah.
I'm fine. I'm fine.

682
00:41:48,896 --> 00:41:50,698
(Brid wings flapping)

683
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:00,037
(Knock at door)

684
00:42:01,271 --> 00:42:03,041
(Water running)
(Knocking continues)

685
00:42:06,914 --> 00:42:08,243
Hi.

686
00:42:08,278 --> 00:42:09,816
I was looking for Charlie?

687
00:42:10,412 --> 00:42:11,653
He's in the bathroom.

688
00:42:12,315 --> 00:42:13,721
Oh, I can come back.

689
00:42:19,124 --> 00:42:20,959
Are you his friend, or...

690
00:42:20,994 --> 00:42:22,290
I'm his daughter.

691
00:42:22,325 --> 00:42:24,831
Oh.
Are you surprised?

692
00:42:25,834 --> 00:42:26,933
Yeah, I guess.

693
00:42:26,969 --> 00:42:28,945
What's more surprising?
That a gay guy
has a daughter,

694
00:42:28,969 --> 00:42:30,606
or that someone
actually found his penis?

695
00:42:33,270 --> 00:42:34,270
I'm kidding.

696
00:42:35,338 --> 00:42:36,370
Jesus.

697
00:42:37,307 --> 00:42:38,506
Um...

698
00:42:38,542 --> 00:42:41,375
Charlie was interested
in hearing more
about my church,

699
00:42:41,410 --> 00:42:42,276
and I brought some literature...

700
00:42:42,311 --> 00:42:44,983
Are you mormon?
No, I'm from new life.

701
00:42:45,018 --> 00:42:47,689
Oh. That end times cult thing.

702
00:42:47,724 --> 00:42:49,658
(Pours juice)
It's not a cult.

703
00:42:49,693 --> 00:42:51,396
Tell you one thing
that I like about religion.

704
00:42:51,420 --> 00:42:52,859
What I like about religion

705
00:42:52,894 --> 00:42:54,993
is that it assumes
that everyone is an idiot

706
00:42:55,028 --> 00:42:56,973
and that they're all incapable
of saving themselves.

707
00:42:56,997 --> 00:42:58,700
I think they got
something right with that.

708
00:42:58,735 --> 00:42:59,866
I don't think like that...

709
00:42:59,901 --> 00:43:01,736
What I don't like about religion

710
00:43:01,771 --> 00:43:04,200
is that when people
accept Jesus or whatever,

711
00:43:04,235 --> 00:43:05,872
they suddenly think
that they're better

712
00:43:05,907 --> 00:43:06,984
than everyone else.
(Charlie grunting)

713
00:43:07,008 --> 00:43:09,172
By accepting the fact
that they're stupid sinners,

714
00:43:09,207 --> 00:43:12,406
somehow they've become better,
and they turn into assholes.

715
00:43:14,982 --> 00:43:16,223
I don't really know what to say.

716
00:43:16,247 --> 00:43:18,214
I have some pamphlets
that I think would...

717
00:43:18,249 --> 00:43:20,084
(Camera clicks)
Why did you just do that?

718
00:43:20,119 --> 00:43:21,789
Are you coming back tomorrow?

719
00:43:21,824 --> 00:43:23,219
I'm not sure...
Come back tomorrow.

720
00:43:23,254 --> 00:43:25,254
I'll be here
around the same time.

721
00:43:25,289 --> 00:43:26,893
I'm sorry, what's happening?

722
00:43:27,456 --> 00:43:28,829
(Camera clicks)

723
00:43:29,293 --> 00:43:30,864
Oh!

724
00:43:30,899 --> 00:43:32,833
Hi. I was just coming over

725
00:43:32,868 --> 00:43:34,043
to share these pamphlets
with you.

726
00:43:34,067 --> 00:43:35,427
You'll have those done
by tomorrow?

727
00:43:36,036 --> 00:43:37,036
Sure.

728
00:43:37,807 --> 00:43:39,136
Five-page minimum.

729
00:43:39,171 --> 00:43:40,401
It'll be good, I promise.

730
00:43:43,747 --> 00:43:45,340
I'm Ellie.
Thomas.

731
00:43:46,211 --> 00:43:48,277
(Breathes heavily)

732
00:43:49,346 --> 00:43:50,686
(Slams door shut)

733
00:43:54,285 --> 00:43:55,318
So...

734
00:43:55,353 --> 00:43:57,924
Christ's return
has been promised
for centuries.

735
00:43:57,959 --> 00:43:59,332
But there are a lot
of clues in scripture

736
00:43:59,356 --> 00:44:00,522
that suggest it's imminent.

737
00:44:00,557 --> 00:44:02,929
So, that means
we don't have time
to deny the gospel,

738
00:44:02,964 --> 00:44:04,139
we don't have...
Do you really think

739
00:44:04,163 --> 00:44:06,361
that the world's gonna end soon?

740
00:44:06,396 --> 00:44:08,374
Well, the Bible says
that no one shall know the day

741
00:44:08,398 --> 00:44:09,903
or the hour, but,

742
00:44:09,938 --> 00:44:11,858
yeah, I think we're probably
living in end times.

743
00:44:12,534 --> 00:44:13,940
And that doesn't bother you?

744
00:44:13,975 --> 00:44:15,337
No. It's the idea

745
00:44:15,372 --> 00:44:18,010
that a better world is coming
to replace this one.

746
00:44:18,045 --> 00:44:20,408
That everything terrible
about this country,

747
00:44:20,443 --> 00:44:22,278
this planet,
is gonna be wiped clean,

748
00:44:22,313 --> 00:44:25,182
and replaced with something
pure and holy, and...

749
00:44:25,217 --> 00:44:27,118
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be rude,

750
00:44:27,153 --> 00:44:29,021
but I know all this.

751
00:44:29,826 --> 00:44:31,089
What do you mean?

752
00:44:31,124 --> 00:44:33,355
I have probably read everything

753
00:44:33,390 --> 00:44:36,325
new life church
has ever written.

754
00:44:36,360 --> 00:44:39,361
Probably every pamphlet
they've ever published.

755
00:44:39,396 --> 00:44:41,869
Wow, that's great
and everything,

756
00:44:41,904 --> 00:44:43,871
but these tracts
are just the beginning.

757
00:44:43,906 --> 00:44:46,466
There's so much more
in the Bible that we can...
I read the Bible.

758
00:44:47,107 --> 00:44:48,436
Really?

759
00:44:48,471 --> 00:44:50,405
Sure. Couple times.

760
00:44:51,947 --> 00:44:53,408
Did you like it?

761
00:44:53,443 --> 00:44:55,949
I thought it was devastating.

762
00:44:55,984 --> 00:44:58,820
God creates us,
expels us from paradise.

763
00:44:58,855 --> 00:45:01,823
We wander around
for thousands of years
killing each other,

764
00:45:01,858 --> 00:45:04,859
before he comes back
and saves 144,000 of us.

765
00:45:04,894 --> 00:45:08,093
Meanwhile, seven-
and-a-half billion of us
fall into hell.

766
00:45:10,394 --> 00:45:12,427
Yeah.

767
00:45:12,462 --> 00:45:14,429
That's not really
how I interpret it, but...

768
00:45:16,070 --> 00:45:17,872
Charlie, you have to understand,

769
00:45:18,941 --> 00:45:21,337
god hasn't turned
his back on you.

770
00:45:21,372 --> 00:45:24,208
If you accept him,
he'll release you from this.

771
00:45:24,243 --> 00:45:25,572
(Sipping)
He'll take your soul

772
00:45:25,607 --> 00:45:27,948
out of this body
and give you
a brand-new body.

773
00:45:27,983 --> 00:45:30,115
One made of pure light.
I mean, don't you want that?

774
00:45:30,150 --> 00:45:33,217
I'm not interested
in being saved.

775
00:45:33,252 --> 00:45:34,889
(Sighs)
I appreciate what you did

776
00:45:34,924 --> 00:45:37,056
the other day, but you can go.

777
00:45:37,091 --> 00:45:38,596
This doesn't sound
like something that I...

778
00:45:38,620 --> 00:45:41,357
Look, I really think
that god brought me here
for a reason.

779
00:45:41,392 --> 00:45:43,359
There's a reason
why I knocked on your door

780
00:45:43,394 --> 00:45:45,394
right when you needed
someone the most.

781
00:45:45,429 --> 00:45:48,430
Isn't there any way I can help?

782
00:45:48,465 --> 00:45:49,576
I mean, that's the entire reason

783
00:45:49,600 --> 00:45:51,609
why I became a missionary
in the first place, right?

784
00:45:51,633 --> 00:45:53,270
There's something
you can do for me.

785
00:45:57,507 --> 00:46:00,508
What?
Um, nothing I just...

786
00:46:00,543 --> 00:46:04,919
I hope you know
I wasn't talking about, um...

787
00:46:05,482 --> 00:46:07,614
What?
I'm not...

788
00:46:07,649 --> 00:46:09,583
Oh, my god.
I'm... I'm sorry.
I just...

789
00:46:09,618 --> 00:46:10,991
No.
With what
you were watching

790
00:46:11,026 --> 00:46:12,102
the first time
I came in here, I just...

791
00:46:12,126 --> 00:46:14,225
(Chuckles) I am not
attracted to you.

792
00:46:14,260 --> 00:46:17,459
Please, you gotta believe me
when I say
I'm not attracted to you.

793
00:46:17,494 --> 00:46:18,526
You're a fetus.

794
00:46:21,333 --> 00:46:22,530
I'm sorry.

795
00:46:24,204 --> 00:46:25,269
(Sighs)

796
00:46:29,374 --> 00:46:31,374
Thomas, tell me the truth.

797
00:46:34,379 --> 00:46:35,477
You find me disgusting?

798
00:46:38,922 --> 00:46:39,922
No.

799
00:46:42,486 --> 00:46:43,617
I just want to help.

800
00:46:44,653 --> 00:46:46,554
Please, just let me help.

801
00:46:56,038 --> 00:46:58,302
(Grunts softly)

802
00:46:58,337 --> 00:47:00,403
Thank you.
That's very helpful.

803
00:47:07,346 --> 00:47:09,951
What happened to your...
Sorry. Your friend, Liz,

804
00:47:09,986 --> 00:47:12,415
she said that your boyfriend,

805
00:47:12,450 --> 00:47:14,351
he used to go to new life?
(Door opens)

806
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:18,190
Liz: Charlie?
Yeah.

807
00:47:19,061 --> 00:47:21,028
I got you this.

808
00:47:21,063 --> 00:47:22,524
I did some asking around, and...

809
00:47:24,726 --> 00:47:26,528
What the fuck is he doing here?

810
00:47:26,563 --> 00:47:28,266
He's just helping me
with something.

811
00:47:28,301 --> 00:47:29,630
Take it easy, Liz.

812
00:47:29,665 --> 00:47:32,039
Okay, well, you can go now.

813
00:47:32,470 --> 00:47:33,470
Liz.

814
00:47:34,637 --> 00:47:35,637
Go home!

815
00:47:36,980 --> 00:47:38,441
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Leave it.

816
00:47:38,476 --> 00:47:40,476
(Charlie grunts)
I said, leave it!

817
00:47:40,511 --> 00:47:42,445
Charlie:
Liz, would you stop?

818
00:47:44,383 --> 00:47:47,516
Actually, stay.
We'll have a little chat.

819
00:47:51,555 --> 00:47:52,555
What's this?

820
00:47:54,030 --> 00:47:55,128
The fuck does it look like?

821
00:47:57,561 --> 00:47:59,561
It's a fat-guy wheelchair.

822
00:47:59,596 --> 00:48:01,563
And why do I need a wheelchair?

823
00:48:01,598 --> 00:48:04,698
I was talking to one
of the er doctors,

824
00:48:04,733 --> 00:48:08,042
he said moderate activity
would be a good idea.

825
00:48:08,077 --> 00:48:09,648
Sense of independence
might help you out.

826
00:48:09,672 --> 00:48:10,849
And what did you pay
for this thing?

827
00:48:10,873 --> 00:48:13,278
Nothing. We ordered it
for a patient
a few months ago.

828
00:48:13,313 --> 00:48:14,422
It's just been sitting around.

829
00:48:14,446 --> 00:48:15,606
What happened to the patient?

830
00:48:17,020 --> 00:48:19,053
Just try it out.

831
00:48:19,088 --> 00:48:20,088
Please.

832
00:48:21,123 --> 00:48:22,287
(Sighs)

833
00:48:23,026 --> 00:48:24,652
(Grunting)

834
00:48:27,591 --> 00:48:29,294
(Exhales sharply)

835
00:48:30,330 --> 00:48:33,727
Beep. Beep. Beep.

836
00:48:35,566 --> 00:48:38,468
(Laughing)

837
00:48:39,603 --> 00:48:41,207
Charlie: Can I sit?
I gotcha.

838
00:48:42,408 --> 00:48:44,375
(Charlie groaning)

839
00:48:47,050 --> 00:48:48,115
(Chuckles)

840
00:48:49,448 --> 00:48:51,448
Good?
Yeah, actually,
this is really nice.

841
00:48:54,090 --> 00:48:55,353
Yeah.

842
00:48:55,388 --> 00:48:57,091
Let me clear some space for you.

843
00:48:57,654 --> 00:48:58,654
Charlie: Whee.

844
00:49:00,261 --> 00:49:01,261
Hello?

845
00:49:06,399 --> 00:49:07,530
Charlie: Look, no hands.

846
00:49:09,501 --> 00:49:11,435
Thank you, Liz.
This is great, so great.

847
00:49:11,470 --> 00:49:14,669
(Chuckles) See? I told you.
Charlie: I know.

848
00:49:14,704 --> 00:49:16,440
I should go.
Ah-pap-pap.

849
00:49:16,475 --> 00:49:17,795
Not until we have
our little chat.

850
00:49:19,148 --> 00:49:20,675
What?
Liz: Come on.

851
00:49:27,387 --> 00:49:28,518
Liz.

852
00:49:28,553 --> 00:49:30,157
Just gimme a minute with him.

853
00:49:39,861 --> 00:49:41,432
(Dog barks in distance)

854
00:49:57,681 --> 00:49:58,681
Where are you from?

855
00:50:00,189 --> 00:50:01,222
What?

856
00:50:01,257 --> 00:50:03,217
You said you've only been here
for a little while.

857
00:50:06,294 --> 00:50:07,755
Where you from?

858
00:50:07,790 --> 00:50:11,132
Uh, Iowa.
A town called Waterloo?

859
00:50:11,761 --> 00:50:12,793
You asking me?

860
00:50:13,697 --> 00:50:15,169
No. I'm from Waterloo.

861
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:17,204
Okay.

862
00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:19,305
Your whole family
move out here for new life?

863
00:50:20,308 --> 00:50:21,769
No, it's just me.

864
00:50:21,804 --> 00:50:24,310
I wanted to do
some missionary work
before school.

865
00:50:24,345 --> 00:50:25,707
(Chuckles)

866
00:50:25,742 --> 00:50:28,149
You're from Iowa,

867
00:50:28,184 --> 00:50:31,449
and you came to Idaho
to do missionary work?

868
00:50:31,484 --> 00:50:33,319
Why aren't you
in Africa or something?

869
00:50:33,354 --> 00:50:35,156
Idaho needs the word
as much as anywhere else.

870
00:50:42,231 --> 00:50:43,824
Okay, listen.

871
00:50:43,859 --> 00:50:45,463
I know this is fun for you.

872
00:50:45,498 --> 00:50:46,662
You get to travel around,

873
00:50:46,697 --> 00:50:48,301
act superior than everyone else,

874
00:50:49,436 --> 00:50:50,732
and eventually, you go home,

875
00:50:50,767 --> 00:50:52,866
get some boring job,
have too many kids.

876
00:50:52,901 --> 00:50:53,733
It's god's plan.

877
00:50:53,769 --> 00:50:57,145
But there are
other types of people.

878
00:50:57,180 --> 00:50:58,410
People like Charlie,

879
00:50:58,445 --> 00:51:01,644
for whom this amazing plan
doesn't fit.

880
00:51:02,713 --> 00:51:05,846
So, just stay away from him.

881
00:51:05,881 --> 00:51:07,320
He doesn't need this right now.

882
00:51:09,654 --> 00:51:11,390
I disagree.

883
00:51:11,425 --> 00:51:14,162
(Exhales) Excuse me?
Sorry, I just, uh...

884
00:51:14,197 --> 00:51:15,559
He's dying.

885
00:51:15,594 --> 00:51:17,198
He's refusing
to go to the hospital.

886
00:51:17,233 --> 00:51:18,760
What he needs
is spiritual guidance.

887
00:51:18,795 --> 00:51:20,267
And you're gonna give him that?

888
00:51:20,302 --> 00:51:22,302
No. God will.

889
00:51:24,933 --> 00:51:26,141
I see.

890
00:51:45,261 --> 00:51:47,360
My big brother
did some missionary work
for new life.

891
00:51:49,430 --> 00:51:50,660
Went to South America.

892
00:51:51,465 --> 00:51:53,630
Oh.
Yeah.

893
00:51:53,665 --> 00:51:54,631
I was the black sheep.

894
00:51:54,666 --> 00:51:57,271
I refused to go to church
ever since I was 12.

895
00:51:58,307 --> 00:51:59,702
Dad knew I was a lost cause,

896
00:52:02,245 --> 00:52:06,247
but not my brother,
he loved new life.

897
00:52:06,282 --> 00:52:08,348
He wrote me a letter
a few months after he left,

898
00:52:08,383 --> 00:52:10,482
told me he was tired,

899
00:52:10,517 --> 00:52:11,956
and lonely, but he didn't
want to come home

900
00:52:11,980 --> 00:52:13,460
because he didn't want
to get married.

901
00:52:14,455 --> 00:52:15,630
He didn't want to get married?

902
00:52:15,654 --> 00:52:17,423
Dad had set it all up.

903
00:52:17,458 --> 00:52:18,424
Pushed him into getting married

904
00:52:18,459 --> 00:52:21,823
to this girl from the church
he barely knew.

905
00:52:21,858 --> 00:52:24,397
But when he came back,
he met someone else.

906
00:52:24,432 --> 00:52:26,432
Fell in love,
started a whole new life.

907
00:52:26,467 --> 00:52:29,501
And dad kicked him out
of the church.

908
00:52:30,405 --> 00:52:31,437
And the family.

909
00:52:33,309 --> 00:52:34,539
I thought he was gonna be able

910
00:52:34,574 --> 00:52:36,607
to get over
all that religious stuff,

911
00:52:36,642 --> 00:52:39,907
but it was like a cancer.

912
00:52:39,942 --> 00:52:42,481
He couldn't shake it.

913
00:52:42,516 --> 00:52:44,318
He just caved in on himself,

914
00:52:44,353 --> 00:52:45,781
stopped sleeping,
stopped eating.

915
00:52:45,816 --> 00:52:46,947
Lost a ton of weight.

916
00:52:48,654 --> 00:52:50,522
One night, he doesn't come home.

917
00:52:52,658 --> 00:52:54,559
Couple weeks later,
this guy is out jogging

918
00:52:54,594 --> 00:52:56,396
on a bike path
near the river in lewiston,

919
00:52:56,431 --> 00:52:57,991
sees something washed up
on shore,

920
00:52:58,026 --> 00:52:59,828
and that was Alan.

921
00:53:02,305 --> 00:53:04,470
The love of Charlie's life,
and my brother.

922
00:53:05,968 --> 00:53:08,408
Oh.
Yeah. "Oh."

923
00:53:08,443 --> 00:53:10,938
To this day,
my dad won't admit it.

924
00:53:10,973 --> 00:53:13,479
Told the whole congregation
Alan's death was...

925
00:53:15,417 --> 00:53:17,450
Just an unfortunate accident.

926
00:53:20,081 --> 00:53:22,851
Denying him to the end.

927
00:53:31,862 --> 00:53:34,830
Look, I know
that you don't trust me.

928
00:53:34,865 --> 00:53:37,503
And I know
that I haven't known him
for very long,

929
00:53:37,538 --> 00:53:40,473
but I really think
that god brought me here,

930
00:53:40,508 --> 00:53:42,673
right when Charlie
needs it the most.

931
00:53:42,708 --> 00:53:45,544
I just want him to be saved,
that's all...
You listen to me!

932
00:53:45,579 --> 00:53:46,908
He doesn't need saving!

933
00:53:48,076 --> 00:53:50,582
In a few days, he's probably
going to be dead,

934
00:53:50,617 --> 00:53:53,046
so what he needs
is for you to leave him alone.

935
00:53:53,081 --> 00:53:54,718
I'm the only one
who can help him.

936
00:53:54,753 --> 00:53:56,049
You understand me?
Charlie: Liz.

937
00:54:05,027 --> 00:54:06,565
(Liz sighs)

938
00:54:10,098 --> 00:54:12,835
(Cutlery clacking)

939
00:54:18,711 --> 00:54:20,546
(Charlie wheezes softly)

940
00:54:22,715 --> 00:54:24,077
(TV turns on)

941
00:54:24,112 --> 00:54:26,981
You wanna watch some<i> Maury?</i>

942
00:54:28,556 --> 00:54:29,984
Sounds good, right?

943
00:54:30,019 --> 00:54:33,526
(Indistinct chatter on TV)

944
00:54:33,561 --> 00:54:35,099
Actually, I got
another night shift tonight.

945
00:54:35,123 --> 00:54:36,727
I better, uh...

946
00:54:36,762 --> 00:54:37,762
You good for the night?

947
00:54:39,765 --> 00:54:42,062
(Smacks lips)
I'll leave the remote here.

948
00:54:47,509 --> 00:54:49,036
(Door opens)

949
00:54:52,811 --> 00:54:53,843
(Door closes)

950
00:54:55,913 --> 00:54:57,385
(Lock clicks)

951
00:55:18,738 --> 00:55:20,100
(Grunts softly)

952
00:55:22,676 --> 00:55:25,138
(Light switch clicking)

953
00:55:28,209 --> 00:55:29,483
(Sighs)

954
00:55:36,085 --> 00:55:37,557
(Sighs)

955
00:55:43,499 --> 00:55:45,895
(Sniffing)

956
00:55:47,767 --> 00:55:49,965
(Chuckles softly)

957
00:56:00,780 --> 00:56:01,780
(Door shuts)

958
00:56:12,121 --> 00:56:13,494
(Knock at door)

959
00:56:13,529 --> 00:56:14,924
Man: Gambino's!

960
00:56:14,959 --> 00:56:16,959
Yeah. You can, uh...

961
00:56:16,994 --> 00:56:19,192
Man: Money in the mailbox,
leave it on the bench.

962
00:56:20,503 --> 00:56:21,799
Yeah. Thanks.

963
00:56:23,869 --> 00:56:24,869
Man: I'm Dan.

964
00:56:27,609 --> 00:56:28,806
What?

965
00:56:28,841 --> 00:56:31,776
Dan: I just...
My name, it's Dan.

966
00:56:33,681 --> 00:56:36,143
I've been coming here
for a while now.

967
00:56:36,178 --> 00:56:38,178
Just thought you'd wanna know
my name.

968
00:56:40,820 --> 00:56:41,852
Charlie.

969
00:56:43,152 --> 00:56:44,657
Dan: Hey, Charlie.

970
00:56:44,692 --> 00:56:46,989
(Mailbox opens, closes)

971
00:56:47,024 --> 00:56:48,221
Dan: Have a good night, okay?

972
00:56:49,026 --> 00:56:52,896
(Footsteps receding)

973
00:56:56,836 --> 00:56:58,069
<i>It sure did.</i>

974
00:56:58,104 --> 00:57:00,640
<i>More Idaho Republicans
want to see senator Ted Cruz</i>

975
00:57:00,675 --> 00:57:02,576
<i>in the white house
than any other candidate.</i>

976
00:57:02,611 --> 00:57:05,546
<i>Cruz will split
Idaho's 32 delegates</i>

977
00:57:05,581 --> 00:57:06,881
<i>with Donald Trump,</i>

978
00:57:06,916 --> 00:57:10,144
<i>the only other candidate
to clear that 20% threshold.</i>

979
00:57:10,179 --> 00:57:13,213
<i>It was a disappointing night
for senator Marco rubio</i>

980
00:57:13,248 --> 00:57:15,116
<i>who failed to win any delegates</i>

981
00:57:15,151 --> 00:57:17,855
<i>in the four states</i>
<i>that held primaries, while...</i>
(Switches TV off)

982
00:57:25,029 --> 00:57:26,897
(Wheelchair squeaking)

983
00:57:45,016 --> 00:57:46,851
"This apartment smells.

984
00:57:46,886 --> 00:57:50,921
"This notebook is retarded.
I hate everyone."

985
00:57:52,694 --> 00:57:53,694
(Sighs)

986
00:58:00,163 --> 00:58:02,999
(Syllabically)
This apartment smells.

987
00:58:03,034 --> 00:58:07,135
This notebook is retarded.

988
00:58:07,170 --> 00:58:10,105
I hate everyone. (Laughing)

989
00:58:12,780 --> 00:58:14,175
(Coughing, wheezing)

990
00:58:14,210 --> 00:58:16,782
(Grunting in pain)

991
00:58:16,817 --> 00:58:18,311
(Coughs)

992
00:58:18,346 --> 00:58:22,018
(Breathing laboriously)

993
00:58:23,692 --> 00:58:25,285
And I felt saddest of all

994
00:58:26,321 --> 00:58:28,189
when I read the boring chapters

995
00:58:29,390 --> 00:58:31,599
that were only descriptions
of whales

996
00:58:32,393 --> 00:58:34,063
because (exhales) I knew

997
00:58:35,869 --> 00:58:38,672
that the author
was just trying to save us

998
00:58:38,707 --> 00:58:40,201
from his own sad story,

999
00:58:41,402 --> 00:58:42,841
just for a little while.

1000
00:58:44,680 --> 00:58:46,108
(Breathes deeply)

1001
00:58:46,143 --> 00:58:47,615
This apartment smells.

1002
00:58:49,949 --> 00:58:52,180
(Inhales deeply)
This apartment smells.

1003
00:58:55,218 --> 00:58:56,954
The author
was just trying to save us

1004
00:58:56,989 --> 00:58:58,219
from his own sad story.

1005
00:58:59,893 --> 00:59:01,057
I hate everyone.

1006
00:59:05,393 --> 00:59:06,601
I hate everyone.

1007
00:59:12,334 --> 00:59:13,334
Do you have it?

1008
00:59:14,270 --> 00:59:15,302
Charlie: I'm almost done.

1009
00:59:17,779 --> 00:59:20,747
You can wait
while I finish it up,

1010
00:59:23,213 --> 00:59:24,245
print it out.

1011
00:59:27,085 --> 00:59:29,085
Maybe while you're waiting,

1012
00:59:29,120 --> 00:59:31,989
you can write some more
in your notebook.
Oh, my god.

1013
00:59:32,024 --> 00:59:34,189
You've only written
a couple sentences so far.

1014
00:59:34,224 --> 00:59:35,056
Can you write more?

1015
00:59:35,092 --> 00:59:37,093
I kind of hate you.
(Chuckling) Yeah.

1016
00:59:37,128 --> 00:59:39,733
Well, you hate everyone.

1017
00:59:40,769 --> 00:59:42,362
Listen, just keep going.

1018
00:59:43,299 --> 00:59:44,299
Forget about the poem.

1019
00:59:44,334 --> 00:59:47,235
Write whatever you want,
whatever you're thinking.

1020
00:59:47,270 --> 00:59:48,874
(Bag thuds)
Okay. Be quiet, just...

1021
00:59:59,447 --> 01:00:01,051
(Exhales deeply)

1022
01:00:05,761 --> 01:00:08,894
You know, I was in
a really strange place
in my life

1023
01:00:08,929 --> 01:00:10,863
when I married your mom.
Did I fucking ask?

1024
01:00:12,064 --> 01:00:13,767
I just wish...

1025
01:00:13,802 --> 01:00:14,999
I'm sor... I'm sorry.

1026
01:00:25,407 --> 01:00:27,176
I understand that you're angry.

1027
01:00:28,344 --> 01:00:29,475
(Breathes heavily)

1028
01:00:29,510 --> 01:00:30,751
But...

1029
01:00:33,349 --> 01:00:37,857
You don't have to be angry
at the whole world.

1030
01:00:41,258 --> 01:00:43,830
You can just be angry at me.

1031
01:00:43,865 --> 01:00:45,106
(Aggressively)
Okay, you know what?

1032
01:00:45,130 --> 01:00:47,361
You can't throw me away
like a piece of garbage,

1033
01:00:47,396 --> 01:00:50,804
and then suddenly
just want to be my dad
eight years later.

1034
01:00:50,839 --> 01:00:53,741
You left me for your boyfriend.

1035
01:00:53,776 --> 01:00:55,743
(Sighs)
It's that simple.

1036
01:00:55,778 --> 01:00:57,349
And if you've been
telling yourself
anything different,

1037
01:00:57,373 --> 01:00:58,812
then you're lying to yourself.

1038
01:01:03,082 --> 01:01:04,281
But you know what? I'm glad.

1039
01:01:04,317 --> 01:01:07,348
I'm glad,
because you taught me
something very important.

1040
01:01:08,087 --> 01:01:10,857
People are assholes.

1041
01:01:11,926 --> 01:01:13,420
Most people learn that
way too late.

1042
01:01:14,555 --> 01:01:16,896
You... you taught me that
when I was eight.

1043
01:01:19,362 --> 01:01:20,735
Thank you for that.

1044
01:01:31,176 --> 01:01:32,274
You know, you could've...

1045
01:01:33,508 --> 01:01:35,376
What?

1046
01:01:35,411 --> 01:01:37,051
Ellie: You could've been
sending us money.

1047
01:01:38,986 --> 01:01:40,920
If you had
all that money saved up,

1048
01:01:40,955 --> 01:01:42,196
and wanted to be a part
of my life so bad,

1049
01:01:42,220 --> 01:01:43,956
you could've been
sending money to mom.

1050
01:01:43,991 --> 01:01:44,957
I did.

1051
01:01:44,992 --> 01:01:46,992
Ellie: Yeah, I mean more
than just child support.

1052
01:01:57,972 --> 01:01:59,004
I did.

1053
01:02:00,942 --> 01:02:04,405
When I left your mom,
she did not want me
around you.

1054
01:02:05,309 --> 01:02:06,913
I hoped

1055
01:02:06,948 --> 01:02:09,883
that she would change her mind
eventually, but she...

1056
01:02:09,918 --> 01:02:11,511
You could have
just fucking called me.

1057
01:02:13,053 --> 01:02:14,151
All this time, you...

1058
01:02:15,451 --> 01:02:17,187
You could have been
a part of my life.

1059
01:02:19,059 --> 01:02:20,157
Ellie.

1060
01:02:22,029 --> 01:02:23,094
Look at me.

1061
01:02:29,267 --> 01:02:31,839
Who would want me
to be a part of their life?

1062
01:02:43,985 --> 01:02:45,083
I'm hungry.

1063
01:02:47,153 --> 01:02:49,252
There's some stuff
for sandwiches in the fridge.

1064
01:02:54,391 --> 01:02:56,226
I'll make you one,
but it's going to be small.

1065
01:03:00,562 --> 01:03:02,265
And I'm only using Turkey,

1066
01:03:03,103 --> 01:03:04,267
and no mayonnaise.

1067
01:03:09,637 --> 01:03:11,340
What?
Nothing.

1068
01:03:12,607 --> 01:03:14,508
You're an amazing person, Ellie.

1069
01:03:14,543 --> 01:03:18,281
I hope you know
what an amazing person
you are.

1070
01:03:18,316 --> 01:03:21,482
I couldn't ask
for a more
incredible daughter.

1071
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,190
I'll print that out for you now.

1072
01:03:33,166 --> 01:03:34,198
(Bird wings flap)

1073
01:03:41,339 --> 01:03:42,910
(Keyboard clacking)

1074
01:03:46,674 --> 01:03:47,948
(Grating)

1075
01:03:50,282 --> 01:03:51,282
(Lighter clicks)

1076
01:03:52,086 --> 01:03:54,086
(Charlie breathes heavily)

1077
01:04:13,107 --> 01:04:14,238
(Lighter clicks)

1078
01:04:29,189 --> 01:04:30,551
(Snores softly)

1079
01:04:30,586 --> 01:04:31,586
(Pills rattle)

1080
01:04:48,274 --> 01:04:49,669
(Door creaks)

1081
01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:16,498
(Knock at door)

1082
01:05:20,735 --> 01:05:22,471
(Knock at door)
Ellie: Yeah?

1083
01:05:22,506 --> 01:05:24,209
Thomas: Uh... hello?

1084
01:05:27,181 --> 01:05:28,510
(Knocks) Hi.

1085
01:05:30,283 --> 01:05:31,283
Ellie: Come on.

1086
01:05:32,549 --> 01:05:33,680
Is he...

1087
01:05:33,715 --> 01:05:34,814
Is he okay?
I don't know.

1088
01:05:34,850 --> 01:05:37,288
I ground up some Ambien
and I put it in his sandwich.

1089
01:05:37,323 --> 01:05:38,388
What?

1090
01:05:38,423 --> 01:05:40,093
I only gave him a couple.
He's fine.

1091
01:05:40,128 --> 01:05:41,270
I can take, like,
three at a time.

1092
01:05:41,294 --> 01:05:42,469
Thomas: Where
did you get Ambien?

1093
01:05:42,493 --> 01:05:43,624
I had sex with a pharmacist.

1094
01:05:45,628 --> 01:05:47,430
I'm kidding. Gross.

1095
01:05:47,465 --> 01:05:49,168
My mom pops them like tic tacs.

1096
01:05:49,203 --> 01:05:51,071
I don't know if he should
be taking Ambien.

1097
01:05:53,537 --> 01:05:56,076
Does this make you nervous?
'Cause it's just pot.

1098
01:05:56,111 --> 01:05:57,803
It's not like
I'm smoking meth or anything.

1099
01:05:57,838 --> 01:05:59,706
I know. I...
I know what pot is, okay?

1100
01:05:59,741 --> 01:06:01,675
No. You only think
you know what pot is

1101
01:06:01,710 --> 01:06:03,820
because your parents told you
a bunch of lies about it.

1102
01:06:03,844 --> 01:06:05,481
Don't. I know what drugs are.

1103
01:06:05,516 --> 01:06:08,385
I've smoked pot before.
Ooh. Oh, I'm so impressed.

1104
01:06:08,420 --> 01:06:10,189
I wasn't trying to impress you.

1105
01:06:10,224 --> 01:06:12,488
You've not smoked pot before.
Yes, I have. It...

1106
01:06:14,492 --> 01:06:15,623
It was kind of a problem.

1107
01:06:16,791 --> 01:06:18,197
That is the stupidest
fucking thing

1108
01:06:18,232 --> 01:06:19,064
I've ever heard
in my entire life.

1109
01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:21,728
I was smoking every day.
I had a problem.

1110
01:06:21,763 --> 01:06:24,830
You were a stoner.
You had a hobby.

1111
01:06:24,865 --> 01:06:26,810
All right, I'm gonna go.
Just tell him I was here
and I'll...

1112
01:06:26,834 --> 01:06:29,252
If you leave, I'll feed him
the rest of the pills
I have in the bottle.

1113
01:06:29,276 --> 01:06:30,836
What?
Yeah.

1114
01:06:30,871 --> 01:06:33,608
There's, like, 20,
30 more in here.

1115
01:06:34,545 --> 01:06:35,808
I'll crush them up,

1116
01:06:35,843 --> 01:06:37,843
I'll put them in some water,
(Puts bottle down)

1117
01:06:37,878 --> 01:06:39,251
And I'll pour it
down his throat.

1118
01:06:40,188 --> 01:06:41,330
You wouldn't actually do that,

1119
01:06:41,354 --> 01:06:42,485
would you?
Sit down.

1120
01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:51,000
So, why do you keep
coming back here?

1121
01:06:52,893 --> 01:06:54,134
He needs help.

1122
01:06:55,269 --> 01:06:56,312
He needs god in his life
right now.

1123
01:06:56,336 --> 01:06:57,401
That's a stupid reason.

1124
01:06:58,635 --> 01:07:00,800
Do you think he wants
to have sex with you?

1125
01:07:00,835 --> 01:07:03,209
That is so gross,
oh, my god. Take a hit.

1126
01:07:03,244 --> 01:07:04,617
I don't want...
If you don't take a hit,

1127
01:07:04,641 --> 01:07:05,941
I'm gonna call the police

1128
01:07:05,976 --> 01:07:08,376
and I'm gonna tell them
that you tried to rape me.
Take a hit.

1129
01:07:10,581 --> 01:07:11,811
I don't understand you at all.

1130
01:07:12,451 --> 01:07:13,451
Oh, my god.

1131
01:07:14,783 --> 01:07:16,288
Is there a carb on this?

1132
01:07:16,323 --> 01:07:17,718
Ooh, I'm impressed.

1133
01:07:17,753 --> 01:07:19,456
I wasn't trying to impress you.

1134
01:07:19,491 --> 01:07:20,523
There isn't a carb.

1135
01:07:24,694 --> 01:07:25,858
(Sighs)

1136
01:07:30,370 --> 01:07:31,534
(Camera clicks)
(Coughs)

1137
01:07:32,537 --> 01:07:33,636
Calm down.

1138
01:07:33,672 --> 01:07:35,351
(Coughing) What are you
gonna do with that picture?

1139
01:07:35,375 --> 01:07:36,704
I'm gonna masturbate to it.

1140
01:07:36,739 --> 01:07:37,848
Is that what you want me to say?

1141
01:07:37,872 --> 01:07:39,245
You're a pervert.
Take another hit.

1142
01:07:41,249 --> 01:07:43,348
Look, I'm just fucking
with you, all right?

1143
01:07:43,383 --> 01:07:44,811
I'm not gonna kill anyone,

1144
01:07:44,846 --> 01:07:47,847
I'm not gonna tell anyone
that you tried to rape me.

1145
01:07:47,882 --> 01:07:49,464
You're not going to give him
any more Ambien?

1146
01:07:49,488 --> 01:07:50,751
Ellie: No.
(Pills rattle)

1147
01:07:50,786 --> 01:07:52,489
(Zips bag)

1148
01:07:52,524 --> 01:07:54,194
Why do you
keep coming back here?

1149
01:07:56,594 --> 01:07:58,330
I don't know.

1150
01:07:58,365 --> 01:07:59,870
Seriously, if you hate him
so much, then why...

1151
01:07:59,894 --> 01:08:01,432
I'm done answering
questions now.

1152
01:08:07,704 --> 01:08:08,802
Can I take another hit?

1153
01:08:10,608 --> 01:08:11,838
It goes against your religion,

1154
01:08:13,314 --> 01:08:14,554
and that makes you a hypocrite.

1155
01:08:16,482 --> 01:08:17,482
Go ahead.

1156
01:08:22,917 --> 01:08:24,191
(Inhales)

1157
01:08:26,459 --> 01:08:28,492
(Camera clicks)

1158
01:08:28,527 --> 01:08:29,735
I really wish
that you wouldn't do that.

1159
01:08:29,759 --> 01:08:31,363
Yeah, I know.
I heard you the first time.

1160
01:08:32,564 --> 01:08:33,604
Do you find me attractive?

1161
01:08:34,401 --> 01:08:35,598
(Hesitates)

1162
01:08:35,633 --> 01:08:37,534
Because I'm not attracted
to you at all,

1163
01:08:38,306 --> 01:08:40,240
just to let you know.

1164
01:08:40,275 --> 01:08:41,450
I'm not trying to be mean
or anything.

1165
01:08:41,474 --> 01:08:43,194
I just don't think
you're very good-looking,

1166
01:08:43,740 --> 01:08:44,772
or interesting.

1167
01:08:45,511 --> 01:08:46,511
Or intelligent.

1168
01:08:46,809 --> 01:08:47,874
(Scoffs)

1169
01:08:48,943 --> 01:08:50,382
Oh, my god, grow up.

1170
01:08:50,417 --> 01:08:51,724
Maybe someone else
finds you attractive.

1171
01:08:51,748 --> 01:08:52,714
Maybe my dad
finds you attractive.

1172
01:08:52,749 --> 01:08:54,815
I really wish you...
You know, it is so easy

1173
01:08:54,850 --> 01:08:55,890
to make you uncomfortable.

1174
01:08:55,917 --> 01:08:57,554
It's honestly...
It's a little sad.

1175
01:08:58,458 --> 01:08:59,458
You can cash that out.

1176
01:09:13,539 --> 01:09:16,441
(Scoffs) If my parents knew
I was getting high,

1177
01:09:16,476 --> 01:09:17,882
getting high while out
witnessing for the church...

1178
01:09:17,906 --> 01:09:18,906
You're not from new life.

1179
01:09:20,711 --> 01:09:21,777
What?

1180
01:09:21,812 --> 01:09:24,614
There's a kid in the grade
below me who goes there.

1181
01:09:24,649 --> 01:09:25,758
He told me
that they stopped doing

1182
01:09:25,782 --> 01:09:27,617
door-to-door stuff last year

1183
01:09:27,652 --> 01:09:29,850
when some woman
was out preaching
or whatever,

1184
01:09:29,885 --> 01:09:31,984
and a guy answered the door
with no clothes on.

1185
01:09:33,427 --> 01:09:35,427
I gotta go.
Who are you, really?

1186
01:09:36,958 --> 01:09:38,430
Come on, just tell me!

1187
01:09:39,664 --> 01:09:41,477
Thomas: Why do you care?
Because I think we have

1188
01:09:41,501 --> 01:09:42,698
a blossoming friendship.

1189
01:09:44,405 --> 01:09:45,569
You're just messing with me.

1190
01:09:46,968 --> 01:09:48,275
Ellie: No, I'm not.

1191
01:09:49,476 --> 01:09:50,756
You're not going to tell anyone?

1192
01:09:52,347 --> 01:09:53,347
Who am I gonna tell?

1193
01:10:01,620 --> 01:10:02,685
I was on a mission.

1194
01:10:06,394 --> 01:10:08,394
With a group from my church,
back in Waterloo,

1195
01:10:09,628 --> 01:10:10,891
my hometown in Iowa.

1196
01:10:12,367 --> 01:10:13,894
When my dad
caught me smoking pot,

1197
01:10:13,929 --> 01:10:16,600
he thought a mission
would be a good idea.

1198
01:10:16,635 --> 01:10:19,735
I mean, the truth is,
he's just embarrassed by me

1199
01:10:19,770 --> 01:10:21,968
and wanted me gone for a while.

1200
01:10:22,839 --> 01:10:24,971
Anyway, I just left.

1201
01:10:28,416 --> 01:10:29,514
I couldn't do it anymore.

1202
01:10:31,551 --> 01:10:32,551
Why?

1203
01:10:33,685 --> 01:10:34,717
The mission leader,

1204
01:10:36,523 --> 01:10:37,489
this guy, Jerry,

1205
01:10:37,524 --> 01:10:39,095
all he had us doing
was standing on corners

1206
01:10:39,119 --> 01:10:41,053
and handing out pamphlets.

1207
01:10:41,088 --> 01:10:42,527
The end of each day,
he'd be like,

1208
01:10:42,562 --> 01:10:44,282
"look how many people
we're helping," but...

1209
01:10:44,927 --> 01:10:45,992
I tried to talk to him

1210
01:10:46,027 --> 01:10:47,405
about different ways
we can minister.

1211
01:10:47,429 --> 01:10:50,733
I mean, different ways
that we could actually
help people. But...

1212
01:10:52,033 --> 01:10:54,506
You could just tell
that he didn't need to earn

1213
01:10:54,541 --> 01:10:55,903
or prove his faith at all.

1214
01:10:59,040 --> 01:11:02,514
After a while,
I was just, like,
"am I really helping?"

1215
01:11:03,748 --> 01:11:05,583
No. You were not.

1216
01:11:07,147 --> 01:11:08,817
Yeah, I started to feel
that way, too.

1217
01:11:10,854 --> 01:11:11,753
I don't feel that way,

1218
01:11:11,789 --> 01:11:14,053
I know that you weren't
helping people.

1219
01:11:14,088 --> 01:11:15,461
It doesn't help people
to tell them

1220
01:11:15,496 --> 01:11:16,704
that they should believe in god.

1221
01:11:16,728 --> 01:11:17,808
Why would that help people?

1222
01:11:18,796 --> 01:11:20,565
Thomas: I just thought...

1223
01:11:20,600 --> 01:11:22,534
I see all my family, my friends,

1224
01:11:24,065 --> 01:11:25,471
they're all just so happy.

1225
01:11:30,511 --> 01:11:31,708
I just want to be like that.

1226
01:11:33,943 --> 01:11:35,008
So, why'd you leave, then?

1227
01:11:36,715 --> 01:11:39,078
I was worried
I was gonna get arrested.

1228
01:11:40,015 --> 01:11:41,015
For smoking pot?

1229
01:11:42,721 --> 01:11:43,921
For stealing from the mission.

1230
01:11:51,961 --> 01:11:54,896
One day,
I ditched the pamphlets.

1231
01:11:54,931 --> 01:11:55,830
I went door-to-door.

1232
01:11:55,866 --> 01:11:57,833
I started actually
engaging with people.

1233
01:11:57,868 --> 01:12:00,737
Finally. I mean, it felt
like I was doing something,

1234
01:12:00,772 --> 01:12:01,837
helping someone.

1235
01:12:03,610 --> 01:12:05,544
(Scoffs)

1236
01:12:05,579 --> 01:12:08,514
And that night, I went back
to the mission meeting,

1237
01:12:08,549 --> 01:12:09,988
and I told everyone
what I did that day,

1238
01:12:10,012 --> 01:12:11,924
and Jerry was like,
"that's not
what we do, buddy."

1239
01:12:11,948 --> 01:12:13,248
And I was like,
"well, why not?"

1240
01:12:13,283 --> 01:12:15,643
And we got
in this huge argument
in front of everyone, and...

1241
01:12:16,788 --> 01:12:17,820
(Sighs)

1242
01:12:20,462 --> 01:12:23,628
And that night,
I decided to leave.

1243
01:12:23,663 --> 01:12:25,696
And when everyone
was asleep, I...

1244
01:12:25,731 --> 01:12:26,829
I took the petty cash.

1245
01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:29,865
Ellie: How much?

1246
01:12:33,508 --> 01:12:35,541
$2,436.

1247
01:12:37,743 --> 01:12:39,072
Oh.

1248
01:12:39,107 --> 01:12:40,480
Thomas: Yeah. "Oh."

1249
01:12:42,517 --> 01:12:43,517
I got on a bus.

1250
01:12:44,816 --> 01:12:46,684
Jerry and my parents
were calling me

1251
01:12:46,719 --> 01:12:47,949
over and over again.

1252
01:12:49,722 --> 01:12:51,084
I just tossed my phone.

1253
01:12:53,759 --> 01:12:56,529
After a while, I wound up here.

1254
01:13:00,667 --> 01:13:02,601
Thomas: I thought
I could use this money

1255
01:13:02,636 --> 01:13:03,767
for my own mission.

1256
01:13:05,573 --> 01:13:08,134
You know, see my faith save
just one person.

1257
01:13:09,874 --> 01:13:11,907
But now I'm almost
out of money. I just...

1258
01:13:13,273 --> 01:13:15,548
I can't go home, and...

1259
01:13:15,583 --> 01:13:17,110
My parents probably
wanna disown me.

1260
01:13:22,953 --> 01:13:24,233
(Sighs) I don't know what to do.

1261
01:13:35,064 --> 01:13:36,668
You're more interesting
to me now.

1262
01:13:39,706 --> 01:13:40,738
Thanks.

1263
01:13:53,555 --> 01:13:54,995
So, that's why
you wanna save my dad.

1264
01:13:59,825 --> 01:14:00,825
(Door opens)

1265
01:14:05,963 --> 01:14:06,963
(Camera clicks)

1266
01:14:09,604 --> 01:14:10,604
(Main door lock clicks)

1267
01:14:15,940 --> 01:14:17,104
Mom?

1268
01:14:17,139 --> 01:14:18,677
Don't freak out.
Shut up.

1269
01:14:21,143 --> 01:14:22,175
Liz: You again?

1270
01:14:23,046 --> 01:14:24,210
Charlie?

1271
01:14:24,751 --> 01:14:25,751
Charlie?

1272
01:14:27,886 --> 01:14:28,951
Charlie?

1273
01:14:30,251 --> 01:14:31,690
(Softly) Charlie.

1274
01:14:38,765 --> 01:14:39,995
(Charlie coughs)

1275
01:14:44,232 --> 01:14:45,264
(Lighter clicks)

1276
01:14:46,366 --> 01:14:47,640
Not with the oxygen tank.

1277
01:14:49,875 --> 01:14:50,875
I'll stand by the window.

1278
01:14:52,647 --> 01:14:53,647
(Liz sighs)

1279
01:14:57,883 --> 01:15:00,983
Ellie told you
she was coming over?

1280
01:15:01,018 --> 01:15:02,721
Liz: No. I did.

1281
01:15:02,756 --> 01:15:04,052
And just in time, looks like.

1282
01:15:05,220 --> 01:15:06,989
You having any more pain?

1283
01:15:07,024 --> 01:15:08,694
(Grunts softly)

1284
01:15:08,729 --> 01:15:10,190
(Sighs) How easy is it to move?

1285
01:15:11,061 --> 01:15:12,258
Not very.

1286
01:15:12,293 --> 01:15:14,832
Any confusion?
Have you felt disoriented,

1287
01:15:14,867 --> 01:15:16,273
forgotten where you are
or what you're doing?

1288
01:15:16,297 --> 01:15:19,903
Am I okay?
No, you're not okay.

1289
01:15:19,938 --> 01:15:21,377
But as far
as the sleeping pills,
you're fine.

1290
01:15:21,401 --> 01:15:22,774
I don't think she gave you much.

1291
01:15:22,809 --> 01:15:23,969
Yeah, that's what I told you.

1292
01:15:26,142 --> 01:15:27,680
You know, I was a very angry,

1293
01:15:27,715 --> 01:15:28,892
very stupid little girl
once, too,

1294
01:15:28,916 --> 01:15:30,628
but if you would've given him
any more pills than that...

1295
01:15:30,652 --> 01:15:32,058
Yeah, but I didn't give him
more pills than that,

1296
01:15:32,082 --> 01:15:33,752
I gave him two pills.
Ellie?

1297
01:15:34,953 --> 01:15:36,233
How much money did he offer you?

1298
01:15:42,191 --> 01:15:44,191
All of it?
How do you know
about the money?

1299
01:15:44,996 --> 01:15:47,161
You think I'm an idiot?

1300
01:15:47,196 --> 01:15:49,075
You think I would believe
that you were coming
over here

1301
01:15:49,099 --> 01:15:50,419
out of the kindness
of your heart?

1302
01:15:51,431 --> 01:15:54,806
(Laughs) Charlie
doesn't have any money.

1303
01:15:54,841 --> 01:15:56,808
(Liz continues laughing)

1304
01:15:56,843 --> 01:15:58,678
She doesn't know?
Charlie: Mary.

1305
01:15:58,713 --> 01:15:59,756
Where do you think all the money

1306
01:15:59,780 --> 01:16:01,060
from his teaching
has been going?

1307
01:16:01,980 --> 01:16:03,144
The account for Ellie?

1308
01:16:03,179 --> 01:16:05,212
By now, it has to be huge.

1309
01:16:05,247 --> 01:16:06,884
Over $100,000 at least, right?

1310
01:16:08,789 --> 01:16:09,986
(Wheezes softly)

1311
01:16:12,452 --> 01:16:13,858
That's not true, is it?

1312
01:16:17,798 --> 01:16:18,929
Charlie.

1313
01:16:20,295 --> 01:16:22,295
We could have gotten you
anything you needed.

1314
01:16:23,771 --> 01:16:25,199
Special beds,
physical therapists,

1315
01:16:25,234 --> 01:16:27,267
fucking health insurance!

1316
01:16:29,810 --> 01:16:31,216
Last winter,
when my pick-up broke down

1317
01:16:31,240 --> 01:16:32,448
and I had to walk
through the snow

1318
01:16:32,472 --> 01:16:33,812
to get your groceries for you...

1319
01:16:33,847 --> 01:16:35,242
I offered to get
your truck fixed.

1320
01:16:35,277 --> 01:16:38,113
Yeah, and I refused
because I thought
you had $700

1321
01:16:38,148 --> 01:16:40,346
in your bank account.
The money is for Ellie.

1322
01:16:41,756 --> 01:16:43,756
It's always been for Ellie.

1323
01:16:43,791 --> 01:16:46,154
If there was ever
any kind of emergency,

1324
01:16:46,189 --> 01:16:48,057
I would have given you
the money.
Would you?

1325
01:16:52,030 --> 01:16:53,062
Wait.

1326
01:16:53,097 --> 01:16:55,801
(Panting)

1327
01:16:56,969 --> 01:16:58,298
Wait.
(Door shuts)

1328
01:17:01,402 --> 01:17:02,918
Mom, you're not getting
any of my money.

1329
01:17:02,942 --> 01:17:03,942
Mary: Oh, shut up, Ellie.

1330
01:17:05,780 --> 01:17:07,373
Leave, right now.

1331
01:17:10,785 --> 01:17:12,118
Wait.

1332
01:17:12,153 --> 01:17:15,216
Ellie, I know
you didn't mean to hurt me.
I know you didn't...

1333
01:17:15,251 --> 01:17:16,866
Okay, you know what?
Listen to me. Listen.

1334
01:17:16,890 --> 01:17:18,725
I don't care about you!

1335
01:17:18,760 --> 01:17:20,287
Get that through
your fucking skull.

1336
01:17:20,322 --> 01:17:22,729
(Crying) Ellie, please.
Just fucking die already!

1337
01:17:23,259 --> 01:17:24,698
Enough!

1338
01:17:28,132 --> 01:17:29,395
Ellie, your... your essay.

1339
01:17:33,170 --> 01:17:34,170
(Opens drawer)

1340
01:17:37,812 --> 01:17:40,274
So... it's...

1341
01:17:43,246 --> 01:17:44,751
It's a really good essay!

1342
01:17:48,119 --> 01:17:49,987
(Sobs, wheezes)

1343
01:17:51,089 --> 01:17:52,418
(Coughs)

1344
01:18:12,374 --> 01:18:14,407
(Wheezes)
Jesus, Charlie.

1345
01:18:22,351 --> 01:18:23,416
Do you have anything?

1346
01:18:27,829 --> 01:18:29,257
It's above the sink,

1347
01:18:29,292 --> 01:18:31,226
the kitchen counter on the left.

1348
01:18:33,296 --> 01:18:35,230
The other one.
(Sniffles) Yup.

1349
01:18:37,300 --> 01:18:39,465
(Coughing, wheezing)

1350
01:18:39,500 --> 01:18:41,368
Mary: Our deal was

1351
01:18:41,403 --> 01:18:43,684
to wait until she's out
of the house
to give her the money.

1352
01:18:44,274 --> 01:18:45,911
What's the difference?

1353
01:18:45,946 --> 01:18:49,915
The difference is she's 17
and still in high school.

1354
01:18:49,950 --> 01:18:52,852
She's gonna spend it
on face tattoos
or ponies, or something.

1355
01:18:52,887 --> 01:18:55,151
I think that she's
a lot smarter than that.

1356
01:18:55,186 --> 01:18:56,383
(Mary scoffs)

1357
01:18:58,387 --> 01:18:59,387
So...

1358
01:19:02,490 --> 01:19:03,490
How's it been?

1359
01:19:04,932 --> 01:19:06,800
Getting to know her.
(Chuckles softly)

1360
01:19:07,902 --> 01:19:10,232
She's amazing.
(Mary chuckles)

1361
01:19:10,267 --> 01:19:12,267
(Sighs) You still do that.

1362
01:19:14,106 --> 01:19:15,106
What?

1363
01:19:16,042 --> 01:19:17,470
That positivity.

1364
01:19:19,210 --> 01:19:20,210
It's so annoying.

1365
01:19:21,245 --> 01:19:22,442
You're a complete cynic.

1366
01:19:24,050 --> 01:19:25,918
Just trying to balance us out.

1367
01:19:25,953 --> 01:19:27,953
Yeah. I guess I do miss that.

1368
01:19:29,154 --> 01:19:30,186
That one thing.

1369
01:19:31,618 --> 01:19:32,826
Just that?

1370
01:19:34,654 --> 01:19:36,929
That, and the cooking.

1371
01:19:36,964 --> 01:19:39,932
Last month, tried to make
a stir-fry thing.
Charlie: Yeah?

1372
01:19:39,967 --> 01:19:41,637
Almost set the entire
apartment building on fire.

1373
01:19:41,661 --> 01:19:43,199
(Laughs)

1374
01:19:43,234 --> 01:19:45,102
(Coughing)

1375
01:19:46,171 --> 01:19:48,171
(Gasps, coughs)

1376
01:19:48,536 --> 01:19:50,008
(Gasping)

1377
01:19:50,043 --> 01:19:53,979
(Continues coughing)

1378
01:19:54,949 --> 01:19:56,146
(Breathes deeply)

1379
01:20:02,990 --> 01:20:04,710
I never knew
you were doing this
to yourself.

1380
01:20:06,224 --> 01:20:08,323
Well, you never asked
how I was doing.

1381
01:20:09,656 --> 01:20:11,425
You never asked
how I was doing either.

1382
01:20:12,659 --> 01:20:14,626
Every month, it's just,

1383
01:20:14,661 --> 01:20:17,497
"how much money do you need?"
Or, "how's Ellie?"

1384
01:20:17,532 --> 01:20:20,566
You didn't tell me
that she's flunking
out of school.

1385
01:20:20,601 --> 01:20:22,205
I guess I just didn't need
the lecture

1386
01:20:22,240 --> 01:20:23,943
about my involvement
in her education.

1387
01:20:23,978 --> 01:20:26,440
That is not what I...
(Exhales)

1388
01:20:29,544 --> 01:20:30,544
(Exhales)

1389
01:20:32,481 --> 01:20:34,085
How're you doing, Mary?
(Scoffs)

1390
01:20:39,620 --> 01:20:43,028
I know I'm not supposed
to be around her.

1391
01:20:43,063 --> 01:20:46,625
You could probably call
the police if you wanted to.
Oh, Christ.

1392
01:20:46,660 --> 01:20:48,165
You really think I'd do that?

1393
01:20:48,200 --> 01:20:50,970
You fought me pretty hard
for full custody.

1394
01:20:51,005 --> 01:20:53,236
And I don't blame you
for keeping her from me.

1395
01:20:53,271 --> 01:20:57,405
Charlie, need I remind you
that you left us.

1396
01:20:58,177 --> 01:20:59,308
I know.

1397
01:20:59,343 --> 01:21:01,244
And I was left raising our kid

1398
01:21:01,279 --> 01:21:04,577
and explaining to people
that my husband
left me for a man.

1399
01:21:04,612 --> 01:21:07,151
But you didn't
have to cut me out
of her life like that.

1400
01:21:07,186 --> 01:21:08,319
Oh, please.

1401
01:21:08,354 --> 01:21:10,495
You were more than happy
to forget about us for a while.

1402
01:21:10,519 --> 01:21:11,519
You know that.

1403
01:21:13,456 --> 01:21:15,423
I know I made a lot of mistakes.

1404
01:21:17,658 --> 01:21:20,593
But I just wanted
to see her, Mary.

1405
01:21:20,628 --> 01:21:23,101
I've always just...
Just wanted to see her.

1406
01:21:24,500 --> 01:21:25,565
It's all about you.

1407
01:21:27,404 --> 01:21:29,140
Even now, huh?

1408
01:21:29,769 --> 01:21:31,538
(Charlie sighs heavily)

1409
01:21:31,573 --> 01:21:33,243
Now you know why
I kept you from her.

1410
01:21:34,312 --> 01:21:35,312
What?

1411
01:21:37,051 --> 01:21:39,986
She's awful. Isn't she?

1412
01:21:40,021 --> 01:21:43,319
She's a terror.
And you think it's my fault.

1413
01:21:43,354 --> 01:21:48,159
Wait, is that why
you kept her from me
all this time?

1414
01:21:48,194 --> 01:21:52,361
Because you thought
that I would think
that you're a bad mother?

1415
01:21:53,463 --> 01:21:54,463
At first.

1416
01:21:55,729 --> 01:21:58,730
But later, when she was 15, 16,

1417
01:22:01,075 --> 01:22:02,503
I was worried
she would hurt you.

1418
01:22:03,143 --> 01:22:04,143
Hurt me?

1419
01:22:05,376 --> 01:22:06,474
It's ridiculous.

1420
01:22:06,509 --> 01:22:08,311
I don't take any pleasure
in admitting it.

1421
01:22:08,346 --> 01:22:10,742
I'm her mother,
for Christ's sake.

1422
01:22:10,777 --> 01:22:13,580
You know, I spent
way too much time
telling myself,

1423
01:22:13,615 --> 01:22:16,022
you know,
"she's just rebellious,

1424
01:22:16,057 --> 01:22:17,188
"she's just difficult."

1425
01:22:19,555 --> 01:22:22,193
Charlie, she's evil.

1426
01:22:23,559 --> 01:22:24,723
She's not evil.

1427
01:22:31,468 --> 01:22:32,500
What are you doing?

1428
01:22:38,442 --> 01:22:40,046
(Mary typing)
You think it's just me?

1429
01:22:51,752 --> 01:22:55,094
"There'll be
a grease fire in hell
when he starts to burn."

1430
01:23:02,532 --> 01:23:03,532
Don't feel bad.

1431
01:23:05,106 --> 01:23:07,238
I've made
quite a few appearances
on that thing.

1432
01:23:10,870 --> 01:23:12,243
She's a strong writer.

1433
01:23:14,412 --> 01:23:16,181
(Raises voice)
That's your response?

1434
01:23:16,216 --> 01:23:17,281
This isn't evil.

1435
01:23:17,778 --> 01:23:19,382
This is honesty.

1436
01:23:19,417 --> 01:23:21,813
Do you know how much bullshit
I've read in my life?

1437
01:23:21,848 --> 01:23:24,684
My god, I don't
understand you, Charlie!

1438
01:23:24,719 --> 01:23:26,719
Every time I call
and ask you how she's doing,

1439
01:23:26,754 --> 01:23:28,094
you say, "she's fine."

1440
01:23:28,756 --> 01:23:30,327
If she's so evil, then...

1441
01:23:30,362 --> 01:23:31,867
(Mary shouting) What was I
supposed to tell you?

1442
01:23:31,891 --> 01:23:34,562
Huh? That she was off
making her classmates cry

1443
01:23:34,597 --> 01:23:36,135
or slashing her teachers' tires?

1444
01:23:36,170 --> 01:23:37,444
You didn't want
to hear that stuff!

1445
01:23:37,468 --> 01:23:38,567
I could have helped her!

1446
01:23:38,603 --> 01:23:42,141
She doesn't want your help!
She doesn't want anyone!

1447
01:23:42,176 --> 01:23:44,143
You think I didn't want her
to have a dad?

1448
01:23:44,838 --> 01:23:46,508
She adored you!

1449
01:23:46,543 --> 01:23:48,389
The only reason
you married me
in the first place

1450
01:23:48,413 --> 01:23:50,215
was to have a kid, I know that!

1451
01:23:50,250 --> 01:23:51,414
Mary, please!

1452
01:23:52,153 --> 01:23:53,218
(Mary sighs)

1453
01:23:57,290 --> 01:24:00,489
Well, this brings back
memories, doesn't it?

1454
01:24:02,526 --> 01:24:03,624
(Sighs)

1455
01:24:04,660 --> 01:24:06,198
(Wheezes, coughs)

1456
01:24:19,675 --> 01:24:20,675
Listen.

1457
01:24:23,514 --> 01:24:25,448
I never got to say
that I was sorry.

1458
01:24:27,353 --> 01:24:29,716
What would you have
to be sorry about?

1459
01:24:29,751 --> 01:24:30,816
That's not what I mean.

1460
01:24:32,490 --> 01:24:33,490
I mean...

1461
01:24:38,265 --> 01:24:40,562
About your friend.

1462
01:24:41,928 --> 01:24:43,136
Oh.

1463
01:24:46,669 --> 01:24:47,734
His name was Alan.

1464
01:24:47,769 --> 01:24:49,439
I know
his fucking name, Charlie.

1465
01:24:54,215 --> 01:24:55,215
I saw him once,

1466
01:24:56,811 --> 01:24:58,250
in the Walmart parking lot.

1467
01:24:59,220 --> 01:25:00,086
He wasn't looking too good,

1468
01:25:00,121 --> 01:25:02,155
and I don't think
it was long before he...

1469
01:25:04,390 --> 01:25:06,819
Anyway, I had
all these things that I...

1470
01:25:06,854 --> 01:25:07,854
I wanted to say to him,

1471
01:25:07,889 --> 01:25:09,756
you know, hurl at him
like bricks. (Sniffles)

1472
01:25:10,528 --> 01:25:12,495
But I...

1473
01:25:12,530 --> 01:25:14,167
I asked if he wanted some help.

1474
01:25:16,633 --> 01:25:18,633
He let me carry
a couple of bags to his car,

1475
01:25:19,933 --> 01:25:21,240
he said thank you,

1476
01:25:22,837 --> 01:25:23,837
and I left.

1477
01:25:27,677 --> 01:25:29,281
I never even told him who I was.

1478
01:25:32,880 --> 01:25:34,385
(Wheezes softly)

1479
01:25:35,751 --> 01:25:37,355
(Wheezing)

1480
01:25:38,391 --> 01:25:39,423
You're wheezing.

1481
01:25:40,789 --> 01:25:43,526
Yeah, it's gotten worse.

1482
01:25:44,430 --> 01:25:45,561
Should I call someone?

1483
01:25:46,300 --> 01:25:48,333
No. Um...

1484
01:25:53,604 --> 01:25:54,702
You'll let me hear?

1485
01:26:03,614 --> 01:26:04,778
(Grunts)

1486
01:26:19,630 --> 01:26:20,695
(Hoarsely) How do I sound?

1487
01:26:28,639 --> 01:26:30,969
That was the first time
we've all been together

1488
01:26:31,004 --> 01:26:33,774
in almost nine years.
Do you realize that?

1489
01:26:33,809 --> 01:26:34,940
(Chuckles dryly)

1490
01:26:43,555 --> 01:26:45,489
When Ellie was little,

1491
01:26:45,524 --> 01:26:49,262
when we took that trip
to the Oregon coast together,

1492
01:26:50,331 --> 01:26:52,397
Ellie played in the sand, and...

1493
01:26:52,762 --> 01:26:53,860
(Sniffles)

1494
01:26:53,895 --> 01:26:55,763
We laid out on the beach.

1495
01:26:57,096 --> 01:26:58,733
I went swimming in the ocean.

1496
01:27:01,408 --> 01:27:03,903
That was the last time
I ever went
swimming, actually.

1497
01:27:06,974 --> 01:27:09,414
I kept cutting my legs
on the rocks.

1498
01:27:12,980 --> 01:27:14,980
The water was so cold.

1499
01:27:15,015 --> 01:27:16,487
(Ocean waves splashing)

1500
01:27:26,697 --> 01:27:30,501
And you were so mad
that my legs bled

1501
01:27:30,536 --> 01:27:32,800
and stained the seats
in the minivan.

1502
01:27:32,835 --> 01:27:34,068
(Chuckles)

1503
01:27:34,103 --> 01:27:38,707
And you said,
for days after that,
I smelled like seawater.

1504
01:27:38,742 --> 01:27:40,676
(Charlie laughs)
(Sniffles)

1505
01:27:40,711 --> 01:27:42,414
(Wheezes) You remember that?

1506
01:27:42,449 --> 01:27:45,483
(Coughing)

1507
01:27:46,486 --> 01:27:48,046
(Sniffles)

1508
01:27:49,984 --> 01:27:51,324
You sound awful.

1509
01:27:52,822 --> 01:27:55,020
(Sighs) I'm dying, Mary.

1510
01:27:59,092 --> 01:28:00,092
Fuck you.

1511
01:28:02,029 --> 01:28:03,369
I'm sorry.

1512
01:28:04,834 --> 01:28:05,932
Fuck you.

1513
01:28:08,838 --> 01:28:09,969
(Crying) For sure?

1514
01:28:10,840 --> 01:28:13,478
Yeah. For sure.

1515
01:28:13,513 --> 01:28:15,612
(Cries, sighs)

1516
01:28:15,647 --> 01:28:16,844
Charlie: Listen to me.

1517
01:28:19,849 --> 01:28:22,388
I need to make certain
that she's going to be okay.

1518
01:28:23,490 --> 01:28:24,687
We can't give up on her.

1519
01:28:25,525 --> 01:28:27,151
You already gave up on her!

1520
01:28:27,186 --> 01:28:29,120
You gave up on her
when she was eight years old!

1521
01:28:29,155 --> 01:28:32,156
I wish I could have been
a part of her life, Mary,

1522
01:28:32,191 --> 01:28:34,059
a part of both of your lives.

1523
01:28:34,094 --> 01:28:35,094
Go to the hospital.

1524
01:28:36,470 --> 01:28:38,701
You have money,
just go to the hospital!

1525
01:28:39,770 --> 01:28:44,102
We both know that
that money is for Ellie.

1526
01:28:45,105 --> 01:28:49,481
But beyond that,

1527
01:28:49,516 --> 01:28:53,584
I need to know
that she's gonna have
a decent life.

1528
01:28:54,719 --> 01:28:56,917
Where she cares about people

1529
01:28:56,952 --> 01:28:59,051
and other people care about her.

1530
01:29:00,560 --> 01:29:02,560
(Crying) And she's
gonna be okay.

1531
01:29:03,563 --> 01:29:04,529
I need to go.
Mary.

1532
01:29:04,564 --> 01:29:08,093
She doesn't have
anyone else!
I have to go.

1533
01:29:08,128 --> 01:29:10,766
(Crying) I need to know
that I have done

1534
01:29:10,801 --> 01:29:13,604
one thing right with my life!

1535
01:29:17,170 --> 01:29:18,576
We both played our parts.

1536
01:29:20,074 --> 01:29:22,613
I raised her, and you're
giving her the money.

1537
01:29:23,242 --> 01:29:24,549
It's the best we could do.

1538
01:29:26,619 --> 01:29:27,750
(Sighs)

1539
01:29:30,623 --> 01:29:31,623
Do you need anything

1540
01:29:33,054 --> 01:29:34,086
before I leave?

1541
01:29:35,089 --> 01:29:36,429
Water, or something.

1542
01:29:37,663 --> 01:29:39,058
(Coughs)

1543
01:29:44,263 --> 01:29:45,669
(Sighs)

1544
01:29:45,968 --> 01:29:47,165
(Coughs)

1545
01:29:58,585 --> 01:29:59,716
(Phone button beeps)

1546
01:29:59,751 --> 01:30:02,147
(Snoring)
(Thunder rumbles)

1547
01:30:03,788 --> 01:30:05,755
(Rain pouring)

1548
01:30:07,990 --> 01:30:10,529
(Thunder rumbling)

1549
01:30:10,564 --> 01:30:11,959
(Coughs)

1550
01:30:26,008 --> 01:30:27,579
(Water trickling)

1551
01:30:45,863 --> 01:30:47,192
(Knock at door)

1552
01:30:47,227 --> 01:30:48,864
Dan: Gambino's!

1553
01:30:48,899 --> 01:30:50,998
(Charlie coughing) Yeah.

1554
01:30:51,033 --> 01:30:52,033
Dan: Charlie?

1555
01:30:53,233 --> 01:30:54,233
You okay?

1556
01:30:56,038 --> 01:30:57,906
Charlie: Yeah. (Clears throat)

1557
01:30:59,580 --> 01:31:01,107
The money is in the, um...

1558
01:31:02,682 --> 01:31:03,714
Dan: Sure.

1559
01:31:03,749 --> 01:31:04,946
(Mailbox opens)

1560
01:31:07,786 --> 01:31:09,148
Dan: You sure
you're doing okay?

1561
01:31:11,251 --> 01:31:13,251
Yeah. Thanks, Dan.

1562
01:31:13,286 --> 01:31:15,088
Dan: Have a good night, okay?

1563
01:31:15,761 --> 01:31:16,859
(Mailbox closes)

1564
01:31:22,064 --> 01:31:23,998
(Rain pouring heavily)

1565
01:31:40,852 --> 01:31:41,852
(Mumbles)

1566
01:31:54,800 --> 01:31:56,932
(Intense music playing)

1567
01:32:09,111 --> 01:32:11,111
(Breathing heavily)

1568
01:32:16,756 --> 01:32:18,283
(Thunder rumbling)

1569
01:32:25,391 --> 01:32:26,797
(Typing)

1570
01:32:35,368 --> 01:32:37,005
(Whispering)
Fuck these essays.

1571
01:32:38,074 --> 01:32:39,238
Fuck these readings.

1572
01:32:41,814 --> 01:32:45,915
Just write something
fucking honest.
(Banging keyboard)

1573
01:32:49,723 --> 01:32:50,723
(Slams laptop shut)

1574
01:32:51,252 --> 01:32:52,252
(Sighs)

1575
01:32:55,223 --> 01:32:57,355
(Intense music continues)

1576
01:33:39,938 --> 01:33:41,333
(Retches)

1577
01:33:41,368 --> 01:33:42,807
(Spits)

1578
01:33:42,842 --> 01:33:44,743
(Coughs, wheezes)

1579
01:33:45,438 --> 01:33:47,108
(Gasps)

1580
01:33:47,440 --> 01:33:50,309
(Coughing)

1581
01:33:54,315 --> 01:33:56,150
(Continues coughing)

1582
01:33:57,450 --> 01:33:58,823
(Stifles sob)

1583
01:33:59,353 --> 01:34:01,485
(Sobbing)

1584
01:34:01,520 --> 01:34:03,223
(Coughs, sobs)

1585
01:34:08,934 --> 01:34:11,165
(Continues sobbing)

1586
01:34:11,200 --> 01:34:12,705
(Coughs)

1587
01:34:15,776 --> 01:34:16,940
(Knock at door)

1588
01:34:16,975 --> 01:34:18,304
(Gasps) Liz?

1589
01:34:20,176 --> 01:34:22,209
(Knocking continues)

1590
01:34:22,244 --> 01:34:23,375
Thomas: Can I come inside?

1591
01:34:25,148 --> 01:34:26,180
It's not locked.

1592
01:34:28,448 --> 01:34:29,755
Hi.
What's wrong?

1593
01:34:30,417 --> 01:34:31,922
Thank you.
For what?

1594
01:34:31,957 --> 01:34:34,826
Look, I'm not exactly
who I said I was.

1595
01:34:34,861 --> 01:34:36,454
I'm not from new life.

1596
01:34:36,489 --> 01:34:38,060
What? I... I don't...

1597
01:34:38,095 --> 01:34:40,029
I've been in a pretty bad
place recently.

1598
01:34:40,064 --> 01:34:41,426
I... I stole some money,

1599
01:34:41,461 --> 01:34:43,461
and I ran away from home
a few months ago.

1600
01:34:43,496 --> 01:34:46,332
And your daughter,
she took these pictures
of me smoking pot,

1601
01:34:46,367 --> 01:34:48,774
and a recording
or something like that,

1602
01:34:48,809 --> 01:34:50,974
and she found my church
in Waterloo somehow,

1603
01:34:51,009 --> 01:34:52,173
and then she sent it to them,

1604
01:34:52,208 --> 01:34:53,911
and they sent it
to my parents...
Wait.

1605
01:34:53,946 --> 01:34:55,146
And you know what they said?

1606
01:34:56,080 --> 01:34:57,112
"It's just money."

1607
01:34:58,214 --> 01:35:00,115
And they forgive me.

1608
01:35:00,150 --> 01:35:02,920
And they love me,
and they want me
to come home.

1609
01:35:04,517 --> 01:35:06,055
How awful is that?

1610
01:35:07,157 --> 01:35:09,828
Ellie, she...
She did all that?

1611
01:35:09,863 --> 01:35:14,096
I can't tell if she was trying
to help me or hurt me or...

1612
01:35:14,131 --> 01:35:15,438
Do you ever get
that feeling from her?
(Chuckles)

1613
01:35:15,462 --> 01:35:17,099
How did she even... she...

1614
01:35:18,971 --> 01:35:21,840
She found your church,
she tracked down your parents.

1615
01:35:23,173 --> 01:35:24,469
She really did all that?

1616
01:35:24,504 --> 01:35:26,207
Yeah. I mean,
I'm going home tomorrow.

1617
01:35:27,309 --> 01:35:28,946
But, Charlie, before I go...
(Laughs)

1618
01:35:28,981 --> 01:35:30,376
I have to show you this.

1619
01:35:30,411 --> 01:35:32,312
(Breathes uncomfortably)

1620
01:35:32,347 --> 01:35:33,951
What... what's wrong?
(Grunts heavily)

1621
01:35:33,986 --> 01:35:35,216
Wait, are you okay?

1622
01:35:35,251 --> 01:35:37,251
It just hurts.
Charlie,

1623
01:35:37,286 --> 01:35:39,517
I want to help you.
I know I can help you.

1624
01:35:39,552 --> 01:35:41,453
I'm not going to the hospital.

1625
01:35:41,488 --> 01:35:42,993
No, I know.
I'm not gonna make you go.

1626
01:35:43,028 --> 01:35:44,291
But I can help you.

1627
01:35:46,262 --> 01:35:47,877
"Therefore,
brothers and sisters..."
What are you doing?

1628
01:35:47,901 --> 01:35:49,197
"We have an obligation,

1629
01:35:49,232 --> 01:35:51,430
"but it is not to the flesh,
to live according to it.

1630
01:35:51,465 --> 01:35:54,202
"For if you live
according to the flesh,
you will die.

1631
01:35:54,237 --> 01:35:56,567
"But if by the spirit
you put to death

1632
01:35:56,602 --> 01:35:59,174
"the misdeeds of the body,
then you will live."

1633
01:35:59,209 --> 01:36:01,077
I... I don't understand.

1634
01:36:01,112 --> 01:36:04,014
Charlie, when I read this,
I finally got it.

1635
01:36:04,049 --> 01:36:07,380
I finally understood
why god brought me here
to you.

1636
01:36:07,415 --> 01:36:09,547
So I could help you understand
what happened to Alan,

1637
01:36:09,582 --> 01:36:11,087
so it doesn't happen
to you, too.

1638
01:36:14,125 --> 01:36:15,058
How did you get this?

1639
01:36:15,093 --> 01:36:18,490
Charlie, Alan tried
to escape god's will.

1640
01:36:18,525 --> 01:36:20,899
He chose his life with you
over god.

1641
01:36:20,934 --> 01:36:24,496
But this is why
he was so obsessed
with this verse.

1642
01:36:24,531 --> 01:36:26,300
He knew that he was living
in the flesh,

1643
01:36:26,335 --> 01:36:27,568
and not in the spirit.

1644
01:36:27,603 --> 01:36:30,942
He never prayed for salvation,
but it's not too late for you.

1645
01:36:30,977 --> 01:36:32,537
Through the spirit,
you can put to death

1646
01:36:32,572 --> 01:36:34,913
the misdeeds of the body,
and you will live.

1647
01:36:36,510 --> 01:36:39,049
You think Alan died
because he chose
to be with me?

1648
01:36:41,350 --> 01:36:42,987
You think god
turned his back on him

1649
01:36:43,022 --> 01:36:44,222
because he and I were in love?

1650
01:36:48,423 --> 01:36:49,423
Yes.

1651
01:36:54,330 --> 01:36:55,330
(Sighs)

1652
01:36:58,037 --> 01:37:00,334
You know something?
I wasn't always this big.

1653
01:37:01,700 --> 01:37:03,975
Yeah, I know.

1654
01:37:04,010 --> 01:37:06,307
I mean, I wasn't
the best-looking guy
in the room, but...

1655
01:37:08,014 --> 01:37:09,014
Alan loved me.

1656
01:37:12,084 --> 01:37:13,182
He thought I was beautiful.

1657
01:37:17,716 --> 01:37:18,924
Okay.

1658
01:37:21,126 --> 01:37:22,895
Halfway through the semester,

1659
01:37:24,327 --> 01:37:27,966
he started meeting me
during my office hours.

1660
01:37:28,001 --> 01:37:32,168
And we were...
We were crazy
about one another.

1661
01:37:32,203 --> 01:37:34,236
But we waited

1662
01:37:34,271 --> 01:37:37,008
until the class
was over before...

1663
01:37:37,043 --> 01:37:38,076
This isn't, uh...

1664
01:37:38,111 --> 01:37:41,441
It was just after classes
had ended for the year.

1665
01:37:41,476 --> 01:37:43,377
It was perfect
temperature outside.

1666
01:37:44,446 --> 01:37:46,347
We took a walk in the arboretum,

1667
01:37:48,989 --> 01:37:50,021
and we kissed.

1668
01:37:50,518 --> 01:37:52,287
Charlie, stop.

1669
01:37:52,322 --> 01:37:55,653
We would spend entire nights
lying together, naked.

1670
01:37:58,262 --> 01:37:59,360
We would make love.

1671
01:38:05,071 --> 01:38:06,169
We would make love.

1672
01:38:09,438 --> 01:38:11,108
Do you find that disgusting?

1673
01:38:11,143 --> 01:38:12,736
Charlie, god is ready
to help you.

1674
01:38:12,771 --> 01:38:16,311
Oh, I hope
that there isn't a god,

1675
01:38:16,346 --> 01:38:19,050
because I hate to think
that there's an afterlife,

1676
01:38:19,085 --> 01:38:22,548
and that Alan can see
what I have done to myself.

1677
01:38:22,583 --> 01:38:25,650
Charlie...
That he can see
my swollen feet

1678
01:38:25,685 --> 01:38:27,553
and the sores on my skin,

1679
01:38:27,588 --> 01:38:29,027
and the patches of mold

1680
01:38:29,062 --> 01:38:30,325
in between the flaps.
Stop.

1681
01:38:30,360 --> 01:38:32,393
The infected ulcers on my ass,

1682
01:38:32,428 --> 01:38:36,100
and the sack of fat on my back
that turned brown last year.

1683
01:38:36,135 --> 01:38:38,102
Okay, stop!
This is disgusting?

1684
01:38:38,137 --> 01:38:40,203
Yes!
I'm disgusting?

1685
01:38:40,238 --> 01:38:42,106
(Shouting) Yes,
you're disgusting! You're...

1686
01:38:53,548 --> 01:38:55,317
(Breath shuddering,
whispering) I'm sorry.

1687
01:38:59,125 --> 01:39:00,125
What?

1688
01:39:03,459 --> 01:39:05,459
Go home to your family.

1689
01:39:16,142 --> 01:39:18,340
(Charlie coughs)
(Door opens)

1690
01:39:19,739 --> 01:39:24,049
(Door closes)
(Continues coughing)

1691
01:39:25,712 --> 01:39:27,349
(Coughs heavily)

1692
01:39:54,675 --> 01:39:57,544
Charlie: Well,
your complaints
have been heard.

1693
01:39:58,382 --> 01:39:59,546
I've been replaced

1694
01:39:59,581 --> 01:40:01,713
by someone who will, no doubt,

1695
01:40:01,748 --> 01:40:05,189
have you rewrite,
and rewrite, and rewrite,

1696
01:40:05,653 --> 01:40:08,159
be more objective,

1697
01:40:08,821 --> 01:40:10,227
less authentic,

1698
01:40:10,262 --> 01:40:12,757
less you, with every draft.

1699
01:40:15,729 --> 01:40:19,434
But some of you saw my post

1700
01:40:19,469 --> 01:40:22,404
about writing something honest.

1701
01:40:25,739 --> 01:40:26,739
And...

1702
01:40:28,148 --> 01:40:29,148
(Sighs)

1703
01:40:30,282 --> 01:40:32,084
The things
that some of you wrote...

1704
01:40:33,912 --> 01:40:35,351
Kristy, you wrote,

1705
01:40:36,453 --> 01:40:39,520
"my parents want me
to be a radiologist,

1706
01:40:39,555 --> 01:40:42,160
"but I don't even know
what that is."

1707
01:40:48,696 --> 01:40:50,234
Julian, you wrote,

1708
01:40:50,269 --> 01:40:53,567
"I'm sick of people telling me
that I have promise."

1709
01:41:01,379 --> 01:41:02,444
Adam, you wrote,

1710
01:41:03,612 --> 01:41:05,513
"I think I need to accept
that my life

1711
01:41:05,548 --> 01:41:07,878
"isn't going to be
very exciting."

1712
01:41:11,224 --> 01:41:15,589
You all wrote these
amazing, honest things, and...

1713
01:41:17,725 --> 01:41:19,824
You've been so honest
with me that I... I...

1714
01:41:23,401 --> 01:41:24,532
(Grunts softly)

1715
01:41:25,502 --> 01:41:26,831
I just want to be...

1716
01:41:28,406 --> 01:41:29,801
Honest with you, too.

1717
01:41:30,870 --> 01:41:32,210
(Exhales)

1718
01:41:35,677 --> 01:41:37,710
(Breathes deeply)

1719
01:42:05,410 --> 01:42:06,640
(Sighs heavily)

1720
01:42:12,010 --> 01:42:13,713
<i>These assignments don't matter.</i>

1721
01:42:15,519 --> 01:42:16,749
<i>This course doesn't matter.</i>

1722
01:42:18,885 --> 01:42:20,225
<i>College doesn't matter.</i>

1723
01:42:22,559 --> 01:42:25,494
<i>These amazing, honest things
that you wrote,</i>

1724
01:42:29,533 --> 01:42:30,631
they matter.

1725
01:42:34,670 --> 01:42:35,768
(Laptop crashes)

1726
01:42:38,003 --> 01:42:39,871
(Charlie wheezes)

1727
01:42:50,015 --> 01:42:51,421
(Charlie coughs)

1728
01:43:05,998 --> 01:43:07,866
(Wheezing continues)

1729
01:43:12,070 --> 01:43:13,707
I'm sorry.
Don't.

1730
01:43:20,452 --> 01:43:21,946
(Breathes erratically)

1731
01:43:25,017 --> 01:43:26,390
(Suppresses grunt)

1732
01:43:30,330 --> 01:43:32,930
I really hate you
for putting me through
this again, you know that?

1733
01:43:35,896 --> 01:43:37,434
Those last few months
before Alan...

1734
01:43:38,932 --> 01:43:41,438
I'd come over here,
shake him, scream at him,

1735
01:43:41,473 --> 01:43:43,473
just trying to get him
to fucking eat something.

1736
01:43:43,508 --> 01:43:46,036
God, that was awful!
It was awful for me, too.

1737
01:43:46,071 --> 01:43:47,444
Yeah? Well,
you weren't the one

1738
01:43:47,479 --> 01:43:48,874
who had to identify his body,

1739
01:43:48,909 --> 01:43:50,612
all bloated...
They wouldn't let me.

1740
01:43:52,077 --> 01:43:53,483
I wasn't family.

1741
01:43:55,047 --> 01:43:56,354
(Sighs)

1742
01:44:02,626 --> 01:44:04,626
(Charlie coughs and wheezes)

1743
01:44:07,631 --> 01:44:09,730
I got you two meatball subs.
Extra cheese.

1744
01:44:15,100 --> 01:44:16,836
(Sighs, sniffles)

1745
01:44:16,871 --> 01:44:18,002
I don't know what I'm doing.

1746
01:44:24,483 --> 01:44:26,714
(Breathes heavily)

1747
01:44:26,749 --> 01:44:28,881
I'm not going to the hospital.

1748
01:44:28,916 --> 01:44:30,454
I'm not asking you to.

1749
01:44:35,857 --> 01:44:37,692
I can't do this anymore.

1750
01:44:40,796 --> 01:44:42,532
I tried to save him, Liz.

1751
01:44:45,801 --> 01:44:47,735
I thought
that if I just loved him,

1752
01:44:50,674 --> 01:44:52,476
that he wouldn't need
anyone else.

1753
01:44:55,448 --> 01:44:56,876
I told him he didn't need god,

1754
01:44:58,176 --> 01:45:01,518
he didn't need anyone but me.

1755
01:45:03,423 --> 01:45:04,423
Charlie,

1756
01:45:05,887 --> 01:45:07,689
all I know is that you gave Alan

1757
01:45:07,724 --> 01:45:08,954
the best years of his life.

1758
01:45:08,989 --> 01:45:10,571
If it weren't for you,
he would have jumped off

1759
01:45:10,595 --> 01:45:12,562
that bridge years earlier.
(Shudders)

1760
01:45:13,158 --> 01:45:14,531
Nobody could've saved him.

1761
01:45:14,566 --> 01:45:16,434
Believe me,
I spent years trying.

1762
01:45:17,063 --> 01:45:18,700
(Breathes heavily)

1763
01:45:20,473 --> 01:45:23,067
I don't think I believe anyone
can save anyone.

1764
01:45:29,548 --> 01:45:30,613
She saved him.

1765
01:45:33,079 --> 01:45:37,180
She wasn't trying to hurt him.
She was trying to help him.

1766
01:45:37,215 --> 01:45:39,149
Who are you talking about?

1767
01:45:39,184 --> 01:45:41,624
He's going home. She did that.

1768
01:45:42,891 --> 01:45:44,990
Charlie...
She didn't do it to hurt him,

1769
01:45:45,795 --> 01:45:48,026
she did it to send him home.

1770
01:45:49,601 --> 01:45:51,931
Do you feel light-headed?
Charlie, look at me.

1771
01:45:51,966 --> 01:45:54,571
She was trying to help him.
Who?

1772
01:45:55,640 --> 01:45:59,169
Ellie. She was trying
to help him,

1773
01:45:59,204 --> 01:46:01,105
she just wanted
to send him home.

1774
01:46:03,813 --> 01:46:07,650
Do you ever get
the feeling that...

1775
01:46:09,555 --> 01:46:12,919
People are incapable
of not caring?

1776
01:46:18,498 --> 01:46:19,926
People are amazing.

1777
01:46:21,501 --> 01:46:22,533
(Door opens)

1778
01:46:23,635 --> 01:46:24,700
What the fuck did you do?

1779
01:46:27,837 --> 01:46:28,869
What's wrong with him?

1780
01:46:31,038 --> 01:46:32,038
He's dying.

1781
01:46:33,942 --> 01:46:35,612
So, call someone.

1782
01:46:35,647 --> 01:46:37,482
(Softly) No.
Call a fucking ambulance!

1783
01:46:38,111 --> 01:46:39,111
Liz.

1784
01:46:40,113 --> 01:46:41,519
I need to talk to him.

1785
01:46:41,554 --> 01:46:42,795
I'm not leaving you
alone with him.

1786
01:46:42,819 --> 01:46:44,247
I need to talk to him alone.

1787
01:46:44,282 --> 01:46:45,490
(Softly) Liz.

1788
01:46:48,286 --> 01:46:49,527
Please.

1789
01:46:54,094 --> 01:46:55,094
Okay.

1790
01:47:01,706 --> 01:47:03,508
(Stifled sobbing)

1791
01:47:12,849 --> 01:47:13,980
Liz: I'll call someone.

1792
01:47:16,919 --> 01:47:17,919
Charlie.

1793
01:47:21,055 --> 01:47:22,659
I'll wait downstairs.

1794
01:47:30,130 --> 01:47:32,130
Why did you do that?
(Chuckling) What?

1795
01:47:34,574 --> 01:47:35,574
I failed.

1796
01:47:36,202 --> 01:47:37,806
It's a really good essay.

1797
01:47:37,841 --> 01:47:40,776
Are you just trying
to screw me over
one last time?

1798
01:47:40,811 --> 01:47:42,822
I don't care about you!
I don't care
that you're dying.

1799
01:47:42,846 --> 01:47:44,186
Do you want me to fail
out of high school?

1800
01:47:44,210 --> 01:47:46,177
Is that why you did this?
I didn't write it.

1801
01:47:46,212 --> 01:47:48,718
This is the essay
that you gave me yesterday.

1802
01:47:48,753 --> 01:47:50,588
You didn't read it.
I don't need to read it.

1803
01:47:51,052 --> 01:47:52,052
Read it.

1804
01:47:56,189 --> 01:47:58,090
(Breathing laboriously)

1805
01:48:03,669 --> 01:48:04,669
This is...

1806
01:48:06,067 --> 01:48:07,605
I know what this is.

1807
01:48:07,640 --> 01:48:09,706
(Chuckling) I knew you would.

1808
01:48:10,775 --> 01:48:11,775
I wrote this.

1809
01:48:14,042 --> 01:48:15,778
You never forget anything.

1810
01:48:15,813 --> 01:48:18,682
I wrote this in eighth grade
for English. Why do you...

1811
01:48:18,717 --> 01:48:20,783
"And I felt saddest of all

1812
01:48:20,818 --> 01:48:23,049
"when I read the boring chapters

1813
01:48:23,084 --> 01:48:25,920
"that were only descriptions
of whales,

1814
01:48:25,955 --> 01:48:28,956
"because I knew that

1815
01:48:28,991 --> 01:48:32,630
"the author
was just trying to save us

1816
01:48:32,665 --> 01:48:34,929
"from his own sad story,

1817
01:48:36,933 --> 01:48:38,801
"just for a little while."

1818
01:48:38,836 --> 01:48:40,605
(Charlie chuckles)
(Sniffles)

1819
01:48:40,640 --> 01:48:43,300
How do you have this?
Your mother,

1820
01:48:43,335 --> 01:48:45,368
she sent it to me
four years ago.

1821
01:48:45,403 --> 01:48:48,140
I wanted to know
how you were doing in school,

1822
01:48:48,175 --> 01:48:49,944
and she sent it.

1823
01:48:49,979 --> 01:48:53,211
And it's the best essay
I've ever read.

1824
01:48:53,246 --> 01:48:55,126
(Sobbing) Why are you
fucking with me like this?

1825
01:48:55,919 --> 01:48:56,919
I'm not.

1826
01:48:57,987 --> 01:49:01,351
(Sobs) I'm sorry
for leaving you.

1827
01:49:03,696 --> 01:49:07,093
I was in love, and...

1828
01:49:07,128 --> 01:49:08,996
(Inhales laboriously)
I left you behind.

1829
01:49:10,934 --> 01:49:14,298
You did not deserve that.
I don't...

1830
01:49:14,333 --> 01:49:16,773
I don't know how
(Inhales laboriously)

1831
01:49:16,808 --> 01:49:18,709
I could have done such a thing.

1832
01:49:18,744 --> 01:49:21,008
You're so beautiful. (Sobs)

1833
01:49:21,043 --> 01:49:22,944
You're amazing.
Stop.

1834
01:49:25,245 --> 01:49:27,982
You're amazing.
(Sobs)

1835
01:49:28,820 --> 01:49:30,952
This essay is amazing.

1836
01:49:32,725 --> 01:49:35,187
This essay is you.

1837
01:49:35,222 --> 01:49:36,353
Stop saying that.

1838
01:49:36,388 --> 01:49:39,994
This essay is you.
Stop saying that!

1839
01:49:40,029 --> 01:49:43,129
You're the best thing
I have ever done.

1840
01:49:43,164 --> 01:49:44,702
(Cries out in pain)

1841
01:49:44,737 --> 01:49:46,836
(Coughs)
What's the matter?

1842
01:49:46,871 --> 01:49:47,903
Ellie!

1843
01:49:47,938 --> 01:49:49,872
No. Okay, I can't
be here right now.

1844
01:49:49,907 --> 01:49:51,269
I have to go.
You're perfect.

1845
01:49:51,876 --> 01:49:53,007
You'll be happy.

1846
01:49:54,340 --> 01:49:57,209
You care about people. (Sobs)

1847
01:49:57,244 --> 01:49:58,884
The ambulance is coming,
they'll help you.

1848
01:49:58,916 --> 01:50:00,344
No. They won't.

1849
01:50:00,379 --> 01:50:03,248
You're going to the hospital.
No.

1850
01:50:03,283 --> 01:50:05,316
You just need surgery,
or something!

1851
01:50:05,351 --> 01:50:09,287
Read it to me. (Grunts)
What?

1852
01:50:09,322 --> 01:50:12,829
(Struggling)
If you want to help,
read it to me.

1853
01:50:13,832 --> 01:50:16,800
You'll help if you read it.

1854
01:50:16,835 --> 01:50:19,099
You asshole.
You fat fucking asshole!

1855
01:50:19,134 --> 01:50:20,166
You'll help...
Fuck you.

1856
01:50:20,201 --> 01:50:21,464
Please.
Fuck you!

1857
01:50:21,499 --> 01:50:22,773
Ellie!

1858
01:50:26,207 --> 01:50:27,404
(Sobbing) Daddy, please.

1859
01:50:35,447 --> 01:50:36,985
(Ellie sniffling)

1860
01:50:46,392 --> 01:50:49,998
"In the amazing book,<i> Moby dick,</i>
by the author Herman melville,

1861
01:50:50,033 --> 01:50:52,935
"the author recounts his story
of being at sea.

1862
01:50:52,970 --> 01:50:54,299
"In the first part of his book,

1863
01:50:54,334 --> 01:50:56,334
"the author,
calling himself ishmael,

1864
01:50:56,369 --> 01:50:58,105
"is in a small seaside town

1865
01:50:58,140 --> 01:51:01,174
"and he is sharing a bed
with a man named queequeg.

1866
01:51:01,209 --> 01:51:03,506
"The author and queequeg
go to church

1867
01:51:03,541 --> 01:51:04,980
"and later set out on a ship

1868
01:51:05,015 --> 01:51:06,443
"captained by a pirate
named ahab,

1869
01:51:06,478 --> 01:51:07,884
"who is missing a leg,

1870
01:51:08,920 --> 01:51:10,513
"and very much wants
to kill the whale

1871
01:51:10,548 --> 01:51:13,791
"which is named Moby dick,
and which is white.

1872
01:51:13,826 --> 01:51:15,826
"In the course of the book,

1873
01:51:15,861 --> 01:51:18,224
"the pirate ahab encounters
many hardships."
(Grunts)

1874
01:51:18,259 --> 01:51:21,766
"His entire life is set
around trying to kill
a certain whale."

1875
01:51:21,801 --> 01:51:23,328
(Panting)
"I think this is sad

1876
01:51:23,363 --> 01:51:25,044
"because this whale
doesn't have any emotions,

1877
01:51:25,068 --> 01:51:27,464
"and doesn't know how bad
ahab wants to kill him.

1878
01:51:27,499 --> 01:51:28,839
"He's just a poor

1879
01:51:29,369 --> 01:51:32,007
"big animal."

1880
01:51:32,042 --> 01:51:35,010
(Charlie gasps for breath)

1881
01:51:35,045 --> 01:51:37,111
"And I feel bad
for ahab as well,

1882
01:51:37,146 --> 01:51:38,794
"because he thinks
that his life will be better

1883
01:51:38,818 --> 01:51:40,345
"if he can just kill this whale,

1884
01:51:40,380 --> 01:51:42,215
"but in reality,
it won't help him at all."

1885
01:51:43,251 --> 01:51:45,856
(Charlie breathing shallowly)

1886
01:51:45,891 --> 01:51:48,419
"I was very saddened
by this book,

1887
01:51:48,454 --> 01:51:50,454
"and I felt many emotions
for the characters.

1888
01:51:53,294 --> 01:51:54,799
"And I felt saddest of all

1889
01:51:54,834 --> 01:51:56,042
"when I read the boring chapters

1890
01:51:56,066 --> 01:51:58,099
"that were only descriptions
of whales,

1891
01:51:58,134 --> 01:52:00,266
"because I knew
that the author was just trying

1892
01:52:00,301 --> 01:52:02,136
"to save us
from his own sad story,

1893
01:52:03,007 --> 01:52:04,105
"just for a little while."

1894
01:52:04,140 --> 01:52:05,502
(Gasping)

1895
01:52:05,537 --> 01:52:07,108
(Waves lapping)

1896
01:52:07,143 --> 01:52:09,143
(Emotional music playing)

1897
01:52:12,148 --> 01:52:14,049
"This book made me think
about my own life,

1898
01:52:15,415 --> 01:52:17,921
"and then it made me
feel glad for my..."

1899
01:52:17,956 --> 01:52:19,450
(Breathing erratically)

1900
01:52:21,388 --> 01:52:22,453
(Laughing)

1901
01:52:22,488 --> 01:52:23,520
(Chuckles)

1902
01:52:23,555 --> 01:52:25,225
(Music swells)

1903
01:52:25,260 --> 01:52:26,260
(Gasps)

1904
01:52:34,467 --> 01:52:36,071
(Waves crashing)

1905
01:52:37,404 --> 01:52:39,943
(Emotional music continues)

1906
01:54:01,191 --> 01:54:03,191
(Grim music playing)

1907
01:54:12,367 --> 01:54:14,367
(Waves crashing gently)